Pages he likes on Facebook

[Anastasia253]

This honestly sounds incredibly casual.

 

I guess it’s just me and feelings towards social media, you didn’t just happen upon this info not unless you’re fb friends and He just happen to like all those boob pages in one swoop one quiet evening, likes don’t pop up on someone’s feed unless they’re new, you didn’t hack him but to me you did take deliberate steps to get this specific info.

 

Let’s be real though, he makes crude jokes and although you’ve been in contact since May you’ve only been on a couple of dates, this doesn’t sound all that promising so maybe your gut was calling out for you to ‘find’ a reason to walk away.

 

In the future maybe set boundaries and expectations and when a man doesn’t meet them know that’s your wit Oreo walk away. You may stumble a bit but hopefully it will all com together for you. Honestly of all the details you’ve given I saw multiple red flags the fb like not being one of tgem, but doesn’t help

 

He likes the pages, not the posts.. All I did was to look at his about info and I saw all these pages he likes.. We're not even friends on FB. His about info is public so everyone can see it.

[boltnrun]

The guy I was dating who made the loud, crude comments about women's breasts in public was 40 years old at the time. The guy I dated with the nudie posters all over his room was 35 at the time.

 

Age doesn't always equal maturity.

 

Also, yeah, I dated some real winners .

[Anastasia253]

FB likes aside (which alone would be a turn-off, and not because he likes larger chested women obviously, but like the others have pointed out, because he takes no issue making it known on FB), if a guy texted me a picture & comment like the one this guy sent you OP of the Disney princesses, I'd be out.

 

His behavior won't change, even if you do meet on Tuesday to discuss. I have a feeling that if he's sending these types of comments/pics now, it's only going to get worse. So if you're feeling turned-off now, I can only imagine how you'll feel if you continue to see this guy. But hey, this is par for the course when it comes to dating - getting to know someone and determining if you're a right match for each other. At this point, I won't be surprised if you cut ties. Doesn't sound like two are a match, tbh. Pay attention and listen to your gut. Clearly you're sensing that something isn't quite right.

 

At the end of the day, it's up to you whether this is something that you can live with, OP. Some women might be okay with it, others not so much.

 

And I think katrina brings up a good point about his behavior showing a lack of respect as well.

 

I'm actually curious to know this guy's age because the fact that he sent you that pic & comment made me cringe. It really does show a lack of maturity.

 

Thank you for your reply

He's 31 and he's got a 12 year old son. He had his son when he was 19 (not planned).

[milly007]

Age doesn't always equal maturity.

 

So true, unfortunately.

[katrina1980]

You must be the only woman who thinks I'm overreacting I'm really confused as to what to do to be honest.. I just thought that I would feel insecure being with him.. Thanks for taking the time to express your point of view :)

 

Chiming in on what TD wrote, I think if a couple both have a crude sense of humor, and wish to exchange crude jokes and pics, that is perfectly fine. Not judging that at all.

 

For me, when in an exclusive relationship where interest and trust has already been established, I can be pretty crude myself! Lol

 

But you are not in an exclusive relationship, in fact there is no relationship, you are barely even dating.

 

So for him to send you that photo this early in, before knowing you or your sense of humor, was just in very poor taste and extemely disrespectful imo.

 

I mean I am imagining myself receiving that from a man I barely knew and I'd have no problem just blocking him after that.

 

Huge turn off.

[Anastasia253]

Age doesn't always equal maturity.

 

.

 

That's true

[Anastasia253]

Chiming in on what TD wrote, I think if a couple both have a crude sense of humor, and wish to exchange crude jokes and pics, that is perfectly fine. Not judging that at all.

 

For me, when in an exclusive relationship where interest and trust has already been established, I can be pretty crude myself! Lol

 

But you are not in an exclusive relationship, in fact there is no relationship, you are barely even dating.

 

So for him to send you that photo this early in, before knowing you or your sense of humor, was just in very poor taste and extemely disrespectful imo.

 

I mean I am imagining myself receiving that from a man I barely knew and I'd have no problem just blocking him after that.

 

Huge turn off.

 

His exact words were, "I was only trying to have a bit of a cheeky joke with you. As I like to go for shock jokes."

We had some cheeky jokes before maybe that's why he thought it would be fine. But that was a bit too much

[figureitout23]

You must be the only woman who thinks I'm overreacting I'm really confused as to what to do to be honest.. I just thought that I would feel insecure being with him.. Thanks for taking the time to express your point of view :)

 

Nope. I’m a woman.

