Lovelavie Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Ok, so I'll try to make this as short as possible. I had been in a relationship with a guy for a year, he´s 27 and I'm 25. And before that we were best friends for a year and also had hooked up the year before. We've been through a lot, I've seen him with other girls, he's seen me with other guys but at the end of the day, we were always together even as friends at some after party or bar. We've been really close and last year he started falling for me and wanted to be with me really bad. For 6 months he went after me, I told him I didn't want a relationship, that I was doing fine as a single girl... but, I ended up falling for the way he treated me which seriously made me feel so safe, and besides we had an awesome friendship. As time went by, we had some conflicts as any couple, he wasn't working and had no ambition so it took him months to start working. That got us into a lot of conflicts because while I was busting my ass waking up early he was sleeping until noon and going out to drink on a wednseday with his friends. His mom stopped giving him money and eventually he got a nice job (last month). So we spent the whole relationship with a lot of money problems, me having to pay for him at a lot of times, or else we wouldn't be able to go out. Or me having to pay because he would either lose/forget his money or lose his credit card. In resume he was really irresponsible, but I stuck by him. Now he's a lot better, he's working, he's dedicated... but it caused a lot of bruises in our relationship. Beyond that, there was also the fact that we agreed on doing an exchance student program together. And he spent FOUR MONTHS telling me he would go after this. While I had my part all organized, he on the other hand, would never go after this out of pure laziness. Which also caused conflicts, to the point where I simply gave up asking about it. I also have really bad anxiety and am currently on therapy to take care of that. Because of this and my past traumatic relataionships, I was insecure towards him a lot of times, when he has nothing but be respectful and loyal to me. However this last month has sucked for me. He would tell me he'd come over to see me, and when I realized he was just saying it without meaning it and confronted him asking him why he kept saying he would come over if he didn't want to and the answer I got was him yelling at me: F*CK WHAT I SAID, I don't care, I said it but now I'm changing it. And I also would cry and he would say I was crying to make him feel bad when I was. He said that we don't work out together, even though I've done nothing but be suportive to him, I have my flaws but in any moment did he actually try to work things out instead of just being negative. I know this relationship has become a mess, and I don't understand how he doesn't want to work it out. To make things worse, he's never really had to work for anything in his life. Also in his last and only relationship, he would cheat on his GF all the time, instead of working things out or simply breaking up, and with me, instead of cheating, he broke up and simply disappeared. Without us having a healthy conversation. I've tried contacting him but he just won't answer. This weekend we have this thing where we're gonna see each other and I'm just so anxious thinking about what he might do. There will be some girls there that he's hooked up with in the past and got distant after we got together, I'm so afraid he might tease me with them. I am pretty sure he would never hook up with anyone in front of me. But he's just been so evil to me, I've texted him practically begging we have an adult conversation, even his mom came to talk to me saying she was sad because of this. I told her her son avoids me, even thought I just simply want to work out how it's gonna be from now on, when we see each other etc... The person I trusted, the person that said I was the love of his life, that was there for me all the time, simply left without giving me the right for us to work things out in an adult way. The person I loved with all my heart simply left me without feeling bad when he sees all these texts and goes to sleep ignoring them. I feel betrayed, like I've never felt with anyone. I've been in relationships with abusive men, but they were never good in the first place. This guy was my friend, my confident, he had known me for years and had seen what kind of things some guys did to me and now he's doing the same or even worse. I can't sleep, I've gone 3 days without barely eating, I've got anxiety attacks, I can't control my mind and it's driving me insane how he simply disappeared and doesn't feel bad about this. Not even out of respect for me and our history he'll give me a conversation. I don't care if we break up at this point anymore, I just want some closure and to work things for when we see each other (which will happen because we have a lot of friends and activities in common and there's no chance for me to stop doing the things I've always done for him - we go to a lot of techno parties, and I even met him in one 3 years ago.. we're both DJs so we only go out to places we truly enjoy, I've gone past the single "going anywhere just to have fun" kind of thing). I'm just trying to grasp my head around how he could do this to me. He said he wanted some time to "breathe", that I'm invasive, but how am I invasive if he goes days without answering me? I just want some closure in an adult way. I don't know how he just hates me so much to this point when I've never done anything to hurt him, he should at least have respect. This is so confusing... Link to comment
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