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Hi everyone. I've been on two dates with a guy and we've arranged our third date for Tuesday. We've been texting each other for a few months now and everything seems to go fine so far. However, I checked his Facebook profile and he has liked too many pages of women with very big breasts (some of them way older than him-he's 31). I'm a bit concerned as I feel that I'm not his type and he's much more into these women he follows. For me this is a red flag. Am I overreacting? I would appreciate a guy's opinion as well. TIA

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I wouldn't like it. One page, one like, might be a mistaken click but if that is what he's clicking on it wouldn't be ok with me. Not because I wouldn't be his type. Because I'd find it repulsive that he is clicking on random women in that way and comfortable with others seeing him do it.

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Rule of thumb: if you're coming to the internet about a dude you've been on two dates with, it's best to move on. That's regardless of whether you're being reasonable or insecure.

 

Speaking to the topic, I'll say that I've never gone as far as to "like" models on facebook. However, in today's day and age, it is kinda the equivalent of what was the softcore / swimsuit edition magazine. I wouldn't consider it a tremendous red flag. Additionally, you have zero idea when he "liked" those pages. I've got pages popping up that I "liked" 10 years ago. I've never gone through to unlike them simply because I'm lazy and don't particularly care. Very well could be he liked these women for his spank bank back when he was in college. No way to know.

 

But, again, if you're feeling this doubtful this early, it's probably for the best to explore other options. Or if it's the case you are exceptionally insecure, to stay single a bit while you build your confidence.

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j.man thank you for taking the time to reply. We've been texting each other since March, first date in May, second in August. I've been single for 7 months now. I'm not really sure if the problem is my insecurities or if it is a red flag that he likes these pages. That's why I'm on the internet asking people's advice cause I would like to hear other people's perspectives on that. He sent me a humorous photo today showing Disney's princesses with huge breasts saying that that's his take on how the princesses should be?! Then he said he was joking but he also said that he sent it because he saw it on Facebook while we were talking as we were talking about Disney (I'm a nursery teacher and the subject led to that). I told him that if he just saw that on Facebook while we were talking, it means that he's following too many of these pages (I haven't told him that I've seen his profile). He just said that I'm looking too much into this and that it was just a joke. I told him that I couldn't see a guy like that seriously and he said that it's better to speak about it face to face when we meet on Tuesday. So I don't know what to do. Should I meet him and see what he's got to say or not even bother? Apart from that I really like him

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j.man thank you for taking the time to reply. We've been texting each other since March, first date in May, second in August. I've been single for 7 months now. I'm not really sure if the problem is my insecurities or if it is a red flag that he likes these pages. That's why I'm on the internet asking people's advice cause I would like to hear other people's perspectives on that. He sent me a humorous photo today showing Disney's princesses with huge breasts saying that that's his take on how the princesses should be?! Then he said he was joking but he also said that he sent it because he saw it on Facebook while we were talking as we were talking about Disney (I'm a nursery teacher and the subject led to that). I told him that if he just saw that on Facebook while we were talking, it means that he's following too many of these pages (I haven't told him that I've seen his profile). He just said that I'm looking too much into this and that it was just a joke. I told him that I couldn't see a guy like that seriously and he said that it's better to speak about it face to face when we meet on Tuesday. So I don't know what to do. Should I meet him and see what he's got to say or not even bother? Apart from that I really like him

 

I could be friends with a person with those preferences and who found that humorous but would not want to date him or have him around my family or colleagues because I'd be concerned about what he might speak about. If you find it funny and if you like to share photos of the private parts on men (or semi-private parts lol) you find hot or attractive then you two can joke about that and have that in common. This is what he's sending you after two times meeting you in person and no the texting since March etc doesn't count -he's made time to meet you twice in three months and he thinks it's appropriate to show a lady he's courting photos of big breasts and he enjoys clicking on photos of big breasts and telling his facebook friends this is what he's into.

 

You teach little girls and boys. You probably have a lot of contact with the moms. Imagine him coming to pick you up at school or you're out and run into one of the parents and he jokingly comments on their bodies or thinks she cannot hear him when he comments. But she does. Or he jokes in front of one of your students who is playing with a Disney princess doll, for example. Since he's willing to share his attraction to large breasts with a woman he is trying to impress and get to know for a potential romantic relationship imagine how he might behave in front of your family, coworkers, parents, etc.

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Is he crass about it? Does he make comments in public while you're with him?

 

I used to date a guy who, in a loud voice, would comment "Wow, look at that big t*tted one over there!!!" Or "I like her t*ts!!" Right in front of me.

 

Yeah, I stopped dating him. He was an oaf.

 

Do you fear he will leave you for a woman with large breasts? Do you think large breasts are more important to him than any other attribute (i.e., intelligence, warmth of character, sense of humor, self-sufficiency, talents, etc.)?

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I remember having a lovely conversation with a guy through a dating site - our first phone call after exchanging two emails -and we were talking about the Sex and the City series but not about any sexual details. He took the opportunity to make a comment about Samantha and oral sex even though that had nothing to do with the topic. i was glad in a way he did so I could move on right then. People show you who they are very quickly if you're willing to listen.

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Anastasia I’m sorry but the truth is while analyzing his actions to determine whether or not he’s an admirable man, you’re exhibiting your own red flags.

 

I can’t imagine any instance where I would find it necessary to search the social media likes of a man I’m dating, and I feel the fact that you looked it up and then allowed yourself to go down the rabbit hole even more says so very much more about you than him. I think you allow your insecurities to run your actions way more than they should. If I knew a guy I was seeing for a few months, was investigating my social media instead of getting to know me the natural and normal way... well that would be it for me. Way too telling, I would not want the job of soothing someone’s fragile ego...

