Jump to content

Recommended Posts

My ex-bf of 2 years broke up with me through text 2 weeks ago and then cut all contact and ghosted me out of the blue. I spammed his inbox, voicemails and all that jazz because you know -- emotional breakdown. I sent him a letter apologizing for all that though because that was really immature. I think it's also important to mention the difference in our emotions. He is extremely sensitive and emotional so things might hit him harder. I am less of that so I personally started feeling okay again after 3 days.

 

I ran into him recently and tried to get him to talk to me. Although he hesitated and said it was too soon to talk, I manage to get a small conversation out of him. We caught up a little bit and exchanged smiles. In the same convo, I asked him if he could meet up for the last time before we part ways and go truly no contact (for several months or up to a year to focus on ourselves and heal). I wanted to exchange kind words and well wishes before we go. We had to go soon so I asked him if he could unblock my number and call me the next day to talk more about it.

 

The next morning, he called and we caught up more on the phone. We asked how each other were doing after the breakup and if we were okay. He appeared to be doing worse than me because he's naturally more sensitive and emotional. We talked about what was going on in our lives during the time we had no contact and laughed here and there about things. We set up a day and time to meet and then ended the phone conversation with good lucks to each other (for work and school). It was overall very friendly and upbeat.

 

Literally the next day at 3am, he texts me telling me to give him back his stuff on the day we planned to meet and that we won't ever meet again. Clearly something is bothering him very much ,and I don't know exactly what is going on in his mind that he would text at 3am, which is very unusual for him. I responded when I woke up asking for clarity because he did a 180 on me.

Throughout the day, he texts: "We're not going to be able to move on and heal until everything is over," "How can I move on if I'm still in contact with my ex?" "It's better this way for the both of us so this need to be taken care of soon," "I can't see keep seeings things coming from you in form of texts and stuff and being reminded of what was. It's too much." I told him to calm down and that I will hand him his stuff back the day we meet.

 

The next day after that, he said, "Let's not meet. Just drop off my stuff in front of the door and that's it." I told him I will do so on the same day we were supposed to meet because that's actually the only time I can go to his house.

 

2 days later, he tells me "You have 72 hours to do it or my dad will have to take care of it himself." I was thinking to myself what the is wrong with him?? Why is he so nasty like that? I didn't say or do anything that would warrant such nastiness at that time. I didn't even talk to him during the days in between either. I only reminded him once more that I will on so and so day that I've said many times before. I didn't say anything more because I wasn't going to engage in that nastiness. I seriously don't know what has gotten into his head.

 

Overall, I was very taken back by his sudden change in attitude as the days passed while I have not engaged with him at all or a whole lot; except for the 2 conversations we had when I was able to reach out to him. I already have dropped off his stuff and rang the doorbell. I left him a note telling him to not talk to me or anything. I didn't want to engage with such a mean person and didn't want to hear any of it. He's normally a very sweet and caring person so this behavior is shocking to me. I know he's probably still very emotional right now and probably acting on his emotions so he's going to need a lot of cooling down. What in the hell was he thinking throughout all of this though? The dude did a 180.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The new girl he's dating probably found out he was planning to meet up with you and told him to choose, you or her.

 

Yeah, you probably don't think he's seeing someone else, but none of us who got broken up with via text or email thought so either, until we found out from mutual friends or social media.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Uhh really? I don't think so. That's so out of character for him. I know everything that goes on in his life including who he talks to so I highly doubt that. I forgot to mention how I had PMS and got a bit angry and lashed out at him the couple days before he broke up with me

Link to post
Share on other sites

What do you want us to say?

 

Cause as leading as your post is, you asked a question as if you wanted our opinions

 

And when given you turn down the advice...

 

I personally don’t see why it matters, he’s an ex, exes don’t have to be friends or cordial, I think what he did was the mature thing, what you were attempting to do was leave the door open for reconciliation. Should he have been mean? No, did he owe you kindness, not necessarily, so I don’t think it’s something to lose sleep over.

