The Non-Texter...Is he interested?

[abitbroken]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I should add that this is the first guy that I've had multiple dates with since getting out of a 3-year relationship...so kind of new to the dating scene again. I have not been texting him..just reached out once last night to see how he was doing with all of the stuff he had to get done. Haven't texted him at all today, and will let him reach out to me when he's ready. I definitely don't text him much...I was just curious on everyone's opinions of it. Thanks for all of the advice!!!

 

Then (responding to the bolded) why do you expect him to text back much. If you want to know how he is, just CALL him. Suggest plans for an additional date. If you have gone out two or three times, that's what i would do. Its not clingy to call a day or two after a date to suggest another date. Because at a certain point, a guy may be wondering why a woman seems interest but she hasn't started to initiate with him after he asked her on a few dates

[Honeycomb8]

That's enough dates lol and don't call him after two dates...It comes off extremely eager.

[Batya33]

Then (responding to the bolded) why do you expect him to text back much. If you want to know how he is, just CALL him. Suggest plans for an additional date. If you have gone out two or three times, that's what i would do. Its not clingy to call a day or two after a date to suggest another date. Because at a certain point, a guy may be wondering why a woman seems interest but she hasn't started to initiate with him after he asked her on a few dates

 

I agree and especially if you two have had sex -it kind of changes the "courting" dynamic a bit. You know he doesn't like texting so I'm not sure why you texted him and why you needed to know how he was doing (if an emergency or he was very sick/caring for an ill family member, sure!) - honestly at this stage it's unusual even to know those kind of details about "busy day" - let his best friend or his mom check in with him on small stuff like that -don't act too wifey IMO.

[j.man]

I get the feeling the guy's fine with texting to secure another date, and that it's not necessary to rather call. Not saying OP by any means can't or shouldn't, but just that she should bear in mind he could be equally apathetic to chit-chatting between dates. I'd accept that he most likely puts most or all his stake in their face-to-face time together.

 

I'd also add that if texting really is a priority for you, OP, you're probably shooting yourself in the foot going for guys 15 years your senior. Honestly, even people our age (33) tend to gravitate exclusively to the efficiency factor of texting rather than the social. I'd go cougar-lite mode and hit up the campus if you really desire a dude who keeps his thumbs busy.

 

And try not to fall back on excuses like how long it's been since your last relationship. You've got interpersonal common sense enough to rationally connect the dots regardless. Keep yourself busy and try not to overly invest in people who are essentially strangers.

[figureitout23]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I should add that this is the first guy that I've had multiple dates with since getting out of a 3-year relationship...so kind of new to the dating scene again. I have not been texting him..just reached out once last night to see how he was doing with all of the stuff he had to get done. Haven't texted him at all today, and will let him reach out to me when he's ready. I definitely don't text him much...I was just curious on everyone's opinions of it. Thanks for all of the advice!!!

 

Thanks for the added info it helps.

 

Your last relationship started around 2017 so for it to be 3 years it had to have ended quite recently.

 

You could possibly be rebounding right now, which would explain the instant attachment you’re attempting to gain. Also that last relationship went at warp speed where you two were living together after only

6 months and you inserted yourself into his life, it seems maybe you are wanting more of the same. Relationships that start off at warp speed tend to burn out just as fast. Something to also keep mindful about.