DKA Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 My wife and I recently separated after 10 years of marriage. Both in mid 50's. Kids are from previous marriages and all grown and gone. We had an argument about recurrent issues, stopped talking and are living in separate houses at the moment. We have had issues for many years, my recurrent issues are that she is manipulative and controlling. She rolls her eyes at me, rarely listens to a full sentence I say before interrupting and is dismissive of my wants and needs. I know that a lot of those items are indications of emotional abuse, but if I bring it up, she turns it around and says I do the same thing. I've done some self inventory and realize that while I have many shortcomings, humility, honesty, kindness and compassion are not on the list. I have a big heart and very generous with my time, money and resources. But the woman I've been married to has never cared about those things or acknowledges those traits. And I keep on trying, only to be ignored or dismissed again. I've attempting to schedule a counseling session with a therapist for this week because I need a reality check of sorts. The circular and crazy talk when we engage is exhausting. I was glad we were apart for the first few days, but as is normal, I'm now having second thoughts, anxiety at night and all the break-up stuff I thought I had left behind years ago. It is tempting to reach out, but I know it's not a good thing to do. If we were to divorce, there is much in the way of finances etc that need to be settled. It's quite heart wrenching and I don't have much of a support network. Our friends are mutual and I don't wish to share the above with them because I don't like putting people into uncomfortable situations. I could really use some advise. Thanks. Link to comment
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