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I used to be bothered. That's was because I saw unrealistic ideals in photoshopped images. We are plastered everywhere by images that are unreal. When my husband first told me cellulite was hot, I looked at him like he turned into a baked potato. I started to take a very good look at the images that we see on a daily basis in magazines, movies, in malls, plastered on floor to ceiling posters and my eyes started seeing images that were unrealistic and alien to me. I looked at myself in the mirror differently and began to interpret differences in the way I used to think regarding my skin, body type, hair type and markings. I realized I'd been institutionalized and indoctrinated by what society deemed ok or correct and for the first time in my life I felt it surge up in my blood, a very deep sense of betrayal and anger, towards all the companies that ever have taught women to believe one type of image or one type of look is perfect. I asked myself questions about my role models growing up from my mother to every woman I'd known who had betrayed me or any young girl into thinking that we were not good enough. Yes, there was a lot of anger. But it wasn't directed towards myself. Eventually it ran out.

 

I came to realize at the end of the day that I have never changed. Only my outlook and my perspective has changed over time, large enough (thankfully) to encompass different thoughts and a new opinion of myself. That turned from caring (caring about my image) to demanding (demanding that I live my way, no make up, cellulite and all). I think the answer is not in caring anymore but in caring so deeply that you are able to make sense of that self-rejection, anger, acceptance and finally supreme and utter self-love that nothing or anyone can take away from you.

 

My advice is not to not care. It's to care deeply and live deeply. Love yourself deeply and really see yourself for what you are, totally and completely.

 

This is beautiful and wonderful. Thank you so much! You are a poet.

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I have a friend who is tall and thin, except she had cellulite on the backs of her thighs that she hated. She was told that even liposuction wouldn't get rid of it, as lipo can make it bumpy looking, which is entirely what she wanted to get rid of. She ended up having the backs of her thighs slit horizontally just under each butt cheek, and the doctor extracted out as much fat as he could. She has no cellulite anymore, but she has two distinct thigh-width horizontal scars just at the tops of her thighs, which she probably doesn't even realize are entirely noticeable in swimsuits. She should have just lived with the cellulite.

 

This is why I never wanted to undergo anything invasive. It's just crazy. Like women who are so obsessed with not having wrinkles that they stretch and puff their faces into deformity. Sure, they have no wrinkles but they look like a puffer fish!

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I am going to the beach soon on a trip with lots of people. I started feeling anxious about this and then it occurred to me how big a waste it would be to let this ruin a chance to connect with other people and really appreciate time with them.

 

I tend to oscillate from not caring at all, to letting it ruin my day. And that is just so SO profoundly silly. I would like to simply not care so much about it, and to focus my energy on more important thoughts. I know that I have allowed superficial values to hinder my relationships with people. I judge myself and others too harshly. I want to be accepting, to look at people and really SEE them with empathy, as being complex people. And I would like to see myself that way, too. I think for many women it begins with body image and forgiving your flaws. I don;t know. I want to be a more positive and substantial person; not just about body image but in terms of values.

 

No - you don't have to see them as people who are empathetic or complex. Because the issue is with you - you think people are going to "notice" more than noticing as in not blind. Like they may remember what color your swimsuit was if they had to describe you to someone because you've gone missing. Do you really think people take in your cellulite to the extent that they would form a judgment and therefore need to be "complex" not to? If you want to be a more substantial and positive person it's about actions not thinking about it. Do things that are substantial whether it's delving into a significant piece of literature, helping a friend, volunteering or going for a run or power walk outside and really noticing your surroundings if you're in a park let's say. People are far too concerned with what impression they are making to give your physical features a second thought or even a first thought.

 

So here's an example. We just returned from a beach vacation. We met our friends there. I noticed that the wife is now too thin AND moreover, doesn't look healthy to me - and I have my ideas as to why that might be but because my husband and her husband are close friends I likely am not the person she will really open up to. But that's why I noticed her body- because I haven't seen her in a year and I am concerned about her health.

 

On the other hand at the pool they had a "pool party" where they played 80s and 90s hits. I stood at the side of the pool. My 10 year old son was in the pool but far from me and it was really crowded. And for him, I made eye contact with him and danced with abandon -all PG-rated- but yes, I'm 52 and I just let it all out because I used to dance to that music as a teenager. He was delighted - he tried to dance with me from a distance. And guess what -I got a few stares since it looked like I was dancing on my own, etc. And I wasn't wearing a bathing suit. But who the heck cares?? My son was having a blast watching his mom partay...... he rarely gets to see me that way -maybe he should, more. I probably looked ridiculous at points although I'm a pretty good dancer. But again who cares? Why do you care?

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She has no cellulite anymore, but she has two distinct thigh-width horizontal scars just at the tops of her thighs, which she probably doesn't even realize are entirely noticeable in swimsuits./QUOTE]

 

Crazy that the doctor could do all of that and yet wasn't able to conceal the scars!

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