Link to post
Share on other sites

May I ask how old you guys are?

 

A little something that I remind myself of in these moments is that everyone flails following a breakup. Everyone. We just flail in different ways. Some flail into yoga, others into swiping right. Some flail into spirituality, others into shots of whiskey. Some flail in mature closure talks, others flail by doing 180s. It's all kind of the same, at least for the first month.

 

Point being, trying to decipher this is a fool's errand. His mode of ending a two year relationship—a text, then ghosting—is the mode of a dude who was already flailing pretty hard in an unremarkable way. Whatever led him on that path, it's his to walk now, not yours to try to map out. You'll just get dizzy, confused.

 

My ex did some similar things when we broke up. Two sweet texts, followed by a sour avalanche. She'd want to meet and talk, then she'd want nothing more than her grandmother's pot which had been collecting dust in my garage for years. I left the pot at her door—the last physical remnants of our time together—and she responded with a tsunami of nasty. So it goes. Flailing. You can't reason with it. You just flail as you need to and try not worry too much about what the other is doing, thinking, feeling.

 

I'm sorry you're not getting those mutual well wishes you'd like. They do soften the blow, a bit. But the blow is still the blow—and the thing worth reckoning with.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You need to let this go. He doesnt want anything to do with you, his reasons are his reasons. All you can do is speculate and that wont get you anywhere. You blew it by harrassing him when you first split up, that would turn anyone off.

 

You'll be a lot happier if you just let it go, hard as it may be.

Link to post
Share on other sites
What do you want us to say?

 

Cause as leading as your post is, you asked a question as if you wanted our opinions

 

And when given you turn down the advice...

 

I personally don’t see why it matters, he’s an ex, exes don’t have to be friends or cordial, I think what he did was the mature thing, what you were attempting to do was leave the door open for reconciliation. Should he have been mean? No, did he owe you kindness, not necessarily, so I don’t think it’s something to lose sleep over.

 

Just wanted to understand what is going on in his mind when he just flipped a 180. We had a respectful conversation and at the same time, he reminded me that he doesn't hate me or anything. The next few days, he turns into Mr. Hyde. I don't think it's weird to find importance in keeping it friendly with an ex. I don't just like him as a lover, I genuinely liked him as a person, too. No different from any other close friends in my life. I didn't plan on keeping in touch with him frequently after the breakup though because I know we need a long period of time to distance ourselves and heal. I just wanted to share a few kind words before we part ways so that we don't just go on with our lives feeling resentful. I never wanted that. I want to keep it positive and not bitter.

Link to post
Share on other sites
May I ask how old you guys are?

 

A little something that I remind myself of in these moments is that everyone flails following a breakup. Everyone. We just flail in different ways. Some flail into yoga, others into swiping right. Some flail into spirituality, others into shots of whiskey. Some flail in mature closure talks, others flail by doing 180s. It's all kind of the same, at least for the first month.

 

Point being, trying to decipher this is a fool's errand. His mode of ending a two year relationship—a text, then ghosting—is the mode of a dude who was already flailing pretty hard in an unremarkable way. Whatever led him on that path, it's his to walk now, not yours to try to map out. You'll just get dizzy, confused.

 

My ex did some similar things when we broke up. Two sweet texts, followed by a sour avalanche. She'd want to meet and talk, then she'd want nothing more than her grandmother's pot which had been collecting dust in my garage for years. I left the pot at her door—the last physical remnants of our time together—and she responded with a tsunami of nasty. So it goes. Flailing. You can't reason with it. You just flail as you need to and try not worry too much about what the other is doing, thinking, feeling.

 

I'm sorry you're not getting those mutual well wishes you'd like. They do soften the blow, a bit. But the blow is still the blow—and the thing worth reckoning with.

