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Hair Style on Dating Profiles


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Hello! Interesting question about hairstyle. Compared to the people I know and see around me and my social networks, at 38 years, my full head of hair is beyond what the other guys I know can even hope for. They're balding, half-balding, thin-haired, etc. Yet, I've heard comments that I should cut my hair shorter. Is this just another example of people being jealous of me or is having a nice full head of hair not cool anymore? I'm proud of my hair, I'm not going to change that for anyone, but I'm curious - is the current style of short hair cuts a result of actual style or is it because men at this age are balding and they must have a short hair style otherwise they don't look good? Thanks!

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Hello! Interesting question about hairstyle. Compared to the people I know and see around me and my social networks, at 38 years, my full head of hair is beyond what the other guys I know can even hope for. They're balding, half-balding, thin-haired, etc. Yet, I've heard comments that I should cut my hair shorter. Is this just another example of people being jealous of me or is having a nice full head of hair not cool anymore? I'm proud of my hair, I'm not going to change that for anyone, but I'm curious - is the current style of short hair cuts a result of actual style or is it because men at this age are balding and they must have a short hair style otherwise they don't look good? Thanks!

Why is it if someone gives you feed back about your hair style, it must be because someone else has issues?

If you like your hair the way it is, then so be it.

Hair styles change along with fashion trends. It's not due to compensating for some sort of insecurity.

Edited by reinventmyself
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Hello! Interesting question about hairstyle. Compared to the people I know and see around me and my social networks, at 38 years, my full head of hair is beyond what the other guys I know can even hope for. They're balding, half-balding, thin-haired, etc. Yet, I've heard comments that I should cut my hair shorter. Is this just another example of people being jealous of me or is having a nice full head of hair not cool anymore? I'm proud of my hair, I'm not going to change that for anyone, but I'm curious - is the current style of short hair cuts a result of actual style or is it because men at this age are balding and they must have a short hair style otherwise they don't look good? Thanks!

 

It sounds like you're genuinely curious about the reactions to your head of hair but your tone can come across as conceited because I think deep down you know you have what others might want or like. You're also not sure why people are making comments towards you for your hair type or the way it grows. I don't sense that you know you sound a little aloof or disconnected.

 

My suggestion is to continue visiting and exploring areas outside your comfort zone and meet different people. You'll come into contact with many more differences and comments about dress, language, style, your thoughts and culture, the list goes on. Your hair differences may be the least of it. If you're interested in hair styles you can look around you at your contemporaries and deduce on your own what the current general trends are. Have you developed your own style for your hair? Maybe it's a good time to celebrate it and pick a style you feel comfortable with rather than just having it lay on top if you're not sure what to do with it.

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Sounds like you enjoy believing others are jealous. Lol. I don’t think so.

 

My 85 year-old father still has a full head of hair. Jealous? Didn’t think so.

 

In fact, on some guys, I love me a bald head.

 

If someone gives you feedback, that’s all it is. As Reinventmyself said, it’s not about them. It’s about you.

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If you have long hair at your age and in this day and age it may not be flattering or current. You may appear like a relic stuck in the past or in your heyday and that can look more dated than anything else. The ponytail look went out decades ago.

 

Get to a good stylist/barber and get a well groomed looking flattering cut. Try to skip the trendy stuff or fads like man buns, etc also. You'll appear more youthful/current when you groom/dress in a manner that's most flattering to you personally and doesn't look dated or too trendy.

I've heard comments that I should cut my hair shorter.
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When more than one person tells you the same thing, maybe you should listen. Sometimes people get frozen in a particular time period whereas they don't change how they dress or wear their hair. I know that when I had my first boyfriend, he brushed his curly hair and it was an unattractive frizz. And then we went swimming and his hair reverted to his natural curl which was so adorable to me and I told him so. He never again brushed his hair. Sometimes another view point can open your eyes that a change might do you good.

 

I know that each person has their own likes and dislikes about their own and other's hairstyles. You're a free agent and can do as you please. I will point out though, that I saw in a magazine a poll of what women thought of male celebrities in photos with a long hairdo versus a short haircut. The overwhelming majority of women preferred the short haircuts. Therefore, if you want to sway for better odds in the difficult world of OLD, perhaps you should consider a shorter haircut if your hair is long.

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There's no way we can make a judgment unless we see how you wear your hair. Some long hair and 'full bodied' head of hair can look unkempt. Is it always in your face? Is it neatly combed and styled? If your friends are suggesting that you cut it, there must be a reason, and I doubt it's out of jealousy.

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Hello! Interesting question about hairstyle. Compared to the people I know and see around me and my social networks, at 38 years, my full head of hair is beyond what the other guys I know can even hope for. They're balding, half-balding, thin-haired, etc. Yet, I've heard comments that I should cut my hair shorter. Is this just another example of people being jealous of me or is having a nice full head of hair not cool anymore? I'm proud of my hair, I'm not going to change that for anyone, but I'm curious - is the current style of short hair cuts a result of actual style or is it because men at this age are balding and they must have a short hair style otherwise they don't look good? Thanks!

