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shesmaudlin
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So in regards to my last few posts I just want to say that I regret pretty much everything that’s happened with this guy. Judging from the comments on these threads it’s clear and obvious that he doesn’t really give two s about me and he just wants me for my body (which he can’t even have anymore at this time cuz I live far lmao) it sucks because I really caught feelings for the dude because of how sweet he used to be and the fact that he even continued talking to me at all which he didn’t really have to do, because there’s nothing in it for him besides pics of everything he’s pretty much already seen (during sex and we’ve sent each other nudes way before and after) I’ve wanted to send him long paragraphs cutting our losses and telling him how I had fun the last time I saw him and the sex was great but that I already get it’s not gonna happen again but I don’t want to waste my time if he really isn’t going to care or have a real conversation with me. I guess the best way to go about this is to just ghost him completely, which should be easy since I removed him from social media and we’ve only texted and FaceTimed. I’ll probably end up either ignoring or blocking his number (a bit dramatic) honestly the only thing I’m having trouble with is really how to move on from this because I’m truly stuck and I don’t want to be anymore... I cringe now at every memory from the nights I spent with him a few months ago.... I don’t want to cringe, I want to smile about it. It’s a cringeworthy thought now to think it’s been all fake this entire time. I really felt okay like it was fine to do what I did at the time but now I’m really questioning my own judgment and wondering why I thought it would be okay to do any of that. I really wanted to see him again because I missed my friend and I also missed kissing him, but I don’t think it’d be a good idea to continue speaking with him, as I see everyone’s made it clear he is playing me. Thanks for reading my rant, and thanks for the advice.

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"Is he just playing a game or was he just flirting?

So I sent a text saying “hey I just wanted to say that I love you! That is all.” With a heart emoji at the end to the guy I talked about in my last thread. It was copied and pasted from a text I had sent to a friend. I wanted to see his reaction to it, see if he would ignore it or say it back or if he’d maybe change the subject quickly. He replied with “poop” and “thought I replied lol” (referring to the last text I sent him) so I just said “disregard that last message” (the one where I said I love you) and he said “no lol” and then he replied with “I love you more” I was a little bit shook and I sent a heart and said “just felt like giving my love lol. Sorry if I’m weird.” Then “wyd” and then he goes “waiting for you to send a pic of that ass” with a smiley face. Was feeling a little relieved about his text before until he said that, then I’m just like welp. 🙄 (yes we are in our 20s so I know how childish this sounds) would you say something like that after telling someone you love them? Like he figured “hey I did her a favor and said it back, send me nudes?” Idk bruh I’m confused lol"

 

You sent this, this morning. UGH!

 

He does not love/like you or respect you.

 

Damn! How much does this guy have to disrespect you, for you to move on? Please seek a therapist.

 

And, don't send any more nudes to men, unless you want the world to see.

Edited by Hollyj
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It seems you like him a lot and you're trying to get his attention. Try not to say things just to get a reaction out of someone. It comes across as insincere and what you'll get back are insincere answers (like above, post #5 - his reaction to you was insincere).

 

You're coming down from all this now and realizing he's not the one for you. It's not a big deal. Just let it go and don't antagonize the situation. Grow out of this experience and get to know new people, meet new people in your life. The problem with staying stuck in one situation is that you're spending the majority of your time in one phase. This doesn't help you move forwards or grow.

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"Is he just playing a game or was he just flirting?

So I sent a text saying “hey I just wanted to say that I love you! That is all.” With a heart emoji at the end to the guy I talked about in my last thread. It was copied and pasted from a text I had sent to a friend. I wanted to see his reaction to it, see if he would ignore it or say it back or if he’d maybe change the subject quickly. He replied with “poop” and “thought I replied lol” (referring to the last text I sent him) so I just said “disregard that last message” (the one where I said I love you) and he said “no lol” and then he replied with “I love you more” I was a little bit shook and I sent a heart and said “just felt like giving my love lol. Sorry if I’m weird.” Then “wyd” and then he goes “waiting for you to send a pic of that ass” with a smiley face. Was feeling a little relieved about his text before until he said that, then I’m just like welp. 🙄 (yes we are in our 20s so I know how childish this sounds) would you say something like that after telling someone you love them? Like he figured “hey I did her a favor and said it back, send me nudes?” Idk bruh I’m confused lol"

 

You sent this, this morning. UGH!