 

We're in our early 20's. I wish things didn't go this way. We're both adults so I wished this was done with dignity and respect. I don't think that's asking for a lot. I know I can't make him do anything, but it's such a shame how someone can just take 2 years worth and stomp on it like that regardless of how they feel. I try to forgive him though, life is too short to be angry or hateful. He is extremely emotional and sensitive. His emotions dictate his every move, and I try to keep that in mind. He definitely needs to take a long period of time to cool down and .

Link to post
Share on other sites
You need to let this go. He doesnt want anything to do with you, his reasons are his reasons. All you can do is speculate and that wont get you anywhere. You blew it by harrassing him when you first split up, that would turn anyone off.

 

You'll be a lot happier if you just let it go, hard as it may be.

 

I'm trying to do things right because this isn't just an ex, this is a person I care about and a good friend. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells no matter which direction I take. I did apologize for harassing him the moment after he breakup texted me though because it was incredibly immature. I make it clear that I do not mean anything I said during that heated moment, and I was feeling a mixture of many emotions and acted out on them; as would most people who are in the receiving end of a breakup.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's natural, when breaking up, to want someone to give us something we can move forward with comfortably, gracefully—something to hold onto, you could say, in order to make letting go easier. Which, of course, is ironic. And, ultimately, it's not something we always get or another has to give.

 

I can't help but feel that, just beneath your references to his emotionality and sensitivity, is something that could go by a less gauzy name: immaturity. Real, actual immaturity or a perception on your part that he isn't as mature as you. Doesn't quite matter. But it might be worth asking yourself if, over the past two years, there were moments when his "sensitivity" sometimes got in the way of his acting with "dignity and respect," as you define those qualities. If so, that he's doing so now shouldn't be such a surprise. Him being him, in short.

 

Anyhow, I know it's hard. You care about him, he cares about you—those are facts, but facts you don't need to validate for each other, not anymore. That's what a breakup is, in part, the end of that validation loop and the beginning of a void you process on your own where before you processed things together. Sour stuff, hard stuff.

 

Whatever it is you want from him right now is inside of you, to be cultivated by yourself, as you need to. Best to let go of expecting something from him, or expecting him to behave in the same way you are. Odds are that if all that was possible you wouldn't be where you are right now, you know?

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are times when you can't figure people out. I know some people who have volatile personalities if you only discuss superficial subjects. If you dare discuss any other concern or issue, they'll send your head to the chopping block. You can't make rhyme nor reason with some people. They are who they are. A leopard can't change its spots. You accept them as is, work around their foibles, enforce boundaries and it's all you can do.

 

If you have a choice to eliminate certain difficult people from your life such as your ex-boyfriend, you do just that. Stay away from unstable, mentally ill people. They're nothing but energy vampires. :upset:

Link to post
Share on other sites

He’s annoyed that the breakup just keeps dragging on.

 

I know you are probably used to talking to him every day (or more) and you are going through your own emotions so you don’t see it... but let me illustrate.

 

From your post - in the past 14 days...

 

- He broke up with you

 

- you spammed him

- you sent him a letter

- you ran into him, forced chit-chat and asked him to call

- he called at your request

- he texted to say “enough is enough” and to bring his stuff the day you were planning to meet (

- you turned that into a conversation (because you said “throughout the day he texted..)

- he said he didn’t want to meet and to please just drop off his stuff

 

... and you are taking days and days to drop it off...

 

Sorry - but you really were dragging it out as long as possible and finding excuses or reasons to talk or meet, etc. That’s a whole lot of interaction with someone who is an ex. Breakups are like a band-aid. You have to just rip it off.

 

I think most people would get annoyed, quite frankly. He keeps trying to go - and actually, I think he was quite kind and patient with you for a while, but now he’s just fed up and wants it done.

 

Less is more with breakups.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm trying to do things right because this isn't just an ex, this is a person I care about and a good friend. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells no matter which direction I take. I did apologize for harassing him the moment after he breakup texted me though because it was incredibly immature. I make it clear that I do not mean anything I said during that heated moment, and I was feeling a mixture of many emotions and acted out on them; as would most people who are in the receiving end of a breakup.

