He's stopped pursuing contact, what should I do?

[Savanna]

What does that have to do with wanting to continue to communicate with a man who's rude and petty?

 

You're absolutely right

[Savanna]

Update: So I did decide to break the silence guys.

 

After 9 days I messaged saying hello (name)

And then he said hello you ok u must be on your lunch break or something to which I replied haha yes something like that...then I said are u ok..then he went into a paragraph of what hes doing and issues with his car and how hes been so exhausted lately.

 

I was thinking wow hes actually giving me so much info by text hes not nrmally like this. Since he always would rather say he wants to speak on the phone instead.

 

Then i was telling him he needs a holiday if he's exhausted

 

He then goes are you going to organise one *smirk face*

I then messaged saying I will if you pay for it lol ..then i said I'm kidding...

 

He then replied with lol bye (to the if he pays for it comment) ..then he asked have u planned a holiday? Ignoring the idea of me n him going away but now asking about friends. To which I said I did but I changed my mind.

He said what changed your mind I told him I just didn't want to go with the group I was going to go with. He then asked what's wrong with them and I was like they have too many issues and I just don't gel with them. To which he said he knows what I mean since he went away with his friends on holiday and says they didn't get on with one another and now they don't talk.

 

So to continue i asked what happened. This was continuing onto the next day. To which he replied "long story". And I was trying to continue the convo with him and I said "make it shorter and go on" with smiley faces. As to encourage him to open up. Because usually he doesn't want to much. But then he just ignores my message. 🤨 and that whole day i could see was online and offline plenty of.times. sometimes a good half n hour or whatever. And there I was just waiting for a response

So at first he seemed all friendly then he went cold. Tht was just over a day now.

 

Someone told me to just call him but in my over analysing mind I'm just like after me initiating contact after 8 days he could have at least carried on a little bit longer or changed the topic of conversation. And since I can see he's online for ages speaking to others im thinking should I even bother calling.

 

Obviously I initiated contact and put the effort in only because prior to that if u guys read the beginning he was making the effort and wanting me to call him and I knew I wasn't putting in that effort to call and get to know him. But I don't want to go and start pursuing him now when I don't know if he even cares anymore

[Wiseman2]

Yes, he's using the "busy busy busy","stressed stressed stressed" way of avoiding you. He was preemptively preparing reasons not to see or contact you. Stop chasing him.

he went into a paragraph of what hes doing and issues with his car and how hes been so exhausted lately.

[Savanna]

Yes, he's using the "busy busy busy","stressed stressed stressed" way of avoiding you. He was preemptively preparing reasons not to see or contact you. Stop chasing him.

 

Did u read the whole history of it though. What happened at the start etc. How he was pursuing me. But I wasn't receptive. Since this portion was just the update.

[boltnrun]

But that was in the beginning.

[Savanna]

But that was in the beginning.

it was for a couple of months I would say. So what's your point then. I should leave it now

[bluecastle]

What is your goal here, Savana? If you can take a minute to know that, you'll have your answers.

 

For instance, if your goal is to see if he will "open up" more over text—well, he didn't, not in the way you desired. So, bye-bye, next.

 

If your goal is to meet this human being in 3D, as mentioned earlier, it's best to maybe get to that part rather than all this back and forth because people get very bored, very quickly with passive poking and typing out their lives on screens and beaming them to strangers.

 

And if your goal is to be able to poke at him every now and then, get poked back, enjoying both the emojis and the "mystery" of someone fading out—well, cool. No judgment, but own it. You two can do this dance as long as you want, and just chalk this up to know the dance partner is there for some pokes and poke-backs when you're feeling itchy.

[Wiseman2]

He lost interest. It's that simple. It happens all the time. Stop contacting him, see what happens.

How he was pursuing me. But I wasn't receptive.

[Batya33]

Your update confirms he is not interested in dating you at this time. He will contact you if he changes his mind and then you can decide what you would like to do.

 

This reminds me of one of many favorite lines from When Harry Met Sally:

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

 

Now obviously he doesn't need to know that but the gist is the same -when someone wants to date you and sees potential they make that happen ASAP also so that special person doesn't get snapped up by someone else. No matter the "stress" or "too busy" stuff.

[MissCanuck]

it was for a couple of months I would say. So what's your point then. I should leave it now

 

You really should. It's very clear he is no longer interested.