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Asking Her Out (kinda)


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Ok, so a little context. I live in Australia so the schooling system goes from Kindergarten to Prep to Grade 1-12 and once 12 is finished we are done. In our school year we have 4 terms (usually 9-10 weeks long) and 2 semesters (generally From January 25th to November 25th). So I am 17 and in Grade 12, my final year, and am approaching the end of Term 3. In term 4, most high schools typically have an End of Year Formal - the Australian equivalent of America's Homecoming - where you have the option of taking a date, and your parents if you want, but not having parents means that I'll be going alone unless I either get a girlfriend or find a girl to ask. Now I don't have a problem with finding a girl, I already know a cool chick who I wanna take who isn't in my class. The problem I am having is thinking of a way to ask her that doesn't seem to come off as "wanna be my gf?" but that still conveys the message of me wanting her to come to formal with me.

 

any suggestions?

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Ok, sorry I should have clarified. Unlike Homecoming which allows multiple classes or America's equivalent of Grade levels, Australian Senior Formal's are for Grade 12's only. The girl I want to ask is in Grade 11 and thus wouldn't be planning to go to formal.

 

Me: "Hey, Martha, are you planning on going to the end-of-year formal?"

Martha: "No, I'm not grade 12!" *proceeds to laugh at me for being very stupid*

 

It is really stupid that we only do 1 grade level but I just have to deal with it.

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Why not just ask her if she wants to go to the dance with you?

 

You: "Hey, Martha? Want to go to the dance with me?"

 

That's not asking her to be your gf, so you don't need to worry. Are you interested in her romantically, or just interested in going as pals?

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Why not just ask her if she wants to go to the dance with you?

 

You: "Hey, Martha? Want to go to the dance with me?"

 

That's not asking her to be your gf, so you don't need to worry. Are you interested in her romantically, or just interested in going as pals?

 

Good point. I am only on here to get an idea of what I might say, but I guess what you just said is pretty much it. I don't think of her romantically but it's not like she's in the friend zone. I just know she is a cool, mature girl who I think I would have a lot of fun with at the formal. Thanks

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Ask her to the dance. It doesn't mean you're bf/gf, it means it's a date. It's like Prom in the US. A date.

I already know a cool chick who I wanna take who isn't in my class. The problem I am having is thinking of a way to ask her that doesn't seem to come off as "wanna be my gf?"
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If you know her know her, I don't see what the issue is. Just be yourself and ask her to go with you to the formal. Reference the formal part.

 

If you are getting to know her or don't know if she is even intending on going to the formal, ask her what she thinks about things like that and go from there. Have a loose conversation about it. You can also ask her if she would be open to the idea of going to the formal with you once she expresses some interest or curiosity.

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Yep. In the US everyone wants to go to Prom in high school so you need a date. It's not even an indicator of more, although it could be. Just ask. Remember the good ones get asked first/early so get cracking 😄

Just say "Hey I need a date for the dance, want to come with me?"
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I was under the impression that it's fine to ask someone to go to your deb (Year 11 debutante ball) or Year 12 formal just for the sake of having a date. I'm in Australia also but I finished school back in 2002 and also was a bit of a loser back at school. So I didn't have a date to the deb or formal. Woe me lol

 

Do you know this girl much or not really? Do you have her on social media or could you add her to social media? I was just thinking that maybe if you had a few friendly conversations with her first and kind of established a friendship then it may not come across as asking her on a date. Also even if she does agree to go with you, you are not obliged to be on a date with her or do anything like kiss her, etc. If you go together and you are not romantically into her, just act as a friend and hopefully she'll get the point.

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I was under the impression that it's fine to ask someone to go to your deb (Year 11 debutante ball) or Year 12 formal just for the sake of having a date. I'm in Australia also but I finished school back in 2002 and also was a bit of a loser back at school. So I didn't have a date to the deb or formal. Woe me lol

 

Do you know this girl much or not really? Do you have her on social media or could you add her to social media? I was just thinking that maybe if you had a few friendly conversations with her first and kind of established a friendship then it may not come across as asking her on a date. Also even if she does agree to go with you, you are not obliged to be on a date with her or do anything like kiss her, etc. If you go together and you are not romantically into her, just act as a friend and hopefully she'll get the point.

 

I'm not sure if you know it, but there is this thing called Relay For Life which help fund raise for cancer research. You basically camp an oval or field and you walk around this oval with a team, passing around a baton or specific item. Anyways, I went with her and a few of her other friends.

 

She had invited me and I barely even knew who she was. I actually didn't know she existed which I feel really bad about. We hung out during the whole night and when we got tired I wrapped myself in a blanket and we talked for an hour until she fell asleep half on me. I didn't assume anything else. We have been friends for months, I'd say compared to the others in her class, she is the closest. Probably because she is super mature and funny, which matches the qualities of all my closest friend.

 

She doesn't have any social media account other than google and YouTube and I don't know how often she checks her email *laughing face*. But we do chat almost every day.

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So quick update, I spent a bit more time with her over the past couple days and realised I kinda have a crush on her. So I am asking her out monday, I am also asking her to formal. I am not giving myself time to procrastinate about whether she will reject me or not so wish me luck.

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😉👍💃🕺😀👇🤞👌👍👏

So quick update, I spent a bit more time with her over the past couple days and realised I kinda have a crush on her. So I am asking her out monday, I am also asking her to formal. I am not giving myself time to procrastinate about whether she will reject me or not so wish me luck.
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