rchubn Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I've posted about my mentally abusive ex on here before. I've been thinking about the situation in general: Although we had a horrible relationship, we had a strong friendship. He recently attempted to make contact and I left him on read and I plan on leaving it that way. HOWEVER, I keep feeling pathetic. it feels like I'm saying "well since you don't want to be with me, you don't get me in your life" and it makes me feel manipulative and pushy. However, although I'm over him I find the entire relationship unsettling and somewhat triggering and I'm not interested in being friends and although I dont want him romantically, I'm also not interested in sitting around watching him live his life and I don't feel like he deserves my friendship or access to my life? I don't want to kiss my own ass but I have a lot of love in my heart and I'm a good friend. When I care about people, I cheer them on and I'm there. When he broke up with me/during our relationship he was cruel and I can only describe it as someone trying to beat the kindness out of me. He was miserable with his own life and did things to spite me/prove to himself he was undeserving of love by mentally tormenting me for giving it to him. It took me months to find that kindness again, I didnt want anything to do with another human being ever. Now he's back and I feel like he's trying to make amends and get a part of me he tried to destroy and I want nothing to do with it. Is this petty? Link to comment
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