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This is something I wrote a few months ago, pretty personal but I thought maybe it may help someone like it did me.

Suicide- reasons to- 1) I’m totally unhappy, ass deep on stupid debt, I see no point in continuing

Reasons not to- I’m selfish enough to stay around to see a Thomas graduate college, have a family, and see my grandkids. I want to hunt another duck, deer, goose and turkey season, I want to complete the Royal

slam of turkeys, hunt seaducks in Maine and Alaska, whitetail in Saskatchewan. I’m so selfish. I don’t want to hurt Thomas or my Dad, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and guilt my Dad would feel if I did that. Although he shouldn’t feel guilty, he’s been a great dad, someone strong, stable, and provided well for his family. I can only imagine how I would feel if Thomas were to do that and I can’t do that to him. I also can’t imagine hurting Thomas anymore than I already have, even though I’m a complete failure as a father I love him with all my heart and can’t bring myself to hurt him

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