 

Huh? My husband did at 38 and beyond -he is 52 and still does. He keeps it short for preference plus professional reasons. No one tells him how to wear his hair and he has great hair, not just all his hair. I had no issue dating men who were bald/balding, whatever but chose not to date men who had long hair (but yes I would be friends with them, etc).

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Thanks for all the replies. It's full bodied, thick, and well brushed. No pony tail or anything like that, but if I were to put a label on it, sure, it's more of an 70's look than it is from today. I looked up famous people who have my hairstyle, and Adam Brody is a good match, to give you reference. Who do I hear this from? Women who are in my social circle where in the majority their husbands and significant others fall into the bald / thinning hair category. Perhaps my circle is so small that I don't have enough of a sample size to make a clear judgement call. Their comments roll in when the topic of relationships come up and they find out that I am single, so they start with their checklists which I don't even ask for. I only ask around if they know anyone single who matches my criteria, but it usually doesn't get to that, it's stops at what they think I should change about myself. I just have difficulty conforming to the latest and greatest norms, because all it takes is some famous Instagram celebrity to make a new trend and here we go, what was terrible yesterday is the greatest today. I'll be bald some day, so while I have it, I'll enjoy it. I'm definitely keeping my hair style. This whole thing seems small, but for me, it's empowering. If everyone starts following the latest and greatest, everyone will eventually look the same. Regarding the jealousy thing, I can't read their minds, I don't know, I guess it could go either way.

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Your title here implied that this had to do with dating profiles, which made me assume a few pixilated women had asked about your hair. Further clarification tells us it's (by and large) your friends' partners who have brought it up. Yet in your original post you assumed it had something to with "another example of people being jealous of me," a choice of wording I'd suggest you read a few times, which implies that you're getting flack from people (likely men?) who long for a full head of hair like yours.

 

Which makes me have to ask: Are a significant number of your friends' wives bald?

 

Yeah, I'm kidding, but to get to a point. You sound awfully touchy, particularly when it comes to how women see you. Seems that if they see something in you that's a smidge different from what you see in the mirror you take it more as a personal offense rather than an observation—maybe astute, maybe not, but just that: an observation. Maybe even one that, if you're open to such glories, could help you see yourself differently, more fully.

 

Can't help but wonder if there's something there worth exploring. Where's this sensitivity come from? Not just that, where does this sense that large numbers of people are regularly jealous of you come from? Do you think those things could maybe, just maybe, be related? One coin, two sides: peacock flashing on one, peacock scuttling about on the other?

 

I've got a lot of hair, thick, pretty dark, and I've got a whopping year of life on you. I've cut my own since I was 18. Style has been pretty consistent: shaggy, whatever-y, perhaps "artsy" or "bohemian" could be deployed if a magazine writer was looking for cheap precision. I've heard it referred to as "cute," "sexy," "unruly," and "wild" by the opposite sex. None of those adjectives land with much oomph for me. It's my hair. Don't give it much thought, and don't care much about what someone thinks of it.

 

Guess I'm just wondering where this hyper-sensitivity comes from, and whether that, more than your Adrian Brody mane, is the source of your angst here. Do you struggle when it comes to not taking women making an observation about you as a personal attack? Do you feel, more generally, that women "have it in" for you?

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I saw a lot of hairstyles for Adam Brody.

 

I seriously doubt that people make comments about your hair due to jealousy. I think that maybe you should listen to these women-they have nothing to gain-if you are looking to date. Perhaps, your look is unkept in appearance and they think you would have more success.

 

I am kind of confused why you created the thread if you have no intention of changing your look.

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Your title here implied that this had to do with dating profiles, which made me assume a few pixilated women had asked about your hair. Further clarification tells us it's (by and large) your friends' partners who have brought it up. Yet in your original post you assumed it had something to with "another example of people being jealous of me," a choice of wording I'd suggest you read a few times, which implies that you're getting flack from people (likely men?) who long for a full head of hair like yours.

 

Which makes me have to ask: Are a significant number of your friends' wives bald?

 

Yeah, I'm kidding, but to get to a point. You sound awfully touchy, particularly when it comes to how women see you. Seems that if they see something in you that's a smidge different from what you see in the mirror you take it more as a personal offense rather than an observation—maybe astute, maybe not, but just that: an observation. Maybe even one that, if you're open to such glories, could help you see yourself differently, more fully.

 

Can't help but wonder if there's something there worth exploring. Where's this sensitivity come from? Not just that, where does this sense that large numbers of people are regularly jealous of you come from? Do you think those things could maybe, just maybe, be related? One coin, two sides: peacock flashing on one, peacock scuttling about on the other?

