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I'm bipolar on disability with no job or school, can't handle a whole lot of tasks. I get overwhelmed easily. And I'm an isolated mess. I've checked facebook groups, meetups, nami groups (support groups). My emotional hunger is huge. My repression is huge. I wonder if this happens a lot on disability. I live at home with my mom and get no privacy either. My hobbies are swimming, kayaking, reading and writing. However I like to be alone for these. I'm a natural introvert. A loner as it is. Now, a hermit. I've had to figure out how to rebuild my life. And it's not working. The friends I do have live in other states and have jobs, have lives, are busy.

 

Anything else I could be doing? Sigh. Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me.

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Can you elaborate on how you can't handle a lot of tasks? It seems that kayaking requires a lot of multi-tasking, and if you enjoy reading and writing, then you don't have problems focusing.

 

Perhaps a part-time job would help you to overcome your introversion and be good for you.

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I think that your not wanting to work is the real issue here. Do you think there's a part of you that enjoys playing the victim? Lots of people have anxiety about work, but they don't just stay home collecting a government check.

 

I'm sure that there are many jobs that you could do that don't require a lot of multi-tasking, but as long as you aren't willing to get out of your bubble, there's not much anyone can do for you.

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I think that your not wanting to work is the real issue here. Do you think there's a part of you that enjoys playing the victim? Lots of people have anxiety about work, but they don't just stay home collecting a government check.

 

I'm sure that there are many jobs that you could do that don't require a lot of multi-tasking, but as long as you aren't willing to get out of your bubble, there's not much anyone can do for you.

 

I'm not ready to work. I'm trying a new medication for my bipolar. I would say in a year or so I'd be willing again.

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May I ask, do you live in a city or a more rural area?

 

I'm a big fan of community centers, but I'm a bit bias there as I spent a lot of time volunteering and using them. There are so many resources there though! Some people go to church ( and maybe that's an attractive option for you?) for community connection and support, and community centers fill that need for others for inclusion.

 

I've got lots of ideas but wondering what you community is like first?

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I'll stop by mine (I have before) to check out community center. I live in a town.I found volunteering by me but it's animals (I love animals but am scared of being bitten or attacked, I know) or hospice work which I don't think I would want to do right now or have the tools to handle. I do write for a website. But it's isolating. I found a facebook group AND opened up on my personal facebook on my bipolar disorder and why I haven't been in touch with people. I got likes, not many comments. I see the people w ho support me.

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I'll stop by mine (I have before) to check out community center. I live in a town.I found volunteering by me but it's animals (I love animals but am scared of being bitten or attacked, I know) or hospice work which I don't think I would want to do right now or have the tools to handle. I do write for a website. But it's isolating. I found a facebook group AND opened up on my personal facebook on my bipolar disorder and why I haven't been in touch with people. I got likes, not many comments. I see the people w ho support me.

 

Would it be possible for you to volunteer as a foster parent for cat or dog rescues? Or other animal rescues?

 

Before my beloved Golden Retriever passed away this year, she was woman's best friend after my other BFF, a childhood friend who fortunately remains local to my geography. I really connected with my great dog who was so quiet, calm, supremely intelligent, extremely well behaved and exercised self control to the likes I had never seen which puts humans to shame. She was the highest caliber akin to a 'Guide Dog' for the blind or disabled. She graced me with her devoted life.

 

I know a lot of people respect dogs (or cats or other animals) more than people because unlike humans, they're predictable, give you loyalty and unconditional love like no other on this planet. A lot of people are not into people yet they connect on an intrinsic, inherent level with their pets. They have a soul and even though they can't talk to you, both of you understand each other intuitively. It's magical.

 

I hope you can find this type of bond which is beautiful.

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Try not to let the self-defeating thoughts get the better of you. I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to connect with people and deal with the emptiness and loneliness within. I definitely found having a very strong spiritual connection helped.... exploring different options until I found one that worked for me... as well as walking through my fear bit by bit and opening up, as you have, so that I could not only connect with others but allow them to connect with me.

 

That said, you need to learn to self-soothe to a degree and not expect friends to make you feel better or to help you fill the void... friendships need to be reciprocal and based on positive values that you can both give and receive. Friends will become overwhelmed very quickly if they feel they are being expected to just be a sounding board all the time.

 

Sounds like this spiritual group might be a positive way for you to learn some tools to help you feel more uplifted, connected, and fulfilled... I hope it goes well!

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I'd be careful not to evaluate every prospect for growth as something that must 'feel good' or necessarily be fun when you first try it out. I'd make a list of the things that I love to do, and then I'd consider those activities as my rewards for each baby step I take toward stretching myself beyond my comforts.

 

The reason for this is that the more you cater to limitations, the more those will expand until your world becomes so small, you're trapped inside a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

Instead, I'd consider each stretch as something to be celebrated and pursued again, no matter how much anxiety was involved or no matter how uninspiring the experience. Growth involves growing into new experiences. Cutting those off whenever they don't bring insta-happiness would be the biggest mistake I'd avoid.

 

Sometimes we need to move ourselves out of our own way in order to focus on making someone else's life a bit easier or more pleasurable, and in doing so, we end up gaining a sense of pride and value that is cumulative over time. So I'd invest in something meaningful to me as my election to be of service beyond myself, and sometimes that just involves showing up for someone else. Each time I do that, I'd indulge in a reward.

