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Did I Ruin Everything By Blowing Up His Phone After We Had Sex?


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Do you think he'll ever forgive me? He said he loves me.

 

No one knows, but it's this very anxiety ridden thinking that got you into trouble in the first place.

 

Why don't you go for a walk or call a friend and try to stop ruminating about this. It isn't going to change anything.

 

You've been here asking crystal ball type questions for 3 hours now. Please take a break.

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Do you think he'll ever forgive me? He said he loves me.

 

He will be back, when he needs something else.

 

Theres nothing to forgive, this is who you are, it wont change, you dont trust him, I have no doubt this is what he does and this is what you do.

 

If you dont plan to heal yourself...my best advice is try to wait it out.

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He will be back, when he needs something else.

 

Theres nothing to forgive, this is who you are, it wont change, you dont trust him, I have no doubt this is what he does and this is what you do.

 

If you dont plan to heal yourself...my best advice is try to wait it out.

 

You mean we're just repeating the same pattern in our relationship every time? And it's never going to change? Because our relationship dynamic is just going to be the same every time?

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Do you think he'll ever forgive me? He said he loves me.

 

Oh.my.god. Take back your personal power from him and stop thinking that you blowing up his phone is why he is being the a-hole that he is. He's always been an a-hole... long before you freaked out and text him so stop it with the blame game you're putting on yourself.

 

He's an a-hole jerk. Why are you pining over a hood that's likely on his way to jail or on probation for the next two years and will be angry in general for it which he'll probably take out on you.

 

Stop the guilt because it's misplaced. He would have likely ghosted you whether you called him once, 10 times or never after your night together because that's who he is... a jerk who only thinks about himself and his own needs.

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You mean we're just repeating the same pattern in our relationship every time? And it's never going to change? Because our relationship dynamic is just going to be the same every time?

 

He's never gonna stop being a loser. You should expect more from a partner, why do you allow this crap? He's not worth your time.

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You mean we're just repeating the same pattern in our relationship every time? And it's never going to change? Because our relationship dynamic is just going to be the same every time?

 

Speaking for myself, not figureitout: yes, exactly.

 

Since you really want people to give opinions and predictions, I'll offer mine. You know how you've been thinking about this every second for days? He has spent half a second thinking about it over that same time. Why? Because on a gut level he knows he doesn't have to, that he can do just about anything and you'll be there. Is that how things were when you were together? I suspect the answer is yes.

 

I'm not saying he's using you and doesn't care about you. He cares about you. But—and I suggest reading this part a few times—he cares about you and your well-being exactly as much as you care about it. Which is: not much, not enough. He takes you as seriously as he takes himself. Which is: not much, not enough.

 

He probably looks in the mirror and sees a loser, mess of a man that no decent woman should get near—and, you know what? He should see that. Without making any presumptions about his guilt or innocence, dude has clearly been making some seriously questionable choices with his life and is paying the price. Your thirst for him just validates all that, lets him know that he can continue to be a mess and be obsessed over.

 

So, yeah, if your end goal here is for him to hit you up again, to eventually say some nice things and have sex—don't worry. All that will happen. If your end goal here is to feel genuinely loved and secure in a stable, exciting relationship with a future—no, that's not happening. That's not what you plus him equals. To find that you've got to raise your standards—to care more about yourself than you do right now—and then you'll meet someone who can show you the same kind of care.

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Speaking for myself, not figureitout: yes, exactly.

 

Since you really want people to give opinions and predictions, I'll offer mine. You know how you've been thinking about this every second for days? He has spent half a second thinking about it over that same time. Why? Because on a gut level he knows he doesn't have to, that he can do just about anything and you'll be there. Is that how things were when you were together? I suspect the answer is yes.

 

I'm not saying he's using you and doesn't care about you. He cares about you. But—and I suggest reading this part a few times—he cares about you and your well-being exactly as much as you care about it. Which is: not much, not enough. He takes you as seriously as he takes himself. Which is: not much, not enough.

