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I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone I thought I loved. The first year was great then after that I was mentally and physically abused. This guy use to chock me until I was gasping for tear, he would pull my hair, bite my face and also drag me into the car. I know it’s easier said then done but I didn’t leave: he would cry and beg for him to come back. At one point I turned nasty and started calling him fat, ugly because I couldn’t handle the abuse. He use to make me have sex with him when I didn’t want to and he use to say that I wasn’t normal for not wanting it. There were times he would not stop when I asked him to stop because he was hurting me and he wouldn’t until I pushed him off. There was a time where I just layed there and couldn’t move but he still had sec with me. He made me feel like I wasn’t normal for asking him to stop so I let him carry on. The abuse got so bad that I left, although he said if I leave, he would hurt me. I went away and then he kept threatening me. I got back together and continued to handle his mental abuse towards me because of my culture I just accepted that was my fate. I kept having a feeling that he was cheating because he kept coming to see me after work to have sex but then would say i’m Working when I was off. He carried on the abuse for a little longer. I found out he had a relationship with someone for visa purpose as his visa had an issue and he wanted to do them but I was not ready to marry to help him. I spoke to the girl and she confirmed it that was for visa. One night I pray and I see a picture of him with some other girl. He then lied about that until I went on fb and found the truth. I gave him a choice and he choice me but kept stringing me along. I then messaged the Actual girl with pictures and evidence that he was never single when he married her. she called me a jealous ex and didn’t believe me. I then found out the girl I spoke to was his side chick. I then found out he cheated on me with some girl I know but she didn’t know that we were together. Apparently he also was seen with other girls out when we broke up. Throughout that time I was made to believe it was my fault and he was taking drugs because of me and I made him do it because I didn’t love him enough. He calls me from time to time on private with songs saying it’s my fault his heart is broken.


I’m slowly healing but it hurts to know that he gets away with stuff like that and the girl his with thinks i’m This weirdo when i’m Not. I’m beyond the angry bow but I just feel more hurt that someone like that just doesn’t have a care in the worth that he hurt someone.

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This is going to require therapy to heal. Have nothing to do with him zero nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing. I would just feel sorry for those girls because he’s doing the exact same thing to them that he did to you. Abusers don’t change they never change ever ever ever.


Please go and get some help.

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I can’t due to work issue as the moment. I the process of getting therapy. I have to wait due to the waiting time frame. It’s made me lose my confidence and feel ugly:(. I never want him back. The idea of him makes me sick. He was never my type but he tried for two years until I give in

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Sorry this happened. Do you live with family? Do you work? You need to immediately block and delete him and all his people from all devices, all messaging apps and all social media. You also need to get a restraining order.


Get to therapy to help you sort all this out and most off all why you are obsessed with his new target. Abusers are abusers. Be glad he is gone. Who cares what he or his new target think? Be glad you are free and safe from this creep. Focus on yourself and healing and rebuilding self-respect.

I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone I thought I loved. He calls me from time to time on private with songs saying it’s my fault his heart is broken.


the girl his with thinks i’m This weirdo when i’m Not.

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I did change my location of work and where I usually atat


Take the final step and change your number. That way he can't continue to message you and you won't be tempted to give in.


Also, you don't have to wait to join an abuse survivors' support group. They are free and available today.

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yeah I do. My friends have been my support throughout this time but i’ve Lost confidence in myself. I don’t feel nice when I use to feel so lovely before and I use to have so much confidence. I was consumed by angry bug i’m Not anymore. Just disappointment because he always blames me for his mistakes and he blames me for his drug abuse too

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