 

Maybe I wouldn’t call your actions overreaction but rather paying attention to the mouse while the elephant in the room suffocates you.

 

This is a red flag but one date a season wasn’t? The Disney princess crude joke wasn't?

 

This is where you’re laying your cross?

 

I don’t get it

 

He likes the pages, not the posts.. All I did was to look at his about info and I saw all these pages he likes.. We're not even friends on FB. His about info is public so everyone can see it.

 

Again paying attention to the mouse.

 

Pages, posts, whatever you didn’t happen upon the info you searched it out.

 

Why?

 

You had plenty of reasons that walk away, but you didn’t, are you actually going to walk after this?

 

I’m not exactly convinced you plan to

[HeartGoesOn]

I'd be questioning the mentality of someone who would send a photo of that sort, especially after it being a mere two dates in. On the other hand, he's likely doing a test drive in order to see your reaction, along with how far he can go with this nonsense.

 

I'd quit while I'm ahead...

[katrina1980]

His exact words were, "I was only trying to have a bit of a cheeky joke with you. As I like to go for shock jokes."

We had some cheeky jokes before maybe that's why he thought it would be fine. But that was a bit too much

 

Oh I have no doubt he was only trying to be cheeky with you, perhaps because of the nature of your previous texts, he assumed you would find it funny which you did!

 

In an earlier post you described it as 'humorous.'

 

So a bit confused now as to what the real issue is; is it the fact he enjoys looking at large breasted women and you have some insecurities about that because you are not large breasted yourself?

 

If so no judgment from me, you have the right to stop dating him for any reason at all, after only two dates in three months, the first of which sucked, you don't even need a reason nor an explanation imo.

 

But if you want to give him the courtesy of one, then ok to send a quick text cancelling Tuesday and telling him you don't think you're the right fit for each other and wish him well.

 

Then block him in case he tries to text, keeping the drama going.

 

To be honest, that is probably what I would do.

[Tinydance]

I think a lot of people here are being a bit naive to think that people are not "into" some sexy ideal look. I bet plenty of men and women like to look at what we call "hot" people. I remember my female best friend and I kept watching this hot guy's YouTube channel who was cute and muscly and he sang and played the guitar. I think a lot of people can like sexy people and follow the page. Some people hide their likes (make private) and some don't because they just didn't think of it for whatever reason. I understand that he's liked a lot of these pages and yes he might have a fetish but a fetish can also be just a sexual fantasy and not their ideal in real life. Let's get real here, who hasn't perved on sexy actors or models and maybe followed their social media? I have. I'm just wondering if some of this is your own insecurity because you don't have huge breasts so you think this guy won't like you? I mean he has sent the Disney princess picture which yes is probably offensive but other than that he's done nothing wrong? There is a difference between him liking certain pages and actually talking to you about it. I've liked lots of pages of hot guy's like Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, male models, guys from The Bachelor, etc. If people don't like it, that's fine. However I'm not liking those pages because I would only date guys that look like that. Yes I think those guys are hot but I'm realistic and I know I won't get guys like that in real life. Everyone I've dated mostly just looked like your average person next door.

[Tinydance]

You must be the only woman who thinks I'm overreacting I'm really confused as to what to do to be honest.. I just thought that I would feel insecure being with him.. Thanks for taking the time to express your point of view :)

 

Well if you don't want to date him then don't, you seem to have your own opinion and you seem to be seeking replies that match the opinion you already made for yourself. That's OK, many people here do that on these forums. However I just think you are a bit naive to think that guys (or people in general) don't enjoy looking at sexy people. He was single so he was free to like those pages, he didn't have any girlfriend that won't like it the way you didn't like it. Guys will often watch big breast women in porn or maybe look up a big breast woman to "spank the monkey" to lol I don't think it really means too much in most cases. Other than that they're visual creatures that like to look at hot women. Who doesn't.

[katrina1980]

Of course people enjoy looking at and even liking pics of those who are hot and sexy, it's called being human, nothing wrong with that whatsoever!!

 

But I think when you first start dating someone, for god's sake exercise some discretion please!

 

It's not necessary to be broadcasting it all over FB, where you know the person you just started dating is bound to see, and then sending such a crass photo with words to match.

