My ex is mad I slept with someone else

[Hollyj]

I agree with Holly.

She's claiming low income so is receiving child benefits for 7 kids, plus assistance ( welfare?), plus legal aid, plus every church and community organization would be there helping her.

That's not money management , that's counting govt subsidies as money you earned.

This is two adults who chose to have 7 children, and I don't believe society is responsible for that. They both have means to work, not disabled, and to plan for providing for these kids.

And it's true, here children die with bio parents all the time because our system is so messed up in favour of biological moms.

It's nice to not want your kids in daycare, but it's not on other people to make that happen for you. She doesn't plan to work for years yet, because she knows she can make enough living off the govt. And then they will pay for her school because she is a single mother.

Meanwhile people like you, Seraphim, had to fight tooth and nail just to get the govt to acknowledge your son needs help. And people who choose to not have children they can not afford, they have zero help either.

She knows how to play the system , and she thinks that's money management. There are plenty of women out there not working, " I'm a mom first, employee second", because they realize they make more money having kids.

 

And yes, as a married woman, she shouldn't have been out having a one night stand risking yet another freaking pregnancy. It's the mentality that gets me. She's entitled. That's why she got so nasty that anyone would dare to ask how she had planned to take care of her kids in case of regular life bumps. No plan. That's irresponsible. Both parents in this are. It makes me sad for the kids.

 

I feel for the kids, too. They are setting a lovely example of how not to be a responsible/productive adult.

[Seraphim]

She isn’t actually religious at all. Most people here are not. But swearing at people might get you a ban .

[abitbroken]

Just a word of advice - when that year is up, you don't want the court to decide that you are the destitute wife on public assistance and husband with a job and his parents who have a big house an provide every need to win custody. I have hardly ever heard of a mother having a toddler or infant taken away, but all the kids in the middle except your daughter that is not his bio daughter - it could very well end up that way until you get on your feet with a job. I would show that you are trying to provide for these kids.

 

If your daughter has to rely on scholarships and grants and also has to work her way through school because you used your savings to keep a roof over your head, then so be it.

 

If you have special needs kids and receive money on their behalf, that's fine.

But at least in my country, if you have savings you can live off of that is not inaccessible, you don't get welfare.

I think you need to go to a lawyer to compel your husband to fork over part of his paycheck to pay for the basic expenses for these kids and in the meantime, worry less about your savings and more about maintaining things for your kids.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread closed...