 

I'd confide in my therapist, a family member or a friend to keep me accountable in showing up for my commitments, and I'd build some structure into my life. Consider that even people who love their jobs don't necessarily feel thrilled on Monday mornings while making the transition from weekend time to work time. I'd use that mindset to keep myself on track to perform the 'work' of expanding my commitments and showing up for those.

 

Healing isn't something that happens 'to' us, it requires our participation. Decide how you'll want to work yours, and make yourself proud.

 

Head high.

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Would it be possible for you to volunteer as a foster parent for cat or dog rescues? Or other animal rescues?

 

Before my beloved Golden Retriever passed away this year, she was woman's best friend after my other BFF, a childhood friend who fortunately remains local to my geography. I really connected with my great dog who was so quiet, calm, supremely intelligent, extremely well behaved and exercised self control to the likes I had never seen which puts humans to shame. She was the highest caliber akin to a 'Guide Dog' for the blind or disabled. She graced me with her devoted life.

 

I know a lot of people respect dogs (or cats or other animals) more than people because unlike humans, they're predictable, give you loyalty and unconditional love like no other on this planet. A lot of people are not into people yet they connect on an intrinsic, inherent level with their pets. They have a soul and even though they can't talk to you, both of you understand each other intuitively. It's magical.

 

I hope you can find this type of bond which is beautiful.

 

Hi there, I do have a dog already and wouldn't want to foster anymore because she is a jealous dog lol. Pekingese. And I am actually watching a neighbor's dog who is a ball of energy and very exhausting lol. But I will keep this in mind.

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I am trying to be a better self soother. I worry a lot. I do have a therapist where I get to vent but it's not the same as a friend. I am enjoying conversations on spirituality in this new group on facebook. I agree spirituality is a great thing to hold onto.

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I'd be careful not to evaluate every prospect for growth as something that must 'feel good' or necessarily be fun when you first try it out. I'd make a list of the things that I love to do, and then I'd consider those activities as my rewards for each baby step I take toward stretching myself beyond my comforts.

 

The reason for this is that the more you cater to limitations, the more those will expand until your world becomes so small, you're trapped inside a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

Instead, I'd consider each stretch as something to be celebrated and pursued again, no matter how much anxiety was involved or no matter how uninspiring the experience. Growth involves growing into new experiences. Cutting those off whenever they don't bring insta-happiness would be the biggest mistake I'd avoid.

 

Sometimes we need to move ourselves out of our own way in order to focus on making someone else's life a bit easier or more pleasurable, and in doing so, we end up gaining a sense of pride and value that is cumulative over time. So I'd invest in something meaningful to me as my election to be of service beyond myself, and sometimes that just involves showing up for someone else. Each time I do that, I'd indulge in a reward.

 

I'd confide in my therapist, a family member or a friend to keep me accountable in showing up for my commitments, and I'd build some structure into my life. Consider that even people who love their jobs don't necessarily feel thrilled on Monday mornings while making the transition from weekend time to work time. I'd use that mindset to keep myself on track to perform the 'work' of expanding my commitments and showing up for those.

 

Healing isn't something that happens 'to' us, it requires our participation. Decide how you'll want to work yours, and make yourself proud.

 

Head high.

 

thanks! I think I do chores and things like that and even writing can be a difficult task to overcome so I am def agreeing with you.

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thanks! I think I do chores and things like that and even writing can be a difficult task to overcome so I am def agreeing with you.

 

Naaah, chores don't count. If you were living on your own, you'd need to do them--they're a minimum requirement of adult life. Writing is solitary. I'm speaking in terms of putting yourself out for somebody or something beyond your Self.

 

It's smart to anticipate that you may not 'like' this. That's okay. The goal is to keep stretching yourself beyond comfort. You're already feeling the dullness that comes from isolation. As you grow older, that won't get better, it will get worse unless you push yourself to engage in stuff that doesn't cater to your own comfort, and while that 'can' be pursuit of something fun, if you can include service to your neighbors or neighborhood, a cause that you believe in, a kindness to someone else--even a stranger--then you'll be building the emotional musculature to thrive rather than shrivel.

 

You're far too young to shrivel. If you avoid allowing your current limitations to progress, you will thank yourself later. If you keep yourself comfortable in isolation instead, you'll amplify your discomfort with the simplest of outside tasks, and you'll drill yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

I'd start climbing now, instead. Make it a private goal to surprise yourself with your resilience, and to reward yourself regularly for your efforts.

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Naaah, chores don't count. If you were living on your own, you'd need to do them--they're a minimum requirement of adult life. Writing is solitary. I'm speaking in terms of putting yourself out for somebody or something beyond your Self.

 

It's smart to anticipate that you may not 'like' this. That's okay. The goal is to keep stretching yourself beyond comfort. You're already feeling the dullness that comes from isolation. As you grow older, that won't get better, it will get worse unless you push yourself to engage in stuff that doesn't cater to your own comfort, and while that 'can' be pursuit of something fun, if you can include service to your neighbors or neighborhood, a cause that you believe in, a kindness to someone else--even a stranger--then you'll be building the emotional musculature to thrive rather than shrivel.

 

You're far too young to shrivel. If you avoid allowing your current limitations to progress, you will thank yourself later. If you keep yourself comfortable in isolation instead, you'll amplify your discomfort with the simplest of outside tasks, and you'll drill yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

I'd start climbing now, instead. Make it a private goal to surprise yourself with your resilience, and to reward yourself regularly for your efforts.

 

That's what I'm all about.

 

lol thanks again.

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