 

I'm no prude, but that is in such poor taste and reflects a certain lack of respect, something I personally have no tolerance for so early in.

 

And please let's not invalidate the OP's feelings by calling her naive, she has the right to not like his behaviour and stop dating him without being told she is wrong or naive or being shamed for it.

[Tinydance]

Of course people enjoy looking at and even liking pics of those who are hot and sexy, it's called being human, nothing wrong with that whatsoever!!

 

But I think when you first start dating someone, for god's sake exercise some discretion please!

 

It's not necessary to be broadcasting it all over FB, where you know the person you just started dating is bound to see, and then sending such a crass photo with words to match.

 

I'm no prude, but that is in such poor taste and reflects a certain lack of respect, something I personally have no tolerance for so early in.

 

And please let's not invalidate the OP's feelings by calling her naive, she has the right to not like his behaviour and stop dating him without being told she is wrong or naive or being shamed for it.

 

Yes of course it's fine not to like it but I think there are two different things here. I agree that sending a picture of a Disney princess regarding something about big breasts is crude and over the top after only two dates. However the OP mentioned that they had previously flirted, joked around. What reaction did she give to the previous flirtation and teasing, was it positive or negative? If she responded positively to cheeky flirtation then he may have felt more confident to send something like that? I do agree it was in poor taste. But if she hadn't looked at his Facebook then she wouldn't actually know that he follows those pages. He didn't actually talk about those pages, didn't tell her he followed them.

 

Regarding following the pages, he was a single guy that can do what he wants. He probably was enjoying looking at them for eye candy, pleasure, whatever. I think that aspect does not make him a bad person. He was not making a show of liking those pages TO HER. This was something OP found through Facebook stalking. I guess he probably made a boo boo by not setting his "likes" to private but he probably didn't think of it. It's his page, he can like whatever he wants. There is a difference between liking them on his own personal page and actually saying: "Hey Anastasia, let me tell you about all these big breasted women I follow". It's like everyone here is saying the fact he liked those pages is "poor taste" and he's done something wrong.

 

So is it poor taste to watch The Bachelor for the hot guys or watch Magic Mike for the half naked stripper guys if you're a woman? Does that make the woman a bad person?

[katrina1980]

Ok tiny, fair enough I see your point. :)

 

I agree with FIO, I don't think this is over which is ok too if that's what OP wants.

 

Best of luck whatever you decide OP, and if you choose to see him on Tursday, remain open and honest and most importantly, have fun!

 

That is what these early dates are supposed to be, light and fun!

 

Edit: Never said he was a bad person, no one did.

 

He would not be right for me, not because he likes looking at sexy pics of women, but more for the lack of interest he is displaying by not planning more dates (I mean two dates in three months?) and the crude text he sent.

 

Not for me, my standards are a bit higher.

[SherrySher]

He would not be right for me, not because he likes looking at sexy pics of women, but more for the lack of interest he is displaying by not planning more dates (I mean two dates in three months?) and the crude text he sent.

 

Not for me, my standards are a bit higher.

 

Yes! That's it exactly.

 

Not so much that he's a "bad" guy, but he's not exactly what I would want either with how he behaves. I'd want a better man.

[Hollyj]

My ex was immature and juvenile enough to hang pics of topless, large breasted women on the walls and ceiling of his bedroom like he was living in a frat house. I mean, every inch of wall and ceiling was covered and most of the pics were poster-sized.

 

One would conclude that he was attracted to large breasted women, right? Except, no. I mean, mine aren't tiny but not huge either and yet he cheated on me with and then dumped me for a young woman who is maaayyyybe a 30AA. No visible breasts at all.

 

Turns out he was overcompensating because he's actually closeted and the new (still current) girlfriend is willing to switch roles with him and, um, "do" him anally. And I was unfortunate enough to be told this wonderful bit of information by his sister. Super bad visuals.

 

OP, he's overcompensating IMO. For what, who knows. But if you don't like it and you're only two dates in, why not just stop dating him? Who cares if he agrees or disagrees, YOU decide who you date, not anyone else.

 

He told his sister? Yuck!

[Hollyj]

The guy I was dating who made the loud, crude comments about women's breasts in public was 40 years old at the time. The guy I dated with the nudie posters all over his room was 35 at the time.

 

Age doesn't always equal maturity.

 

Also, yeah, I dated some real winners .

