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Im 23 and i had one serious relationship in my life.


To begin with my first relationship was with a crazy girl. i dont want to go in to much detail with her but she was kinda narcissistic and mentally damaged BUT here comes the point, she was beautiful and i actually thougt i learned from that.


So a quick view of my first relationship: i was naive and she love bombed me in the first week, after that she treated me like s*** but i was already kinda attached to her. Day after day i lost my self worth more and got more confused cause she was playing mind games and so on. She said we were a couple but later cheated on me with a friend of mine. Stupid as i was, i thougt it was my fault and forgave her. Some time later she was very clingy for a year but then broke up with me out of nowhere although i already had a tough time. I was down to the ground again but made it out of that situation.


As she noticed that i was in a better mood, she started to love bomb me again, I refused and she started to stalk me and even bring her mother up to my house, telling me that she really misses me. She even drove up to my friends house and talked to him. On top of that, when she found out i was dating another girl, she accused me of rape attempt in the past I knew that she was using gasliighting on me but my mind was so prepared that i could see through that. Well, i was over her and so happy that i didnt felt one damn thing anymore, was focusing on myself again.



So i didnt thougt that the past relationship affects me but now i see how it does.



After that i had 2 chances to get into a realtionship BUT as i got to know the girls somehow my interest vanished. i liked them but there wasnt really a feeling, They were a bit clingy and so i continued dating to find someone that fits me.


1 year later, i met this girl in a club. I cant really describe that feeling but to me she again had something magic and beautiful. My gut feeling kinda warned me already that i shouldn't approach her as she gave me signs of interest. I had the feeling like i already knew this girl or that we met in the past but we surely did not. she thought the same though


So she walked over and talked to me and i dont know what this is and im not proud of it either but it was like falling in love instantly with something about her.


At that moment i already knew that im f*** because i already had an attachment to that girl.


so we texted for weeks, she asked me out 3 times, flaked all of them but didnt stoped hitting me up. I was again confused and my self worth was dying again. but i couldnt get rid off her.


When i saw her again in the same Club she was flirty with other guys, its was like a roller coaster with my feelings. Other women i dated with less insterest from my side did the same but i didn't care. After that she hit me up again said that we really need to see us.


suddenly she flaked again and begged me to forgive her, promised to make it up to me the next days i simply said "no thats it" and she said "please, im sorry" but i deleted her chat. After 2 weeks im still sick to the stomach that it ended this way. And im wondering why i have these feelings for someone that i barely know and why im so attached to her. I hate myself for that so much.



So my mind is overflooded with trying to figure out why she keeps showing interest but flakes all of the time and why it wont work and if somethings wrong with me. I know that im never getting an answer on these questions maybe she's to young or i dont know. All i know is that she doesnt respect me because she kept on palying this "lets meet up i really like you - im sorry but something came in between but i really want to see you" game.


Im not even that immature that i would be dumb and fall for a women by her looks. its something else.


But the problem i figured out is that i only have high interest in a women if shes playing hard to get or play with me anyway. But the women that are avaiable and show srious interest in me doesnt bother me at all.

And it freaks me out that i only feel love in alliance with pain. I had bad dating expieriences this year but it didnt affected me like this one does.

Whats also kinda weird is that the girls i do fall in love with always have the same look and appereance, i dont know if its normal or not. I mean yeah some girls are pretty but the type of women that i like always have something magical.

I dont wanna seem like a immature little kid, but this really affects my life and my selfesteem/selfworth.


Is there someone who had experiences like that and knows how to fix this false image of love? Or am i still just immature? How can i get rid of this person completely


Sorry for the long text i dont know what information is necessary and im not used to forum's. Also sorry for some bad english


Be straight up to me! tthank you!

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You're looking at all the wrong places. High quality women are not at singles bars.


Take a break from women until you change the way you think. Stop the attraction to women who play mind games. You enjoy the thrill and once you're in a relationship, reality sets in and you don't like it. Concentrate on reality and then you'll have a clear mindset regarding what it means to have a stable, harmonious, respectfully NORMAL relationship.


If you wish to part ways with her, tell her the truth. Tell her that both of you don't have anything in common, you've since lost interest and prefer to move on. Be honest and make a clean break.


In the future, know that looks are only a veneer to one's true character. Concentrate on character because character is enduring. Looks fade, people age, get old and character is what matters.

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Dude, stop making all of your decisions with your d*ck. There are plenty of girls that have a good value system and have the looks, but you seem to only go for the looks and women who treat you like garbage. After this woman flaked on you the first time, you should have been done. Unfortunately, you kept running back showing her you had zero self respect and that you were a doormat. You need to seriously address why YOU allow people to treat you this way.


Get some help for your emotional unavailability/trust issues or you will never seek out a healthy relationship.

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