 

He probably looks in the mirror and sees a loser, mess of a man that no decent woman should get near—and, you know what? He should see that. Without making any presumptions about his guilt or innocence, dude has clearly been making some seriously questionable choices with his life and is paying the price. Your thirst for him just validates all that, lets him know that he can continue to be a mess and be obsessed over.

 

So, yeah, if your end goal here is for him to hit you up again, to eventually say some nice things and have sex—don't worry. All that will happen. If your end goal here is to feel genuinely loved and secure in a stable, exciting relationship with a future—no, that's not happening. That's not what you plus him equals. To find that you've got to raise your standards—to care more about yourself than you do right now—and then you'll meet someone who can show you the same kind of care.

But, I don't have anyone else in my life who cares about me.

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But, I don't have anyone else in my life who cares about me.

 

Sure you do.

 

Go into the bathroom, turn on the lights, look in the mirror. That is a woman who cares about you and who, right now, is screaming at you for a little more love than you're giving her. Give her 10 percent more care than you're giving her now and all this will start to look very differently very quickly, and won't weigh on you in quite the same way.

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Sure you do.

 

Go into the bathroom, turn on the lights, look in the mirror. That is a woman who cares about you and who, right now, is screaming at you for a little more love than you're giving her. Give her 10 percent more care than you're giving her now and all this will start to look very differently very quickly, and won't weigh on you in quite the same way.

 

How long before it all stops hurting?

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Speaking for myself, not figureitout: yes, exactly.

 

Since you really want people to give opinions and predictions, I'll offer mine. You know how you've been thinking about this every second for days? He has spent half a second thinking about it over that same time. Why? Because on a gut level he knows he doesn't have to, that he can do just about anything and you'll be there. Is that how things were when you were together? I suspect the answer is yes.

 

I'm not saying he's using you and doesn't care about you. He cares about you. But—and I suggest reading this part a few times—he cares about you and your well-being exactly as much as you care about it. Which is: not much, not enough. He takes you as seriously as he takes himself. Which is: not much, not enough.

 

He probably looks in the mirror and sees a loser, mess of a man that no decent woman should get near—and, you know what? He should see that. Without making any presumptions about his guilt or innocence, dude has clearly been making some seriously questionable choices with his life and is paying the price. Your thirst for him just validates all that, lets him know that he can continue to be a mess and be obsessed over.

 

So, yeah, if your end goal here is for him to hit you up again, to eventually say some nice things and have sex—don't worry. All that will happen. If your end goal here is to feel genuinely loved and secure in a stable, exciting relationship with a future—no, that's not happening. That's not what you plus him equals. To find that you've got to raise your standards—to care more about yourself than you do right now—and then you'll meet someone who can show you the same kind of care.

 

I think he's repeating the same cycle of abuse, but on a smaller scale.

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But, I don't have anyone else in my life who cares about me.

 

He does not give sh*t about you. He abused you physically. This is not love. The guy is a thug and a loser.

 

You heal when you block this creep.

 

Where is your family and friends?

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I think he's repeating the same cycle of abuse, but on a smaller scale.

 

Ya think? Dear, you know so are you just posting for attention now? Did anything that Blue said in the quote you posted resonate with you in any way? You didn't even acknowledge it you just posted something else to keep this thread going in the same direction that being us giving you advice and you not showing us in anyway that you "get it."

 

Adding: I ask again. Where are your parents? Are you estranged from them and not available to help you get him out from under your skin?

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Ya think? Dear, you know so are you just posting for attention now? Did anything that Blue said in the quote you posted resonate with you in any way? You didn't even acknowledge it you just posted something else to keep this thread going in the same direction that being us giving you advice and you not showing us in anyway that you "get it."

 

Adding: I ask again. Where are your parents? Are you estranged from them and not available to help you get him out from under your skin?

 

I get it. We are toxic for eachother and we always will be. I need to snap out of it and just block him.

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