 

You should write book. I think you would have some hilarious stories.

[MirrorKnight]

lol I haven't read this entire thread, but on a quick glance, I am surprised by the amount of judgement over something that I think is quite trivial.

 

Guys are visual creatures, we like good looking girls, that is biology. I personally think it is absurd to feel inadequate if you happen to have smaller boobs than some pictures of girls he liked on Facebook. If his Facebook account is mostly just him and "the lads", it might just be a bit of banter. I remember when I was about 13 or 14, one particular girl in our class (let's call her Rachel) developed really early, and whenever the boys would tease each other about which girl we had a crush on, she kind of became the default answer because she was what we thought we were supposed to like, not because we actually all liked the same girl cos of her huge . I personally had an intense crush on somebody else for 3 years, but I answered "Rachel" too whenever the subject came up. Yes it is immature, but it is pretty harmless, and yes a lot of guys don't really grow up in that particular regard

 

That said, dirty jokes and banter is harmless, but not an actual attitude of objectifying and disrespecting women. If this guy demonstrates from his behaviour that he deems the primary value of a women is her ability to titillate him as a sexual object, then that is toxic masculinity and you want to steer well clear regardless of whether he likes big boobs on women or not.

[Wiseman2]

This in itself indicates that things are far from 'fine". Consider dating other guys and cutting your losses, especially after just a couple of dates. Real men don't "text for months", at least if they are interested. His social media posts are the least of the concerns here.

We've been texting each other for a few months now and everything seems to go fine so far.

[Tinydance]

lol I haven't read this entire thread, but on a quick glance, I am surprised by the amount of judgement over something that I think is quite trivial.

 

Guys are visual creatures, we like good looking girls, that is biology. I personally think it is absurd to feel inadequate if you happen to have smaller boobs than some pictures of girls he liked on Facebook. If his Facebook account is mostly just him and "the lads", it might just be a bit of banter. I remember when I was about 13 or 14, one particular girl in our class (let's call her Rachel) developed really early, and whenever the boys would tease each other about which girl we had a crush on, she kind of became the default answer because she was what we thought we were supposed to like, not because we actually all liked the same girl cos of her huge . I personally had an intense crush on somebody else for 3 years, but I answered "Rachel" too whenever the subject came up. Yes it is immature, but it is pretty harmless, and yes a lot of guys don't really grow up in that particular regard

 

That said, dirty jokes and banter is harmless, but not an actual attitude of objectifying and disrespecting women. If this guy demonstrates from his behaviour that he deems the primary value of a women is her ability to titillate him as a sexual object, then that is toxic masculinity and you want to steer well clear regardless of whether he likes big boobs on women or not.

 

Well, see, I'm a woman and I actually agree with everything you said. I basically said the same things in my posts. I also think that the way she obtained this information was stalking his Facebook profile. Sure we all look at people's Facebook these days but if you obtained this information by stalking it's not the same as if that person was waving it in your face. It's very different.

[Batya33]

lol I haven't read this entire thread, but on a quick glance, I am surprised by the amount of judgement over something that I think is quite trivial.

 

Guys are visual creatures, we like good looking girls, that is biology. I personally think it is absurd to feel inadequate if you happen to have smaller boobs than some pictures of girls he liked on Facebook. If his Facebook account is mostly just him and "the lads", it might just be a bit of banter. I remember when I was about 13 or 14, one particular girl in our class (let's call her Rachel) developed really early, and whenever the boys would tease each other about which girl we had a crush on, she kind of became the default answer because she was what we thought we were supposed to like, not because we actually all liked the same girl cos of her huge . I personally had an intense crush on somebody else for 3 years, but I answered "Rachel" too whenever the subject came up. Yes it is immature, but it is pretty harmless, and yes a lot of guys don't really grow up in that particular regard

 

That said, dirty jokes and banter is harmless, but not an actual attitude of objectifying and disrespecting women. If this guy demonstrates from his behaviour that he deems the primary value of a women is her ability to titillate him as a sexual object, then that is toxic masculinity and you want to steer well clear regardless of whether he likes big boobs on women or not.

