my drama queen entitled crazy sister in law. please help!!!

[Cherylyn]

No, don't step in. BOTH of you need to exit this toxic, dysfunctional relationship with your SIL (sister-in-law). This is what enforcing healthy boundaries are.

 

I've been married a long time and have decades worth of experience dealing with in-laws and siblings.

 

It's best for BOTH of you to back off and leave your SIL alone. Don't engage. You can't deal with stupidity. You're the ones who have to hang tough and stay out of it. Don't get involved. Encourage your wife to do the same and give your SIL a wide berth.

 

Whenever I've had very strong disagreements with either stubborn people or people who simply "don't get it," fail to comprehend or those with non-existent emotional intelligence (EQ), I simply allow them to live their own lives while I quietly enjoy my own life. You need to realize what healthy division is.

 

I no longer fight, argue nor bicker. I simply learn to walk away from it all. I don't deal. You can't deal with idiots. You'll never be able to get through to them. Both of you will never be on the same wavelength so give up because it's so much easier! I only wish I knew this earlier. I could've saved myself a lot of grief.

 

Don't lower yourself by trying to reason with the unreasonable. It's senseless. Persuade your wife to change the way she thinks. Once both of you see the light turn on, you'll take the easy route and go your own way in life. I'm doing this now and it feels like RELIEF.

 

Do nothing. Don't react to your SIL anymore and same with your wife. It requires the least amount of energy yet has the most powerful positive impact and results for you and your wife.

[greendots]

Family diplomacy.... oh boy. What experience has taught me is that a diplomatic response generally triumphs any alternative. Talk about safe topics such as the weather, be courteous and avoid interacting with her or even talking about her whenever possible.

 

It is your wife's responsibility to assert herself with her sister.

[catfeeder]

Should I step in? If so how? What would you guys/gals do honestly? thanks.

 

I'd first decide exactly what 'stepping in' means. I'd come up with each scenario I can think of, then I'd play it out to see potential consequences. If I can come up with one action that wouldn't end up feeding the beast, there's my answer.

 

For instance, say I want to contact SIL and tell her that I see through her BS. So I feel better for the few seconds that took, but then, what happens after that?

 

Do you believe that SIL will respond to your charm by folding up all bad behaviors and apologize to her sister and parents? Or do you believe that she will respond to your poke by escalating?

 

Your answers are as good as ours.