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Why are you all so bitter?


shesmaudlin
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Is it me or are the platinum members on this site super bitter? It’s like I posted on some forums to get advice and it seems that everyone is more attacking me instead I giving me advice in at least a nicer manner. I haven’t even had room to tell my entire story nor do I ever post daily updates, I post only what I wanted advice on and I’m being painted and made out to look like I’m crazy af or extremely delusional. And everyone is under the impression that I wanted a relationship with the guy I was talking which I never stated in any of my posts. Idk you guys come off as rude rather than helpful, I don’t appreciate it. The posts specifically telling me to seek a therapist and that I had a fantasy going on in my head.

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Well that’s a very accusatory tone first off, so it’s kinda kettle meet pot, and I responded to one of your posts, I didn’t see ‘everyone’ laying it on you,but I digress.

 

We all have different advice styles.

 

Some are much more fluffy and soft others are more rough and to the point.

 

Unfortunately at the end of the day we don’t get to choose what advice we receive. Ironically it’s often the brutally honest advice that helps you get out of a stuck mindset. For example your situation, I’ve been there with FWB, my friends would kinda placate me, oh yeah maybe he wants more, oh maybe this means this or that, but that wasn’t reality they were being nice because they cared about me, sometimes it takes unbiased advice to kinda help you face a not so pretty reality.

 

Also, many times others will see what you don’t and it takes getting that outside view.

 

I personally do not think your situation is completely hopeless and while I think most would benefit from therapy, I don’t think you need to check yourself in or anything, I think you find comfort in the unknown because deep down it’s safe, you don’t have to be told ‘no’ if you stay in the grey, but staying in the Grey keeps you stuck and hurting. So. This is another example of ripping the bandaid off being what’s best for you. Again I don’t think we can tell you with absolutel certainty anything you have communicate but for whatever reason. You would rather walk away than ask....

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There's a difference between what you want to hear, and what you need to hear (in reference to your questions/concerns. If everyone replied with a coating of sugar, how would you see that as being helpful?

 

As they say, "the truth will set you free" therefore why not give it a shot?

Edited by HeartGoesOn
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Is it me or are the platinum members on this site super bitter? It’s like I posted on some forums to get advice and it seems that everyone is more attacking me instead I giving me advice in at least a nicer manner. I haven’t even had room to tell my entire story nor do I ever post daily updates, I post only what I wanted advice on and I’m being painted and made out to look like I’m crazy af or extremely delusional. And everyone is under the impression that I wanted a relationship with the guy I was talking which I never stated in any of my posts. Idk you guys come off as rude rather than helpful, I don’t appreciate it. The posts specifically telling me to seek a therapist and that I had a fantasy going on in my head.

 

Feeling bitter, might delete this later IDK

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Is it me or are the platinum members on this site super bitter? It’s like I posted on some forums to get advice and it seems that everyone is more attacking me instead I giving me advice in at least a nicer manner. I haven’t even had room to tell my entire story nor do I ever post daily updates, I post only what I wanted advice on and I’m being painted and made out to look like I’m crazy af or extremely delusional. And everyone is under the impression that I wanted a relationship with the guy I was talking which I never stated in any of my posts. Idk you guys come off as rude rather than helpful, I don’t appreciate it. The posts specifically telling me to seek a therapist and that I had a fantasy going on in my head.

 

I know what you are talking about. I have seen it myself and it can be cringeworthy. When you are seeking help, I am sure it is worse than that.

 

As others have said, people react from their own experiences. Oftentimes, they get stuck there. So, it's a waste of time to argue.

 

My suggestion to you is stick to the forums that you find most helpful. Don't subject yourself to punishment, especially when you are in need of help.

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I don't think it's that people are bitter, it's just that they don't know you. They are taking one instance of your life and who you are out of context, because that's all they have to go on in this type of a setting. I think most of them mean well and are trying to help but are limited in what they can do due to the nature of the method of communication being used. My personal experience here after spending some time is I ended up feeling like I was in a touchy-feely echo chamber. Hence, I moved on. I do check back in here on very rare occasions out of I guess what you could call morbid curiosity, but I honestly feel you will get better advice if you ask it from people who at least know something about you as opposed to random anonymous strangers in the general public. Then again there may very well be people on this forum who were helped by it, but that wasn't my experience. Just my .02

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