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The ex popped up again


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Batya, your husband would get annoyed by your ex contacting you? Why then would he be in contact with people that he has dated in the past? This seems a bit pot calling the kettle black. I'm not a fan of all these in my marriage (personally speaking). It's too inconsistent for my liking and overly complicated.


No, not at all. He might be annoyed with this particular ex contacting me because of the past. Not all exes. Just like I would be annoyed if he were in contact with his most recent ex before me because of how she behaved when he and I reconnected. Perfectly consistent and very simple. We each have friends of the opposite gender and we almost always have. Some of those people we've dated in the past ,some not. Some we are friends with, some acquaintances, etc.

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Update: I decided the best thing to do is to be honest with “C”... not about my internal feelings of the interaction, because those feelings are mine and I’m still processing that but I was honest about the interaction.


I told him it also made me reevaluate my relationship with him (“C”) and that I am thankful for him and appreciate him.


“C” took it really well! Told me he appreciated my honesty and asked me what I intended on doing so after careful debate, I decided to let X know that continuing communication would be inappropriate and block him. I haven’t done it yet. I want to word it carefully and sensitively, which C understood. He said I didn’t have to block X for his sake but I told him it was the right thing to do since X obviously didn’t respect me or my current relationship.




Time for glass half empty chick to come in.


This isn’t cute or healthy.


You have to think about blocking the dude who made you his mistress.


Let that sink in.


I dont believe this wobbling is because ‘it’s not as passionate’ I personally think it’s because you have a warped sense of what a healthy relationship is so dysfunction is prettied up and called passion.


It doesn’t seem like you ever truly healed yourself after him. You weren’t whole to begin with, so broken girl becomes mistress, broken girl is heartbroken going from guy to guy still pining after broken relationship enter another relationship where you never fully gave yourself to the man because you can’t give what you don’t have, and the second dysfunction comes knocking....


I want you to prove me wrong.


If I’m wrong there is absolutely no logical reason to have to tell him you’re blocking him, you don’t owe him jack sh*t, to believe you must tell an ex like this anything ‘sensitively’ to me is to ensure he hovers, block him and move forward.


If you don’t again sorry but you’re prettying up your desire for dysfunction.

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If you can get back together with X now that he has changed, it will undo all the pain he ever caused you! You won't have to hold that narrative in your mind anymore, it will all finally and forever be under the bridge, and you can get back to the direction you were hoping your life would go when it all started!




You have healed from a lot of that, and going back in time won't heal you. Continuing to move forward is where the true healing is. Not to mention that X has not changed and is once again completely inconsiderate about relationship boundaries. This time, instead of cheating on his own relationship, he's trying to wear you down and get you to cheat on yours.


He's a creep. And he wants to make you one as well.


You've come too far to lose it all.

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