Jump to content

Was I wrong for sharing that post with a former fwb?


Recommended Posts

My fwb of now went through my phone and found the name of someone I still talk to.He made a post on Facebook

and used my friend's name on the post. I did share the post with my friend to see what he thinks. Even he said that he must have went through my phone. He also said to me he know you be talking to me. Me and former fwb are still friends. We actually known each other for 29 yrs. Even when I was married we still talked only as friends.I only showed him the post to see if he'd think the same thing I thought and I was right. He knew it was about him.

 

 

Thoughts and opinions please.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There is not wrong or right in this really.

 

From the bleacher seats what I see is a person (you) who enjoys both stirring the pot, having the pot stirred, and who seeks out like-minded souls as friends, FWBs, and FWBs-turned-friends.

 

One FWB is jealous of a former FWB, and handles that in a way (snooping, maudlin FB posting) befitting of a tween. Pot stirred. Your response to that is, well, also tween-like: creating threads on the internet, sharing it with the former FWB, and probably enjoying the dramatic buzz of talking about all that together over messages that, as history shows, the current FWB will read and react to. Stirred pot meets stirred pot meets stirred pot.

 

This gives you something you enjoy. Cool. Enjoy it. Nothing "wrong" with doing things we like doing. Seems like the dudes enjoy it on the same level, so no one is being played.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Here are the questions I’d be asking in your shoes:

 

Why am I still interested in an FWB who is snooping through my phone instead of losing interest after he snooped? Why am I interested in a FWB who is shaming me and my friend on social media?

 

Do I want my FWB to be my boyfriend? Is it fair to me to keep pretending otherwise? Or do I just enjoy him as a FWB who wants ME to be his girlfriend? Is that fair to him?

 

Or do I just like drama? The drama that comes with being called honeybun when things are spicy and my real name when things are chilly? Did I enjoy the snooping and the FB post as much as I enjoyed the sex? Can I be okay with accepting all that about myself?

 

Start with those. Answer them and you’ll have your wrongs and rights, on your terms.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's not about each other . I am asking was it a good idea that I shared it with the person that was mentioned in the post. It's my situation so I need to know. What do you mean why is it important. Really???

 

I do not think this was a good idea. You are creating a bunch of unnecessary drama about a social media post and escalating this into a situation that could have been dealt with directly with your FWB.

 

Edited to add: If you had a hope that you would move into a relationship with your FWB... this behavior is going to destroy any chance you had of making that happen.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If anyone went through my phone without my permission, my relationship with them is over. Done.

 

Never trust anyone who is a red flag or once you know what they're capable of as the dark side of their unsavory character. If you can't trust a person to be a decent human being, this is the continued risk you take.

 

Drop betraying, deceitful, shady, characters that don't quite ring true to you. They're yesterday's trash IMO.

Link to post
Share on other sites
There is not wrong or right in this really.

 

From the bleacher seats what I see is a person (you) who enjoys both stirring the pot, having the pot stirred, and who seeks out like-minded souls as friends, FWBs, and FWBs-turned-friends.

 

One FWB is jealous of a former FWB, and handles that in a way (snooping, maudlin FB posting) befitting of a tween. Pot stirred. Your response to that is, well, also tween-like: creating threads on the internet, sharing it with the former FWB, and probably enjoying the dramatic buzz of talking about all that together over messages that, as history shows, the current FWB will read and react to. Stirred pot meets stirred pot meets stirred pot.

 

This gives you something you enjoy. Cool. Enjoy it. Nothing "wrong" with doing things we like doing. Seems like the dudes enjoy it on the same level, so no one is being played.

 

Definite attention seeking behavior, the giveaway was the OPers response:

 

Um.sweet heart this is not an assumption. Everyone including the person who's name was mentioned knows how obvious that he put his name on the post .He was on my phone.I saw him out it down.He never even knew the guy name.Not to worry? Yes I am he was looking at my messages that's how he got my friend name No one cheating he's a friend.

 

The attitude given in response to someone who answered her question of ‘ did he snoop on my phone’ if you’re sure he did, why take the time to post? You clearly want to keep talking about it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...