 

He does not love/like you or respect you.

 

Damn! How much does this guy have to disrespect you, for you to move on? Please seek a therapist.

 

And, don't send any more nudes to men, unless you want the world to see.

 

Yeah, I am seriously confused, you sent the above bolded quote after you created this thread saying you were done and cutting him off.

 

Maudlin, what's going on?

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You can choose to look at it differently. You put yourself out there and you made an attempt to be vulnerable with someone. That's a pretty brave thing to do. Unfortunately he showed you he's not looking for the same thing you are. So, now you know. It happens.

 

Now you have the opportunity to act on your own behalf and take care of yourself.

That's a moment of growth and maturity.

 

You've made the decision that this guy is no longer worthy and you've decided to move forward and put this behind you. I get it's a little disappointing but I think you should give yourself some credit here, learn from this and not be so hard on yourself.

 

Trust that you'll do it differently next time. Shake it off.

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He's not playing you if you willingly exchanged nudes, sexted and visited him for hookups.

 

Sadly, she really cares about this guy, and thinks she can get him through nudes and booty call on delivery. She has allowed herself to be disrespected.

Edited by Hollyj
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That bit where you told me to please seek a therapist was totally unnecessary and uncalled for. I don’t appreciate it, I came to this forum asking for advice on this situation and you unfortunately don’t know the whole story. And you don’t know whether I’m seeking help from a therapist already or not. No I’m not on this site seeking mental health help, of course that’s something for a therapist outside of the internet to deal with. And I didn’t appreciate that comment you made about me sending nudes for attention because I never did any of that for him to start caring for me or whatever it was you said. So again, thanks for those kind words!

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Why are you getting so defensive? There is nothing wrong with seeking therapy, and I only suggested it so you could move on. Damn!

 

Sending nude pics to someone who is basically a booty call is not smart. Why do you do this? I would not send nude pics to anyone! You do not know where they will end up.

 

Also, you are very attached to someone where the relationship is purely sexual from his side. From what you have written, he is clearly only interested in sex, and seems quite disrespectful.

 

You are not showing yourself much self love. If this were your sister or best friend, how would you have advised them?

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Holly I agree with everything you have posted, and I think maudlin's reaction now to all these posts is coming from a place of extreme "hurt."

 

It's now finally sinking in that guy doesn't give a * and that hurts. A lot.

 

Her anger at you and others is misplaced imo, which is pretty standard i have experienced it myself at times.

 

I'm sorry maudlin, I just said this in another thread, but that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

 

Despite the pain you're feeling now, this is a great learning experience.

 

You will be okay, and be stronger for having experienced it.

 

I promise you that.

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Holly I agree with everything you have posted, and I think maudlin's reaction now to all these posts is coming from a place of extreme "hurt."

 

It's now finally sinking in that guy doesn't give a * and that hurts. A lot.

 

Her anger at you and others is misplaced imo, which is pretty standard i have experienced it myself at times.

 

I'm sorry maudlin, I just said this in another thread, but that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

 

Despite the pain you're feeling now, this is a great learning experience.

 

You will be okay, and be stronger for having experienced it.

 

I promise you that.

 

Thank you, Hun.

 

I agree with you. It is always easier to misdirect the anger than acknowledge the truth- been there, done that. But, the truth does set one free. Hopefully sooner, than later.

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Whenever I make mistakes, I find it helpful to ask myself whether I want to view this through a lens of shame or resilience. When I opt for resilience, I'm able to take valuable lessons from my mistake in order to build confidence in my own future judgment as I move forward. Shame wouldn't buy me that, it would just keep me locked in stagnation and I drill a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

So, consider the same question and make it a private goal to surprises yourself with your resilience and ability to bounce back from this without causing yourself unnecessary harm.

 

Another question I like to ask myself is, "If I'm not on my own side, who will be?" I don't see the point in putting myself down when I can opt instead to normalize my bumps in the road as something everyone must learn how to navigate.

 

Head high, and decide whether you intend to have a good future, or a fabulous future. Then move forward to make it true.

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