angelita0609 Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Here’s the consolidated version of my situation. My BF & I have been together for 4 years. Our relationship is marriage bound, I have a great relationship with his kids & will sometimes stay the night when they are there. My boyfriends mother doesn’t like this, she feels it’s morally wrong & says he needs to set a better example for his kids. She’s threatened to stop helping him out with the kids if I continue to stay at all (she helps with taking/picking up the kids from school on days his work schedule isn’t conducive for him to do so himself). Needless to say he needs the help so it’s put him in between a rock & a hard place. However neither of us are happy at all about her using her offer for assistance as leverage to control something in our relationship. I’m extremely displeased as I don’t need her feeling she can control any aspect of our relationship that doesn’t align with her own personal beliefs. I’m not a fan of coercive behavior which is what this is. My boyfriend has spoken with her and expressed his disagreement with this, but it was useless. I’m at a loss as to how we deal with this further so she’s aware we aren’t interested in her feeling she can dictate our relationship as well as setting boundaries & make it clear I’ll stay the night without her saying otherwise. It’s a need to tread lightly subject as he doesn’t want to jeopardize the help with the kids, but also doesn’t want to have to conform to her wishes. Quite honestly he’s an adult and no one, mother or not should be dictating how he does anything, lives his life to include how he parents. I feel like I’m 16 years old again being told you can’t do this.... Link to comment
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