 

But ignoring all that, if you don’t want to date a man who likes pages with women with big boobs, you have every right to end it... so end it.

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He sent me a humorous photo today showing Disney's princesses with huge breasts saying that that's his take on how the princesses should be?

 

This...plus him liking all the womens pages, he's obviously into big breasts. Good for him but I would find it seriously unappealing and if you're not big breasted yourself then yes, eventually you're going to feel lacking when it comes to him.

 

He's not the one.

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Is he crass about it? Does he make comments in public while you're with him?

 

I used to date a guy who, in a loud voice, would comment "Wow, look at that big t*tted one over there!!!" Or "I like her t*ts!!" Right in front of me.

 

Yeah, I stopped dating him. He was an oaf.

 

Do you fear he will leave you for a woman with large breasts? Do you think large breasts are more important to him than any other attribute (i.e., intelligence, warmth of character, sense of humor, self-sufficiency, talents, etc.)?

 

 

No, he hasn't said anything in public but we've only been on two dates. I don't know him that well but it seems like it is important to him since he's following that many pages.. It's not just the large breasts, it's the older women as well. I would definitely feel insecure next to him since I know that this is the type of women he likes..

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Anastasia I’m sorry but the truth is while analyzing his actions to determine whether or not he’s an admirable man, you’re exhibiting your own red flags.

 

I can’t imagine any instance where I would find it necessary to search the social media likes of a man I’m dating, and I feel the fact that you looked it up and then allowed yourself to go down the rabbit hole even more says so very much more about you than him. I think you allow your insecurities to run your actions way more than they should. If I knew a guy I was seeing for a few months, was investigating my social media instead of getting to know me the natural and normal way... well that would be it for me. Way too telling, I would not want the job of soothing someone’s fragile ego...

 

But ignoring all that, if you don’t want to date a man who likes pages with women with big boobs, you have every right to end it... so end it.

 

 

Personally, I don't think it's a bad thing to search someone's profile on Facebook.. Yes it's better to get to know someone in person but people often lie and I find it a bit difficult to trust someone especially when I met them through a dating app. But that's your opinion and I respect it. Thank you for taking the time to reply

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I agree with you, Anastasia. We are at a time in our world where we can find more out about who we are dating via Facebook, etc.

 

Why wouldn't you look? It's not doing anyone any harm and it's finding our more information.

 

It makes sense to me. You're right too, people lie, so it does help.

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No, he hasn't said anything in public but we've only been on two dates. I don't know him that well but it seems like it is important to him since he's following that many pages.. It's not just the large breasts, it's the older women as well. I would definitely feel insecure next to him since I know that this is the type of women he likes..

 

So you admit you hardly know him.

 

So, what would you be losing exactly if you stop dating him? Sure, you "like" him, but you can "like" plenty of other men who don't behave the way he does.

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I like j.man's take here. If you've gone on two dates, did a FB deep dive, and are now polling internet strangers about what your digital detective work uncovered—well, all that right there is generally not the beginning of anything worthwhile.

 

While I'm not one to examine someone's digital footprint to make assumptions about their 3D character, were I to learn that a woman I was vaguely interested in followed, I don't know, a bunch of feeds of sweaty male abs I'd just be done. Why? I'd be bored and, frankly, judgmental. That is how you spend your time? It would just be unattractive to me. Too juvenile. Yawn.

 

Honestly, why even bother seeing him again? To see if you can "learn" to be okay with this? If you're someone who believes in doing some social media exploration to better understand a prospect, wouldn't that mean you're also someone who, when you don't like what you find, confidently and securely moves on to someone who "likes" things you're comfortable with?

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While I'm not one to examine someone's digital footprint to make assumptions about their 3D character, were I to learn that a woman I was vaguely interested in followed, I don't know, a bunch of feeds of sweaty male abs I'd just be done. Why? I'd be bored and, frankly, judgmental. That is how you spend your time? It would just be unattractive to me. Too juvenile. Yawn.

 

Heck yeah I spend my time like this. It literally takes seconds, not hours and I have dodged a lot of bad apples doing this.

 

one guy I was dating told me he was shy and kept to himself and hadn't hardly been involved with women for a long time. A quick google search revealed that he was hitting on everyone and everything and being a bit of a perv on top of it.

 

I think it makes sense to look. You can't be too safe these days.

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Heck yeah I spend my time like this. It literally takes seconds, not hours and I have dodged a lot of bad apples doing this.

 

I think he means the time wasted finding pages that feature large breasted women and then "liking" them. Not that doing a social media look see is a waste of time.

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I agree with you, Anastasia. We are at a time in our world where we can find more out about who we are dating via Facebook, etc.

 

Why wouldn't you look? It's not doing anyone any harm and it's finding our more information.

 

It makes sense to me. You're right too, people lie, so it does help.

 

 

Thank you :)

I mean I only saw what he has chosen to be shown in public. It's not like I asked someone to hack his profile.. Even he suggested that I look at his profile when we had that conversation and he said that he has nothing to hide (that's why I don't think he knows that people can see the pages he has liked).

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I think he means the time wasted finding pages that feature large breasted women and then "liking" them. Not that doing a social media look see is a waste of time.

 

Oh, okay.

 

Bottom line is though, this guy get's turned on by big breasted women. If you're not one of them, you're going to feel inadequate around him.

 

Move onto someone else who suits you better.

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