 

You said your piece to him and he's moved on. You feel your heart was stomped on and this guy has gone on with his life while you are looking for answers as to why he did what he did. Only he can explain that to you and he doesnt seem to want to. You can flog this dead horse until you are old and gray or you can move on with your life too, and be happy. Learn from this and go on to have a happy life with another guy, someone you may not have met yet.

Link to post
Share on other sites

This jerk dumped you over text. That's bad.

 

You are doing backflips to be friends and stay in contact. Why? This guy disrespected you and you want to be friends.

 

Let him to get his own crap, as you are not a delivery person. The block and delete. I see you did drop it off. UGH.

 

Good friends do not treat you this way.

 

I also don't get that spamming thing. That is something a teenager might do,

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just wanted to understand what is going on in his mind when he just flipped a 180. We had a respectful conversation and at the same time, he reminded me that he doesn't hate me or anything. The next few days, he turns into Mr. Hyde. I don't think it's weird to find importance in keeping it friendly with an ex. I don't just like him as a lover, I genuinely liked him as a person, too. No different from any other close friends in my life. I didn't plan on keeping in touch with him frequently after the breakup though because I know we need a long period of time to distance ourselves and heal. I just wanted to share a few kind words before we part ways so that we don't just go on with our lives feeling resentful. I never wanted that. I want to keep it positive and not bitter.

 

Understandable.

 

But just because you feel the need to remain friends doesn’t mean he is required to.

 

He broke up with you via text... that’s super disrespectful, I find it hard to believe your foundation of friendship was that strong if he felt it was ok to do that.

 

You flung a bevy of insults via texts and messages, that kind of reaction again does not convey a strong friendship was there.

 

It sounds like you’re using this friendship excuse to keep the lines of communication open, you aren’t the first to do this and you won’t be the last, it’s quite common, you were dragging out the breakup, constantly wanting to talk, again at its core it really seems like it was to keep the lines of communication open for reconciliation.

 

Look if you hope to reconcile, you’re doing it wrong NC is the way to go, give him a chance to miss you, to rethink his choices, your actions post break up unfortunately seemed to just solidify his choice.

 

Give it time and space, friendship can happen but not right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
He’s annoyed that the breakup just keeps dragging on.

 

I know you are probably used to talking to him every day (or more) and you are going through your own emotions so you don’t see it... but let me illustrate.

 

From your post - in the past 14 days...

 

- He broke up with you

 

- you spammed him

- you sent him a letter

- you ran into him, forced chit-chat and asked him to call

- he called at your request

- he texted to say “enough is enough” and to bring his stuff the day you were planning to meet (

- you turned that into a conversation (because you said “throughout the day he texted..)

- he said he didn’t want to meet and to please just drop off his stuff

 

... and you are taking days and days to drop it off...

 

Sorry - but you really were dragging it out as long as possible and finding excuses or reasons to talk or meet, etc. That’s a whole lot of interaction with someone who is an ex. Breakups are like a band-aid. You have to just rip it off.

 

I think most people would get annoyed, quite frankly. He keeps trying to go - and actually, I think he was quite kind and patient with you for a while, but now he’s just fed up and wants it done.

 

Less is more with breakups.

 

Yeah, you're right.... I did a lot of dumb things without realizing it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
From your post - in the past 14 days...

 

- He broke up with you

 

- you spammed him

- you sent him a letter

- you ran into him, forced chit-chat and asked him to call

- he called at your request

- he texted to say “enough is enough” and to bring his stuff the day you were planning to meet (

- you turned that into a conversation (because you said “throughout the day he texted..)

- he said he didn’t want to meet and to please just drop off his stuff

 

... and you are taking days and days to drop it off...

 

Sorry - but you really were dragging it out as long as possible and finding excuses or reasons to talk or meet, etc. That’s a whole lot of interaction with someone who is an ex. Breakups are like a band-aid. You have to just rip it off.

 

Agree... all I could think when I read your post was "leave the guy alone already!"

