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Hmm I don’t know where you got that from.

As it stands my child doesn’t want to see me because Between me telling her I don’t want her involved in drugs and my wife allowing her to do what she wants I’m the bad parent.

I’m trying to respect my child’s wishes.

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As an (adult) child of a man who decided it was too complicated to make an attempt to see his children after divorce, I can only caution you.

 

I haven't seen or spoken to my father in 35 years. I really hope that doesn't happen to you.

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I suggest you send her texts several times a week telling her you love her and you would like to see her when she's ready. Don't bombard her (of course), but she needs to know this. That way she won't go through what I did, the acute disappointment of discovering my own father thought of me as a burden, a bother, or something he didn't want to deal with.

 

My brother was estranged from one of his children. He did the several times a week texts. After a few months his child (mid teens) asked to live with him. They are fine now.

 

Please don't just let it drop. Continue to try without being pushy.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well a bit of an update/story for you people.

I haven’t been near the internet recently as unfortunately I haven’t been taking this ordeal very well at all. I have now been of work for the past seven weeks and I’m seeing a councillor because as silly as it sounds I just can’t absorb everything that’s going on.

 

I am still away from the family home where my wife and daughter are still staying and I’m getting very mixed signals from my wife when I’m trying to get my head straight.

As of about a month ago it was decided by my wife that our marriage was definitely over and she was moving into another house.

I then got myself a financial advisor and sorted out the family home as my wife and daughter had said they didn’t want to be there anymore so I planned on moving back if it was affordable to me which turns out it was but money would be tight for me.

Two days before I was moving back in and my wife was moving out I got a call from her saying that she was sorry for what she said and it wasn’t over and that she just needed time to herself and I’m her wanting this time could she stay in the family home for this period of time. I was told this would be till the start of January.

I agreed to this as I want to try and keep us all together and mend whatever is broken if I can.

 

Well since I agreed to this things have just gotten worse, worse in the fact my wife can’t speak to me in a civil manner, she still refuses to even see me so I can’t go near the house and for no good reason my daughter is refusing to speak to me, speak to me on a phone not even answer a text message. She has actually blocked my number from calling her.

Now I will point out I have only seen her once since I left at the beginning of October and this was through her choice not mines I tried like a bear to make arrangements.

When we said our goodbyes things where great but she went away for a few days with my wife and her family and since returning she refuses to have anything to do with me.

This really upsets me as it her birthday soon and I wanted it to be a happy time as she told me she wanted for me her and my wife to go for a meal on her birthday.

Well I was so looking forward to this but again since they returned from there few days away this has also changed and this meal now includes all my wife’s family. Better still if I hadn’t asked what was happening on my daughters birthday I would never had know this was happening.

Now you can feel free to jump on me here but I have refused to attend this meal which I am upset about but for all that my wife’s family have done during this I can’t bring myself to spend time in there company, it would be very awkward and uncomfortable and I don’t want that on my daughters birthday.

 

Soooo where I stand now is I feel like I’m going out of my mind with what has been said and I don’t know how I should be moving forward. Do I wait to see what my wife has to say about our marriage in January? I can’t even get a hint of what she is thinking about all this.

 

If I’m being totally honest with myself and part of me doesn’t want to be thinking this but I personally don’t think I want a relationship with my wife anymore. She has caused me so much upset and done some horrible cruel thing during this period. I just feel like there is no going back anymore, that it’s went beyond repairing for me.

Because of what my wife has done I have literally lost everything I have ever loved in my life. Again I know you don’t know me personally trust me when I say it that I have lost everything I have ever loved.

 

Well I look forward to people’s input and sorry for the long post.

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Sorry to hear this. It's good you are going to counselling. What does your attorney advise you to do at this point? Who is living where now? Did your wife get a retaining order against you?

 

Since you saw fit to accuse your daughter of using drugs and accusing your wife of all sorts of things, your daughter may have been advised by counselors, therapists or your wife's attorney to block you. She has excellent reasons to block you when you conjure up all sorts of drama against her based on hearsay.

 

Listening to the gossiping pot-stirring lady friend/neighbor of yours caused you a great deal of damage. Hopefully you've ceased contact with her and no longer use her gossip against your own child.

my wife can’t speak to me in a civil manner, she still refuses to even see me so I can’t go near the house and for no good reason my daughter is refusing to speak to me, speak to me on a phone not even answer a text message. She has actually blocked my number from calling her.
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My wife and daughter are still in the family home. As I mentioned above they were all set to move and I went about saving my house from the creditors and was meant to be moving back in. My wife contacted me days before I was going to move back to ask if I could let them stay in the house as she felt it would help her sort herself out. I obviously said yes but as soon as I did the very next day the nicely nicely had gone from my wife and back to speaking to me like I was nothing.

 

I have remained civil and polite through the most part of this.

My only fault was the thing with my daughter which I may add wasn’t gossiping and turned out to all be infact true but I thought I had already mentioned this🤔.

 

I could go on and on about everything my wife and her family has done to try and put me down and I will admit there has been times when the anger inside me has been at levels I never knew I had but I’ve always kept this to myself and not lashed out. My family think I’m absolutely crazy for putting up with it and sticking up for my wife and daughter because of the mess that has been made of me. I know myself what’s going on is down right cruel towards me but I still can’t go against my wife. I’m not ashamed to say I have had nights after a call from my wife or a text where she has had me in tears with the things said or done.

 

I am now living myself and have lost everything through this, I’m now left dangling like a unused puppet awaiting my wife’s decision on how she wants to proceed in our marriage. I just need to know if this is all over or are we giving it another go but she refuses to give me an answer at the moment.

The problem is from my view this is all making things worse for us and I’m starting to feel that I should just make the decision to end the marriage once and for all because I feel this has went on long enough and I need to move on.

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The one thing that constantly runs through my mind on making a decision is, can I ever trust my wife again because of what she has done and been doing for months now behind my back.

 

I think if trust has gone there is no going back but this is what I’m talking through with my councillor at the moment to try and help me see it in a sensible way and not through anger and upset.

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Timeout. the fact that you refused to go to your daughters birthday dinner when you found out it wasn’t an intimate just you your wife and daughter event is all I need to know to recognize your head is still in your a**.

 

You may not think all this is affecting her, but it is.

 

You may not recognize you have laser focus on your wife and that’s it but it’s true.

 

Please try to get through the fog so you can be there for your daughter

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