 

I've got a lot of hair, thick, pretty dark, and I've got a whopping year of life on you. I've cut my own since I was 18. Style has been pretty consistent: shaggy, whatever-y, perhaps "artsy" or "bohemian" could be deployed if a magazine writer was looking for cheap precision. I've heard it referred to as "cute," "sexy," "unruly," and "wild" by the opposite sex. None of those adjectives land with much oomph for me. It's my hair. Don't give it much thought, and don't care much about what someone thinks of it.

 

Guess I'm just wondering where this hyper-sensitivity comes from, and whether that, more than your Adrian Brody mane, is the source of your angst here. Do you struggle when it comes to not taking women making an observation about you as a personal attack? Do you feel, more generally, that women "have it in" for you?

 

You raise good points, the reason why I am so sensitive to other opinions is there is the mantra of "we like you for who you are, just be yourself" which then turns into "but you should do this, that and the other". That's a good coin metaphor, 2 sides to the story. It's not just the hair thing, I've had this happen to me for a very long time. Even at 25, I've had women tell me how nice my arms and calves are, but that stomach, what a disgrace. So I took care of that, and then came the gold and jewelry I like to wear, yuck, that's so gross and conceited. And now the hair lol, so yeah, it's a sequence of events, if it were just the hair, it would be the first strike, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly towards it. I don't feel women have it in for me, and I don't take it as personal attacks, but when I ask around in my social circle about if someone they know is single, and they reply with how I should change, that's not cool.

 

How the dating profile fits in, is I was wondering how the fuller hair would be interpreted.

 

In response to Hollyj, why I created the thread, was because I was curious about the jealousy perspective versus the style perspective. Of course I have no intention of changing, I've been changing to conform to others all my life, everyone's got their stopping point. So ok, the consensus is the chance of jealousy is very low, and it is indeed a matter of style. I accept both. Thanks!

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These women have no tact or class. I would never say those things to a friend.

 

Agreed, I could pick someone apart inside and out if I wanted to, I never have. That's generally good advice, to never give advice on such matters as body image and such unless asked for it.

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You raise good points, the reason why I am so sensitive to other opinions is there is the mantra of "we like you for who you are, just be yourself" which then turns into "but you should do this, that and the other". That's a good coin metaphor, 2 sides to the story. It's not just the hair thing, I've had this happen to me for a very long time. Even at 25, I've had women tell me how nice my arms and calves are, but that stomach, what a disgrace. So I took care of that, and then came the gold and jewelry I like to wear, yuck, that's so gross and conceited. And now the hair lol, so yeah, it's a sequence of events, if it were just the hair, it would be the first strike, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly towards it. I don't feel women have it in for me, and I don't take it as personal attacks, but when I ask around in my social circle about if someone they know is single, and they reply with how I should change, that's not cool.

 

How the dating profile fits in, is I was wondering how the fuller hair would be interpreted.

 

In response to Hollyj, why I created the thread, was because I was curious about the jealousy perspective versus the style perspective. Of course I have no intention of changing, I've been changing to conform to others all my life, everyone's got their stopping point. So ok, the consensus is the chance of jealousy is very low, and it is indeed a matter of style. I accept both. Thanks!

 

Yes, I agree that this is about these people having no tact or class. I think though consider whether you've asked in some way for feedback -it also might be partly a miscommunication.

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You may be better off not asking them about single prospects or dating advice. Don't bring it up. By bringing it up you are opening Pandora's box and inviting all sorts of comments, suggestions, etc. Anyone who brings up the I'm single and looking card will get that. They may also fix you up with any desperate single women they may know which could get quite messy.

 

 

Make your own dating life happen through quality dating apps, social activities such as clubs, groups, classes, courses, volunteering, etc. It's odd these advice-giving women with bald husbands never invite you to parties or social events where you could in fact mingle with more people. Yeah, broaden your circle if bald guys and nosy women are all that's in it. Make some single friends.

Their comments roll in when the topic of relationships come up and they find out that I am single. I only ask around if they know anyone single who matches my criteria.
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You raise good points, the reason why I am so sensitive to other opinions is there is the mantra of "we like you for who you are, just be yourself" which then turns into "but you should do this, that and the other". That's a good coin metaphor, 2 sides to the story. It's not just the hair thing, I've had this happen to me for a very long time. Even at 25, I've had women tell me how nice my arms and calves are, but that stomach, what a disgrace. So I took care of that, and then came the gold and jewelry I like to wear, yuck, that's so gross and conceited. And now the hair lol, so yeah, it's a sequence of events, if it were just the hair, it would be the first strike, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly towards it. I don't feel women have it in for me, and I don't take it as personal attacks, but when I ask around in my social circle about if someone they know is single, and they reply with how I should change, that's not cool.

 

How the dating profile fits in, is I was wondering how the fuller hair would be interpreted.

 

Is this the actual language being used by women you know? Did they point at your stomach and say, "What a disgrace!"? Did they point at your jewelry and say, "Yuck! Conceited!"? If so, if this is your social circle, I'd consider expanding. I'd also question why you'd want such people to set you up with anyone they know, since odds are high that you'll be set up with someone who is, well, pretty awful.

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