 

Yes and it's the actions/reactions to women and their private parts that matters - no one gets a pass to act rude or offensive, I agree. If he's publicly announcing via his FB page (unless his friends are limited to 2 people, etc) that he's going to click on those sorts of things then that says something about his priorities and values. On the other hand if he watches porn once in awhile (meaning not in an obsessive way) in the privacy of his home, fine -that's for her to decide whether that's ok with her and to me anyway that would say absolutely nothing about whether in general he respects women or whether in general he likes women with certain body types. I had a poster of John Stamos on my bedroom wall in the 1980s. I did not think my high school sweetheart should be concerned.

 

Dirty jokes and banter from the second you meet someone is fine if both like that sort of thing. It's unusual for a man who respects women and wants to see if he has something in common with a woman to speak in that way without knowing her well and it raises concerns for me. I had a 4th date with a guy once through an online site who told me he used to frequent strip clubs as part of his sales business (meaning wining and dining clients) and said he didn't go much anymore and didn't consider a lap dance to be "sexual." So I knew that was our last date. Nice guy otherwise and I'd never be ok with someone getting a lap dance at a strip club for any reason while committed to me.

[figureitout23]

It’s not publicly announcing though bat, as I keep reiterating, because the OPer wants to glance over this fact, you have to look for someone’s likes. It’s not blasted on someone’s page, you have to take I think 3 and 4 steps to view someone’s likes.

 

And honestly, like j.man kinda hinted at, many have had Facebook since our early 20’s even teens, before really knowing what this button does, I couldn’t tell you what pages I’ve liked through out the years, I really couldn’t, like j.man I really can’t be bothered to look.

 

Do employers look at social media? Absolutely! But likes on Facebook is absurd, it’s a level of searching that’s reaching. You know how you always hear about old tweet celebs posted years ago? People dig for dirt, have you ever heard of a celebs likes? I know I haven’t, why? In my humble opinion because it’s irrwlevent. It is not like posting on your wall, ‘I like big butts and I cannot lie’ it’s not the same. I do not post my political views on social media, but I like pages that adhere to my views. There’s a difference. Ok sorry rant over, haha. I actually agree that the guy doesn’t sound like a viable candidate I just feel like his facebook likes aren’t the glaringly obvious reason and I doubt the OPer plans to leave over this, it’s just too obvious to me she’s clinging to him like white on rice, again you ignore raunchy jokes said directly to you and dates once every blue moon but his likes are the final straw? Sorry I doubt it.

[Batya33]

It’s not publicly announcing though bat, as I keep reiterating, because the OPer wants to glance over this fact, you have to look for someone’s likes. It’s not blasted on someone’s page, you have to take I think 3 and 4 steps to view someone’s likes.

 

And honestly, like j.man kinda hinted at, many have had Facebook since our early 20’s before really knowing what this button does, I couldn’t tell you what pages I’ve liked through out the years, I really couldn’t, like j.man I really can’t be bothered to look.

 

Do employers look at social media? Absolutely! But likes on Facebook is absurd, it’s a level of searching that’s silly. You know how you always hear about old tweet celebs posted years ago? People dig for dirt, have you ever heard of a celebs likes? I know I haven’t, why? In my humble opinion because it’s irrwlevent. It is not like posting on your wall, ‘I like big buts and I cannot lie’ it’s not the same. I do not post my political views on social media, but I like pages that adhere to my views. There’s a difference. Ok sorry rant over, haha. I actually agree that the guy doesn’t sound like a viable candidate I just feel like his facebook likes aren’t the glaringly obvious reason.

 

OK -reasonable minds can differ. I understand about the distinction. Yes it's different than creating posts with memes about women's breasts, of course. I don't know what I "liked" but I know for sure it is nothing I am concerned about and I looked all that over when I started applying for jobs, plus created even more privacy settings. And I am vigilant about not letting people add me to groups or tag me in a post I am not comfortable with. But that's me and I get that others might not have the same concerns about Facebook. This guy already texted her -after just two dates -about big breasts. So it's not just "likes" He would "like" her to know who he is when it comes to how he expresses his attraction to women. How he expresses being the point -his thoughts and feelings are his own and it's fine if he fantasizes, has a preference, etc. of course.

 

What I find most concerning about your post is how cruel you were to put that old rap song in my head. Sigh. ;-)

[boltnrun]

He told his sister? Yuck!

 

No!!! LOL

 

He and the girlfriend got walked in on by a couple of friends while she was, um, "doing" him. Of course the friends had to tell the world what they saw, including the sister. She then shared that awesome bit of info with me. Ick.