 

You need to stop playing games with him and do the right thing... cause right now you are coming across as a Stage 5 Clinger with a resentment as hot as the sun. Play it cool, drop his stuff off and go no contact so you can focus on moving on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why is he cold? Because he.is.your.EX.

 

As in you are not together anymore, history, in the past, done, finished, the end, finito. It's not complicated OP, you just have to start working on accepting that it really is over. Hugs to you, but please try to heal and move on and stop bothering with him, stop talking to him, finish up whatever you need to sort out and block and delete. You need to heal and move on and any contact from him, good or bad, keeps you stuck. Start thinking about your own well being and that means you stop thinking about him.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn. I love shrimp chips.

 

Break ups are hard every way around. I'm sorry this one is so abrupt. He might have felt a bit too intimidated by your personality. Without knowing either of you very well, there seems to be a bit of a personality clash there. He doesn't seem emotional to me in the sense that he's high strung or inordinately prone to sadness or whatever emotional might entail. The overrunning vibe I'm getting is intimidation and he's afraid of you. For whatever reason, your differences probably didn't allow for much dialogue and there may be a lot of insecurities there regarding your relationship and him not measuring up as a partner.

 

This should also be a wake up call for you: out of respect for others, expect 50/50 on the friends with exes deal. If you're cool with it, it's 50/50 whether someone else is just not cool with it and you're going to have to respect that. Let him go and onwards and forwards.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Agree... all I could think when I read your post was "leave the guy alone already!"

 

You need to stop playing games with him and do the right thing... cause right now you are coming across as a Stage 5 Clinger with a resentment as hot as the sun. Play it cool, drop his stuff off and go no contact so you can focus on moving on.

 

That's exactly what he told me, too. He told me to stop playing games and I didn't know what he was talking about. I was trying to get him to calm down. I didn't know what I was doing... Thanks for explaining it to me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Break ups are hard every way around. I'm sorry this one is so abrupt. He might have felt a bit too intimidated by your personality. Without knowing either of you very well, there seems to be a bit of a personality clash there. He doesn't seem emotional to me in the sense that he's high strung or inordinately prone to sadness or whatever emotional might entail. The overrunning vibe I'm getting is intimidation and he's afraid of you. For whatever reason, your differences probably didn't allow for much dialogue and there may be a lot of insecurities there regarding your relationship and him not measuring up as a partner.

This should also be a wake up call for you: out of respect for others, expect 50/50 on the friends with exes deal. If you're cool with it, it's 50/50 whether someone else is just not cool with it and you're going to have to respect that. Let him go and onwards and forwards.

 

Really? I never thought he was... Specifically what would make you think that he's intimidated? If this was true, then I feel bad. I don't intend to make him feel anything like that. I always encouraged him to speak up if there was ever something bothering him. I'm not a mind reader and I'm not aware of how other's feel so it was important for us to communicate and be honest so that there aren't any misunderstandings.

 

I feel like you're right about the insecurities because we had some conversations regarding this before. Based on the last conversation we had about this, he talked about how he feels like he's not good enough and that I deserve someone better. I asked him why he thinks that way and he told it's because he felt that nothing he was doing was enough for me. This came out of the time from when I needed help with a personal problem and he offered to help, but I said no thank you because it wasn't what I needed. He helps by talking and consoling, I needed like actual physical help... I didn't think it was a big deal, but he took this personally and got a bit offended. I clarified to him that I'm not saying he's useless, it's just that what he's offering isn't what I need at the time. He was fine after that clarification because he thought it was some personal attack on him or something.

 

We also talked about how we express our love to each other differently. He expresses it through words and I express it by actions. I truly love him a lot and in my eyes, I was doing a lot for him action-wise; I'm less of a word person. However, I don't say "I love you" a lot and it made him feel like I didn't love him enough. I told him that I express love in actions rather than words. I buy him food, take care of him, help him with his career & school, buy him things he needs, give him money when his bank is low, make him food and feed him, go over to his house when he's sad, etc. I would not do any of that for anyone else except my close family. To me, that was my biggest way of showing him love. I kind of felt like I was taken for granted at that time because he didn't understand this. It's not a big deal, but after he voiced out this concern, I started saying "I love you" more and he started to acknowledge my actions. Also, it was the exact same thing for him, too, with words. I took him for granted as well and felt like he wasn't doing a lot because he said things more than he did them. I won't explain it because I think you get the idea.. This problem was resolved over a discussion though, that's why talking about things is important for us.

