Imaga Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Hey everyone! New here and still trying to cope a little bit more from day to day but still have a question My (ex) and I were together for 7 years (my first love) and she broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We never fought and even then I didnt looked for a fight...She still says she cares for me, but is not "in love" with me and wanted to stay (best) friends. I asked for no contact for like 30 days to just sort through everything as this came out of the blue for me (probably not for her...). We agreed to ten days. A week later she told me that there is nothing left and even felt relieved. We remained in contact for a little bit as I moved out but still had some thing left. She went away for a night and I asked her if I could move the rest as she was gone and she agreed. I looked into her FB and a game chat and lo and behold, she chatted with her EX she had before me, very explicit at some point and was looking forward to meet him. Im not sure at which time this started, but she went to his home town for a big event and probably due to an old mutual friend met him again. She is the kind of person who can have ex friends as normal friends. I believe she didnt cheat there on me back then, but im not 100% sure. Shes just not that person to do that. Also we had an issue two years before where she began to have feelings for another one but we "worked" through it as this was very shortlived. Now she didnt want to have this kind of thing every two years where she has feeling for another guy. Also she wrote to her dad that our lives went in different directions...which well...she could´ve talked to me about this. I already had plans for our future but maybe she lied to him.... I understand that part of her feelings for another but I would have loved here too to talk this through and not "drown" the 7 years down she ter in an instant. Now comes the big one: They live around 8 hours train ride apart. He will not move out of this home town where he has everything and she would not do this again (she moved for someone but never again) as she has to much in her hometown also. Before she met me she had a 10 month long distance relationship with him (same distance). He visited only once for 1-2 weeks and after that "vanished" a little bit. He also made comments that she was boring in bed. He looked at other woman and so on. Also...she thought the sex was not good as he had a huge and it was more hurting than everything else. And also he tried to flirt with other girls a few months after he left her (where I came slow but steady into her live). Now they got into explicit chat very fast (I believe some days after the breakup) without any thought about their future and also...without thinking what he had done to her back in the day. Its like I did not exist anymore. She is not narcistic so she had very deep feeling for me (and she wanted to stay friends). Im now looking for some answers. I know what I did wrong in the relationship (took her for granted, missed attraction, should have been more active to make it short). But to discover this was a kick in my nuts. I told her on monday that I want no contact as I would fall back everytime with her and it would kill me so to disconnect fully would be the best option for me. I want to stay strong but on the same time, I would love to have her back to start anew. My question: Can you be honest and just tell me I should move on with no contact and try to get over her with time or is this really a rebound? I know, my hopes right now are talking but im also confused about moving on so fast. She probably thought about breaking up in the past at some points but still... Edit: I would love to write her all that but I know she wont listen and will just disconnect more with me probably... Link to comment
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