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Should I be worried about my Boyfriends best friend


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My boyfriend has a best friend who is a girl, and before they were friends they had a thing for 2 months. they are really close and it really worries me. they both go to the same school and im at a different school an hour and a half away. so I only get to see him on weekends when we both come home. hes super close with her, and one time sent me a selfie with her head leaning on his shoulder/neck, and has now posted a video on social media of them sitting on a bed together alone. it really makes me upset and I don't know if its just me worrying unnecessarily or if I have a right to be mad about it. I hate stressing and he already told me a story about her ex not wanting them to hangout alone together and how my boyfriend was upset with the fact her then boyfriend didn't like that. so I feel like I have no say in this. my boyfriend obviously really likes me and wants me only but they had a thing before and theyre both drunk at a party and I've never met her. so who knows what would happen. should I be worried? and if I have to talk to him about this how do I say it without sounding crazy or too controlling. thank you

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If you're dating someone who's involved with someone else it's usually best to step away.

 

That's the mistake I made. Instead of just walking away I tried to control it by being around all the time and watching his social media like a hawk. It didn't work. He still did whatever he wanted. He wanted to do his thing even if it hurt me.

 

So I wouldn't bother. But of course it's your choice.

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First off does she even know if you even exist as his gf? Secondly it's not controlling to set boundaries. Nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, but there is a matter of appropriateness when together, like no one on one date like time together, sharing a bed, flirting, getting real wasted together etc. When in a relationship both parties should adjust their behavior towards the opposite sex. Communication is key. If he doesn't see it that way, find a new BF.

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You won't have to worry about him anymore once he becomes your ex-boyfriend.

 

He needs to exercise discretion. His loyalty and devotion belongs to you and no one else. It's obvious that he doesn't care how you feel or what you think. He's not using common sense when it comes to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

 

Twos company, three's a crowd. Until then you have to put up and shut up. If you don't approve of this current arrangement of his and the too chummy woman, then either she goes or you go. Those are your two choices, Katya33.

 

In the future, choose the right guy who knows how to treat YOU with respect, morals, dignity and integrity.

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What age range are we talking about? Regardless, it's disrespectful to have such intimacy level with someone while being in a committed relationship. Have you communicated your concerns and how you feel about this with him? If not you should.

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I'm not gonna say you should be worried but you do need to keep an eye on this. You mention that you have not met her. So meet her. Make arrangements to travel to his school & spend time with him & her there. If he balks at this idea dump him because then there is more to this then he's telling you.

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I would run far away from this.

 

and if I have to talk to him about this how do I say it without sounding crazy or too controlling. thank you

 

"it seems you are really close with Nancy. She really seems to like you. In a relationship, for me, my dating style is to not let guys other than who i am in a serious relationship with in my bedroom/on my bed. So if you guys are close, that's great, but if are styles are different, this might not work out."

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The relationship seems crowded. I hope you know there are better people out there who will treat their boyfriends/girlfriends better than this. Take a deep breath, have a good night’s rest on it and make a decision whether this is what you want in a relationship. You should understand some things in life are negotiable and others are not. Dating and different experiences helps us tell which ones are which.

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before they were friends they had a thing for 2 months.

 

Yeah...no. My own private rule is to avoid anyone who's still involved with an ex in any way, shape or form beyond shared children. You're learning why. I'd tell BF that I'm walking away while we both still think highly of one another, and if he's ever completely done and out of contact with his ex he can give me a call. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Meanwhile, he's free to tend to his old business, and best wishes.

 

Head high, and respect yourself.

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They were and still are a lot more than 'just friends'. Stay away from guys like this. If she's his "best friend", what are you supposed to be? An auxiliary warm body?

My boyfriend has a best friend who is a girl, and before they were friends they had a thing for 2 months.
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