 

Although we had conversations about whatever needed to be resolved, it was always me initiating these conversations. Unfortunately, he's the type to avoid conflicts whenever it arises. There was a couple of times when he held in a problem and got really emotional and hurt over it that he blocked me on all social medias. At first, I asked him what was wrong because I felt that he wasn't feeling okay. All of a sudden, he ghosts me and I get worried and don't hear from him till the next 2 days. During the times when he ghosted me, I tried reaching out in other ways because I seriously don't know what the was going on or what happened. I was worried if something happened to him. When he unblocked me, we talked again. He told me he blocked me because he needed space and he was too hurt and emotional to talk to or see anyone. He said he didn't want to talk about problems because he doesn't want to feel bad or guilty. Afterwards, we have a long conversation about whatever the problem is and things get better from there. We further our understanding of each other and clear up any confusions. Honestly, I have gotten pretty annoyed by his behavior when it comes to conflicts. I still find it pretty childish of him to run away every time. He runs away because he feels bad though so I try to keep that in mind every time. I don't want him to feel bad, I'm not trying to make him feel bad. I'm just trying to talk things out and not ignore them.

 

Yeah.. I can't force him to be friends with me, he has to want it, too. It just sucks that some dumb like this ruined a great friendship. It sounds like were problematic, but in a bigger picture, this has been the best 2 years for the both of us. We've never been happier. We had old souls, we liked doing boring and it was fun for us. We were 2 different pieces of puzzles but we fit. I miss joking with him, our unique, immature sense of humor. I miss talking about other people with him and making fun of his crazy family members with him. I missed those deep conversations we had whenever we went out to look at the stars and stayed up till 2am. I have a lot of friends but he was the only one who I could be with 24/7 and never get tired. The last time I saw him, he smiled and that's the person I'll remember. He wasn't just a boyfriend, he was a best friend. I'd want to hear his successes and achievements in life. After a long period of time, hopefully we can be friends one day. I wouldn't want some ty breakup or past to ruin a gem. I'm not the type to hold grudges or be resentful. We're really young and very immature; it ultimately ed up our relationship. I recently started no contact for real. I left him a little note though before I started. I wrote everything I just said in this paragraph and also "When we're both ready, let's meet again as new people with clean slates when we have put this all behind us. We can slowly rebuild that connection and trust again. For now, let's focus on ourselves and heal, it's going to take a while. Good luck and I wish you the best."

Link to post
Share on other sites

That behaviour in a relationship would raise some red flags for me, enough to question and not simply accept a person for being 'emotional'. What you're describing is serious instability, in my mind. It's good that both of you tried to communicate despite these issues. In all your relationships going forward it's always a positive trait to encourage open communication (two-way communication).

 

Unfortunately you learned the hard way that when a person presents themselves as a certain way in a relationship, things rarely change in a different way during a break up. You said he did a 180 in the break up. He didn't. He simply reverted back to his old state.

 

I think you're doing the right thing letting go. This really was not a sustainable relationship and I don't feel either of you were equipped to deal with his unique reactions and reversions into different emotional states. I don't think the relationship part of this was dumb. It's hard and it's painful now and you're missing someone a lot but it will all make sense eventually and smooth out over time. In time, you'll see the whole picture: friendship and relationship and you'll realize how valuable all those lessons are. You'll also meet new people in your life who will introduce you to new things and new ideas and you'll slowly put all the pieces together about what works for you and what doesn't work. It will be ok.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That behaviour in a relationship would raise some red flags for me, enough to question and not simply accept a person for being 'emotional'. What you're describing is serious instability, in my mind. It's good that both of you tried to communicate despite these issues. In all your relationships going forward it's always a positive trait to encourage open communication (two-way communication).

