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Hi everyone 😁 So I kinda have a problem. My friend has a boyfriend for a few months now. And we often go out with our other friends to club, parties etc. But this one time everyone had to leave earlier and I was going to sleep at her house so I stayed alone with them. And all the time he was making these weird sexual jokes including me. He even mentioned a threesome a few times. And all that was in front of her. She got a little bit mad but he said that he was 'just joking'. Since then, whenever I go out with them (which is less often) he's making similar jokes, looking at me, commenting on my clothes and it is making me feel SO uncomfortable. I don't want to tell her anything about it bc what if I'm just making a big deal about it. Am I?

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He does want a threesome with you. Failing that, he's happy to cheat on your friend with you. He might even be willing to dump her for you since he's probably a bit bored of her.

 

If you tell your friend about it however, chances are she will blame you for seducing him somehow, even if you are only trying to help.

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Avoid them. He sounds like he's not "just joking"...and a real creep.She knows he's an ass but for some reason she tolerates it. You need to stop hanging out with them.

He even mentioned a threesome a few times. She got a little bit mad but he said that he was 'just joking'. Since then, whenever I go out with them (which is less often) he's making similar jokes, looking at me, commenting on my clothes.
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Don't let any man toy with you like this. You point blank say: I don't find that form of joking funny, so I'm asking you to stop.

 

If your friend asks you to hang out with them, tell her you prefer to do things with her one on one. She already knows he's a jerk and puts up with him so obviously she has a low self esteem. You can either be honest with her or not as far as to why you'd prefer not to be around him. anymore.

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Your friend needs to step up and tell him that is inappropriate. But it sounds like she is not going to, so you need to. Just say "Dude, you are crossing the line. Gross. Don't bring it up again."

If he doesn't stop, I would stop hanging out with them. He sounds like a creep.

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Thank you all so much. I actually did tell him to stop before but he was like "Oh God I'm just teasing you" 🙄 I'll just avoid him even more, and her too if it continues

 

Then respond again, quietly and firmly "I understand that is your opinion. I don't like it. Please stop."

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I'm sorry this is happening. Yes, be more firm and repeat yourself. If you find it's getting too uncomfortable I second limiting your time around them. Be there for your friend and I would be honest with her about his interactions with you. If this is uncomfortable for you, I would imagine it being difficult for her to come to terms that her boyfriend is this way.

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He does want a threesome with you. Failing that, he's happy to cheat on your friend with you. He might even be willing to dump her for you since he's probably a bit bored of her.

 

If you tell your friend about it however, chances are she will blame you for seducing him somehow, even if you are only trying to help.

 

Which is exactly why you should clearly tell him to knock off the BS and stop talking to you that way, Op. If he says he was just teasing you then tell him that you don't give a crap... stop it now or I'll make sure my phone is on record everytime you come near me. Dudes like him don't take politeness as a "no."

 

Hitch up your gurl pants and put this creep in his place. Then, don't go out with your friend again when she is going to be bringing him. If she asks you why, then you can tell her the next time you and her are on a one on one outing. DO NOT mention it over text.

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Thank you all so much. I actually did tell him to stop before but he was like "Oh God I'm just teasing you" 🙄 I'll just avoid him even more, and her too if it continues

 

Then repeat yourself, firmly and with a simple "Stop. I don't appreciate the teasing."

 

Walk away if you need to.

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tell your friend! This has gone on long enough...he's a dbag and no matter what you say to him, he will not stop. That "just jokin" is bs. stop letting him get away with that. You are not making this up, she has witnessed him doing it, she needs to know what he is doing behind her back. And please don't feel guilty...this his is behavior, you are not causing it to happen...it's all him. think about it...would you not want your friend let you know if your BF was doing this to her?

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Yep this is inappropriate and not subtle.

I agree with the rest. Deal with HIM first and give him a chance to clean up.

 

"I don't appreciate and am not amused nor interested in your advances or suggestiveness. If it doens't stop I will no longer be around when you're present, and pretty sure that (friend's name) will ask me why at some point - at which point I will tell her..."

 

Sorry to hear this is happening. Good luck.

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Since your friend already knows what type of boyfriend she has and what he's capable of saying, you need to bow out. Don't go out together with them anymore and keep declining. If she eventually asks you why, tell her the truth. Tell her you're uncomfortable around him with his weird sexual jokes including you, mentions threesomes, leers and ogles you, comments on your clothes and tell her you find this highly inappropriate, creepy and disrespectful. Be honest.

 

Yes, you should make a big deal about it if you're pressed and if she gives you direct questions regarding why you're avoiding them. Either put up and shut up or don't join them and explain your honest reasons if she asks you why you're declining to join them. Those are your two choices.

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