BecxyRex 63 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 One of my really good friends just told me she's pregnant and I'm beyond excited for her. She's only 6 weeks and told me not many people know yet, and that she wants to tell only her closest friends and family for now. We are going to brunch this weekend and my question is, do I bring her a little gift or is that just not appropriate, given how fragile an early pregnancy can be? Should I wait until she makes an official announcement? I want to show my joy and support, but don't want to be too much either. Thanks! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bluecastle 983 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I think bringing her a little gift is a lovely gesture. It warms the heart, and while I'm not a physician I do believe that warm hearts are essential in those early, fragile days of pregnancy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BecxyRex 63 Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 thanks blue :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SarahLancaster 155 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Are you talking about a gift for her or for the baby? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Seraphim 1,774 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Maybe get her a card? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedDress 664 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I wouldn’t. Not yet. There will be tons of time to spoil her and the baby. Not to be a Debbie Downer - but something like 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage - and 80% of those are in the first trimester. That’s why people don’t usually announce to everyone right away... there is still a high chance that the pregnancy might not «take». Basically, you don’t want to get toooo excited while the risk is still high. Should the worst happen, people usually want to grieve privately. Right now I would just be happy with her and let her gush. You can start to buy presents towards the end of the year... That’s my 2 cents. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BecxyRex 63 Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 Are you talking about a gift for her or for the baby? Im not really sure yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BecxyRex 63 Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 I wouldn’t. Not yet. There will be tons of time to spoil her and the baby. Not to be a Debbie Downer - but something like 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage - and 80% of those are in the first trimester. That’s why people don’t usually announce to everyone right away... there is still a high chance that the pregnancy might not «take». Basically, you don’t want to get toooo excited while the risk is still high. Should the worst happen, people usually want to grieve privately. Right now I would just be happy with her and let her gush. You can start to buy presents towards the end of the year... That’s my 2 cents. That's why I was apprehensive. Thank you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SarahLancaster 155 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I think a gift for the baby would be premature (no pun intended). A little gift for her would be lovely. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rose Mosse 513 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I'd meet with her and enjoy her company, listen to her and be excited for her. I'm like you and I like to give a lot but 99% check myself because it's just not appropriate and it's not what the other person is looking for. You expressing your joy and support for her regardless of whatever circumstances she's in or what her personal struggles are (only you know that as her friend) speaks greater volumes. Remain constant in your support during the pregnancy. She'll have mood swings and will probably want to yell bloody murder at the end but be there for her. You can shower her and the baby with gifts in due time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ThatwasThen 723 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Im not really sure yet. I'm with Sarah on this one: For her I think it would be a lovely gesture. For the baby, well, we have a superstition about that so buying something for the baby before the third trimester is a no no. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cherylyn 348 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 You can if you want to, however, I would wait until later or when she has a baby shower. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BecxyRex 63 Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 Really good points everyone. I think if anything, I might just get a tiny something for her, but definitely not for baby yet. Thank you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bluecastle 983 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Really good points everyone. I think if anything, I might just get a tiny something for her, but definitely not for baby yet. Thank you! That's what I was assuming from the start. A nice candle, say, not a rattle. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batya33 1,899 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I would not - just be a thoughtful friend. Wish her well for a smooth pregnancy and ask her how she is feeling. You can bring her some ginger chews if you want - those are great for morning sickness as long as she doesn’t consume the entire bag at once (if you eat tons of ginger there’s one study it increases risk of miscarriage. Asking how she is feeling is always appreciated. On the negative side when I was in my second trimester and showing and my friend knew I was expecting we had a two to three hour dinner and even though I obviously looked a bit tired and was moving a bit slowly she never asked me once how I was doing or feeling. But talked a lot about how she was feeling. All I wanted was just one quick “so how are you feeling ?” That didn’t overshadow the support and thoughtfulness I did get but I sure remembered it. Have fun at brunch ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
milly007 134 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 One of my really good friends just told me she's pregnant and I'm beyond excited for her. She's only 6 weeks and told me not many people know yet, and that she wants to tell only her closest friends and family for now. We are going to brunch this weekend and my question is, do I bring her a little gift or is that just not appropriate, given how fragile an early pregnancy can be? Should I wait until she makes an official announcement? I want to show my joy and support, but don't want to be too much either. Thanks! Why not just offer to cover her half of the bill at brunch? Wishing your friend all the best in terms of her pregnancy, however if things don’t go according to plan, even if you do purchase a small trinket just for her, it could trigger bad thoughts/memories whenever she sees it. I’d hold off on purchasing any gifts until her baby shower. Or if she doesn’t have a shower, I’d surprise her with a gift after the baby is born. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
melancholy123 436 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Buy her lunch! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SherrySher 881 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Flowers. They are joyful and a very nice gesture. But won't be a reminder like a baby gift would be should something happen. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tinydance 265 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 I think maybe only get a gift after the first trimester of pregnancy has passed. It's true that miscarriages often occur in the first trimester. I'm not that superstitious but in the Eastern European country where I'm originally from, it's considered bad luck to get anything at all for the baby until the baby is actually born. If you were going to get anything for the mother though you probably can but maybe just wait another month and a bit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfeeder 1,881 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Something for her, like flowers and a card, or something small and personal and covering her brunch, would be a beautiful gesture to express your happiness and love for her. Too early to make it about baby, but I'm always for treating a friend to nice surprises whenever possible. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batya33 1,899 Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 Treating for brunch and maybe some flowers is a great idea! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snny 318 Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 (edited) I know this is late because I’m rarely ever around here, but for future lurkers: Avoid giving her (or any woman who just found out they’re pregnant) any gift that has a fragrance like flowers because it could trigger her nausea. My morning sickness/HG started at 6/7 weeks of pregnancy, and the slightest smells would sent me running to the toilet 😷 Not kidding. I even had a client’s family give me perfume to celebrate the news (LOL seriously?), and I couldn’t accept it. I was 8 weeks pregnant around my birthday and had to tell my family to not send me flowers!! I couldn’t even stand in my own driveway for more than a minute (a block away from the beach) because the ocean air made me sick to my stomach. No smelly things for newly pregnant ladies. Edited August 13, 2019 by Snny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batya33 1,899 Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 I know this is late because I’m rarely ever around here, but for future lurkers: Avoid giving her (or any woman who just found out they’re pregnant) any gift that has a fragrance like flowers because it could trigger her nausea. My morning sickness/HG started at 6/7 weeks of pregnancy, and the slightest smells would sent me running to the toilet 😷 Not kidding. I even had a client’s family give me perfume to celebrate the news (LOL seriously?), and I couldn’t accept it. I was 8 weeks pregnant around my birthday and had to tell my family to not send me flowers!! I couldn’t even stand in my own driveway for more than a minute (a block away from the beach) because the ocean air made me sick to my stomach. No smelly things for newly pregnant ladies. Wow. Great point!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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