bobatea24 Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 Hi, all- I have a friend that I have been getting to know for about a year. It's been really good but I'm a feelings type of person. She isn't. We have had a pretty lovely friendship, though. I think we both hang out with maybe 1-2 other people on a semi-regular basis as we are both busy lawyers and we have found it hard to make friends. And also, it would seem that adult friendships aren't the easiest to cultivate. We definitely carve out time to spend together. All of that is great. Here is the weird part. If I text her, she rarely texts back. If I ask her a specific question she likely will text me back like hours and hours later. I know she texts other people though. I don't mean to sound juvenile but it has made me feel like she doesn't care. However, when I see her in person, she is normal and friendly. I don't get this because I am just not that way. If a good friend messages me, I want to reply. I KNOW she likes me and that we really like each other so it isn't that. I want to text her because not texting her feels like a game. However, the lack of responses I let take a toll on my self-esteem and my thoughts about our relationship. And we don't text THAT MUCH, so it isn't like I'm shooting gobs of messages at her. I might text her once or twice a week. I feel like if I stop texting her, she won't text me and I can hear the ENA community now (because I have been reading threads here for years) say, "If you think she won't ever text you then what kind of friendship must you really have!?" The thing is that, texting really isn't THAT important, but it's definitely a way that we can maintain the momentum of our friendship as it's newish. I'm the kind of person that wants to remind people that I'm thinking of them and to do what it takes to grow a relationship that I really care about, etc. For example, if I know she has a big case one day, I will text and say, "I hope your case goes well!" That kind of thing would not get a response. I, however, would totally love that my friend 1) remembered that I had a big case and 2) that they thought about me enough to wish me well and I would at least be like, "Thanks for thinking of me!" I would be interested to hear your take on it. Link to comment
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