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The way out of low self esteem.


Highsky
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For those who have/ever had experience with low self esteem, how do you cope with it?

I have been battling lowSE lately and it affects my daily life constantly. I feel low about myself as a person(my character and traits) and about my social situation. I got out of a relationship that triggered this problem.

I sometimes feel there is no way out of it because although my reason kinda sees the things rationally(that I have no big reason to have such a very low self esteem) my heart feels totally opposite.

What are some tips for fighting it and how should I see this problem? Share your experience with me.

Thank you in advance!

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I fought low self esteem by exercising, getting back into shape, lost 35 pounds, ate right, took care of my health, looked and felt great. I started to enjoy what I like to do such as surround myself with high quality friends, focused on family, hobbies, interests, went on outings, counted my blessings, learned gratitude and enjoyed life!

 

The more I thought about my esteem, the more depressed and lonely I felt. The more distracted I became, the better I felt and my low self esteem transformed into high self esteem and regained self confidence. Change your mindset and then a new you will become habit forming.

 

You'll attract others because they will perceive your security.

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Getting in shape is a good starting point. Not necessarily only for the physical benefits, but also the mental ones. The hormones that kick in after a good workout create a pleasant buzz, a healthy one. It helps you feel good about yourself and the more you take care of yourself by being active and eating well, the more that inner light projects outwards.

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low esteem is tough, it takes loads of patience to work on yourself, it could be anything you know, taking up new hobbies, may be check out new places alone, contributing to noble causes.Staying in good shape during such times really helps.

 

i walk 8-10 kms whenever i can it, it could be over weekends when am off work or if am early from work i just go out walk, the feeling after that is quite good.

cleaning up house, cleaning your car, bike or shaping/cutting the grass all works.

 

You need to push yourself that hard in such situation, believe me it gets better one day after the other.

One fine day you see that you feel far better and then you naturally explore for more

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Two of 3 respondents assume low self esteem is because of weight and physical appearance ?

Why is that??

 

Did I miss something??

 

Well, since you asked - yes. You did.

 

You entirely missed the point that getting in shape and taking care of oneself can boost one's confidence. I encourage you to read my post again if you didn't understand that.

 

You also missed the fact that I didn't assume OP's problems were down to weight and appearance. Nowhere did I say that.

 

And yet, you didn't offer any suggestions at all. It would be more productive to contribute to the thread with your own ideas instead of being presumptuous and snippy.

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Well, since you asked - yes. You did.

 

You entirely missed the point that getting in shape and taking care of oneself can boost one's confidence. I encourage you to read my post again if you didn't understand that.

 

You also missed the fact that I didn't assume OP's problems were down to weight and appearance. Nowhere did I say that.

 

And yet, you didn't offer any suggestions at all. It would be more productive to contribute to the thread with your own ideas instead of being presumptuous and snippy.

 

I apologise if you think I was presumptuous and snippy.

I actually was the first responder to the post which I believe was productive. Focusing on the positive?

 

What does “getting in shape” mean if it has nothing to do with weight and appearance?

 

I’m genuinely asking?

The only presumption I made was that perhaps the op is known to others?

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What does “getting in shape” mean if it has nothing to do with weight and appearance?

 

I already explained this in both my posts.

 

It's okay if it's a suggestion you don't agree with. It does not mean it doesn't work for others, though. I would not be so quick to judge and dismiss simply because you do not understand the connection. We can agree to disagree without the snipes.

 

OP can decide if it's advice that they want to take on board or not.

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The best solution is to get a checkup from a physician and rule out physical problems and get a referral to a therapist. Helplessness, hopelessness, ruminating and self-defeating thoughts many be signs that you need treatment. Most breakups can leave you feeling low and sad, but if it is extreme, protracted or recurrent get some help with that. It takes time.

 

In the mean time do some self esteem building activities. Get in shape, improve your health, diet, activity level. Take some courses/classes, learn some new things. Join some clubs and groups that interest you. Volunteer and start meeting people and making new friends.

I have been battling lowSE lately and it affects my daily life constantly. I got out of a relationship that triggered this problem. I sometimes feel there is no way out of it.

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What helped me, was making my life full.

 

When you make your entire world around one person, you get lost. This is never healthy as you should have balance.

 

I got involved with everything: classes, started new hobbies, Meet ups, and volunteering. Volunteering has been the most rewarding and I have made many friends. You need to get yourself out there!

 

I also suggest regular exercise and a good diet. it will all fall together, but you have to make the effort.

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Getting in shape is a good starting point. Not necessarily only for the physical benefits, but also the mental ones. The hormones that kick in after a good workout create a pleasant buzz, a healthy one. It helps you feel good about yourself and the more you take care of yourself by being active and eating well, the more that inner light projects outwards.

 

I agree. It is meditative for me. Helps me destress.

 

I also feel better when I am in shape.

Edited by Hollyj
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Thank you all for your comments, they are very helpful.

 

@Sarah

Well, i am at a point where I only focus on my bad traits, like being immature and co-dependent on people around, being clingy and too emotional. I have been trying to work on all of these, but not big results, because I haven’t got enought time for myself at this point(I study literally continuously for my final exam) and also I always fail and disspoint myself again.

I also was raised in a “small world” with narrowed horisons, with low education level and many other financial and social lacks and this is another reason of low self esteem.

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Thank you all for your comments, they are very helpful.

 

@Sarah

Well, i am at a point where I only focus on my bad traits, like being immature and co-dependent on people around, being clingy and too emotional. I have been trying to work on all of these, but not big results, because I haven’t got enought time for myself at this point(I study literally continuously for my final exam) and also I always fail and disspoint myself again.

I also was raised in a “small world” with narrowed horisons, with low education level and many other financial and social lacks and this is another reason of low self esteem.

 

If you have time to think negatively about yourself , you have time to think positively.

 

You don’t need time to raise your self esteem. You need to change your outlook.

 

How you were raised,where you were raised, financial input etc have nothing to do with you as an individual.

 

Every time you think something negative about yourself , remind yourself about two positives!

 

Are you kind? Generous? Etc

 

Now that you have told us what you perceive to be negative traits. , can you tell us the positives?

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Two of 3 respondents assume low self esteem is because of weight and physical appearance ?

Why is that??

 

Did I miss something??

 

Granted, weight and physical appearance isn't everything. I get that, however, there is a strong sound body, sound mind connection.

 

I was merely sharing my personal experience. Whenever I don't workout regularly, I feel down in the dumps meaning my self esteem plunges to beneath low! That all changes after I workout and I feel like a million buck$. Then couple that with eating right, remaining slender, fit and self confidence soars. I can take on the world. I like myself better and I treat others better, too.

 

People can perceive your security by how you carry yourself and supreme health gives you that sense of overall well being. Exercise is a great stress reliever, gives a person the power of positive thinking and whatever it does to the body is gravy.

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