Unfortunately you learned the hard way that when a person presents themselves as a certain way in a relationship, things rarely change in a different way during a break up. You said he did a 180 in the break up. He didn't. He simply reverted back to his old state.

I think you're doing the right thing letting go. This really was not a sustainable relationship and I don't feel either of you were equipped to deal with his unique reactions and reversions into different emotional states. I don't think the relationship part of this was dumb. It's hard and it's painful now and you're missing someone a lot but it will all make sense eventually and smooth out over time. In time, you'll see the whole picture: friendship and relationship and you'll realize how valuable all those lessons are. You'll also meet new people in your life who will introduce you to new things and new ideas and you'll slowly put all the pieces together about what works for you and what doesn't work. It will be ok.

 

Right, communication was key.

 

He really is...I know that no one is perfect and everything has flaws. Those were his flaws and I work around it or find ways to handle it; it's a compromise. I think it's important that I mention this: He came from a broken family so he's probably a broken person, too. His family are narcissists and his mom and dad are divorced (for cheating, lying, stealing money). He lives with his dad and siblings and the dynamic is just really off. His dad likes to complain to him all the time and make him feel bad so there's never a moment in that household where he genuinely feels good. He told me that he feels like a living mistake in there, everything he does is wrong. He grew up seeing his father with woman after woman and he would break up with them through text, too! His dad is equally as sensitive and emotional as him. He always told me how he never wanted to be like his father because he knows what a chitty person he is. Sometimes he's not aware that he resembles him in the way he does things. I try to warn him about it and although he takes in that information, he also kind of gets offended and sensitive about it. Anyways, I'm 100% positive that his behaviors and everything about him are influenced by his childhood and even now. He developed insecurities and many other things based on the way he grew up, it's really sad.

 

He's still living with his dad and I feel like his dad had a bit of influence on our relationship. His dad hates me because I don't like him. I see through all his chit and he's not a very genuine and nice person. He talks chit about literally everyone, including me; he called me a crazy bich when I was at the lowest point of my life, I had depression. I'll never forget that... how can someone stoop so low? His dad always wanted him to breakup with me whenever we fought. Whenever we had trouble between us, his dad would jump on the opportunity to tell him to breakup with me. As a matter of fact, the whole blocking, ghosting, and throwing all my stuff away was his idea from the start when we had a little tiff. He's seriously pathetic and it felt like he was part of the relationship sometimes. I can't imagine the chit he is saying about me now after we broke up for good. He's the most immature almost 60 yr old, I've ever known. In a world without his batchit insane family, I think he would've been mentally healthy and fairly normal. He's a good person, just insanely affected by a broken narc family. We have talked about all of this many times before. Regardless of all this, I never tried to let it affect us. Maybe he kind of did though...

 

Even after all that we've talked about, he really did end up doing the same chit... How he feels and what he's thinking is beyond me because he sent me a single breakup text without any explanation and that was it.

 

I'll never think badly of the relationship. It's just so funny in a dark way that we had some really nice days prior to the breakup and then bam, it hits all of a sudden. It feels like a sudden car crash; you just don't see it coming. Regardless of everything, I'll always be forever grateful for the 2 years and all that he has given and shown me. He gave me so much love and care. He has shown me that it's okay to open up and trust people. He was a gift and a blessing and I'll never forget that. In the end, I still reminded him how thankful I am. I really did have the best 2 years of my life. I learned a lot from him and it's crazy to say, but I would do it all over again if I had a reset button.

 

Thank you for your opinions. Part of this is also a learning experience. I'm inexperienced with dating/relationships so I welcome any type of insightful input available. It's hard right now, but I know it's not the end of my life yet. I'm still growing and I'm still young I still have a long way to go and along the way, people will come along; I might meet some of the best people and some of the worst.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...