RoninX Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 I'm in an odd predicament. I am dating a girl who is not over her ex. We've been dating a month and a half. I really like the girl but her behavior and everything has just been so strange. We first met, and the first day we met she told me about her ex and how she dated him two years, she caught him cheating on her with a maid and she had a lot of pride cause she's a nurse and he cheated on her with a maid. She told me all about how she snuck at his house and caught him, etc. So she told me that had a tumultuous relationship where she would see evidence of other ladies, question him on it and he would yell at her or berate her and then break up with her and she'd come crawling back to him or a few days later he would beg her to come back. She explained how he never took her out on dates, how she had to pay for her own rides to see him (she didn't have license or car), etc. Also how he told her he never wanted to be re-married as he had been divorced two times prior and she said she really wanted to be married again. Then further told me that he never said he was her boyfriend and never recognized her as that. Which confused me how he was cheating if she is stating that he never recognized her as a girlfriend? So, anyhow we went on first date and this is mostly what our first date was about. . We went on a third date with her friend out to a bar, she got pretty tipsy, and then afterwards she came back to my house and she initiated having sex with me. I wasn't even thinking it was gonna happen that fast and honestly I don't feel good about having sex with women while they are tipsy. The next morning I tried to have sex with her again (I guess this was to assure myself she didn't just do it just because she was drunk.) and she told me "she was embarrassed" and she would have sex with me next time and she abruptly left early in the morning. I then tried to invite her over on another day and I told her I had stuff I had to do later on that day so I would like to see her Saturday at around 12 p.m. She told me she would see about it and never really confirmed. Then, Saturday morning I woke up early to try and confirm. She had worked Friday so she slept all night. She woke up at 10:30 a.m. and told me that I couldn't see her cause she had to get ready. I asked her for a time she'd be ready but she wouldn't give me one cause I was gonna come to pick her up. She never gave me a time, she would just keep telling me later, later. Then finally at 2 p.m. she wrote she was ready. It was quite odd that someone couldn't give an approximate time they'd be ready. Again I saw her, I took her to a nice restaurant (she stated her ex never did so I wanted to show her she was worth it) and as we were leaving one of her ex's friends saw us. She appeared so scared abd was afraid her ex's friend would tell her ex. Afterwards, we went out to the movies, came back to my house, she insisted she drink, then she had sex with me again while drunk woke up the next morning and again left very early. The next week I tried to see her on her days off three times and she would tell me she probably could come. The day of would come and she got off at 2 p.m then I'd ask are you gonna be able to meet up tonight and she'd tell me she was gonna tell me "later". I found it quite puzzling someone would need to let me know if they were going to see me on that day later. Then, later on I'd ask and she'd cancel saying she's tired. Finally we saw each other and she told me that her ex's friend told her ex about me and that he said all sorts of bad things about me and "got in her head" about me. Her ex was about 8 years older than her and I am around her age so her ex stated I was a young guy and I was gonna play with her, etc and that she is now getting a big head cause a guy took her out to an expensive restaurant. She told me that's what made her apprehensive about seeing me. In my own thought I honestly thought she may have been seeing this guy. I've tried to show her how great of a man I can be by taking her out, introducing her to my friends, etc. She never texts me she's thinking of me, how my day is, nothing. She continually talks about this ex, sends me text messages the ex sent her. The only time it seems like she has any sort of personality is when we talk about her ex. She won't hold my hand, she won't cuddle with me, she won't show any affection cause she says she's "not ready" but she slept with me twice. I finally told her let's just be friends and I will go and date other people and if i am still single when she's over her ex we can continue. Then she told me she I am impatient and I should wait for her to be more comfortable to cuddle, text me she misses me, etc. And then she told me I am pressuring her and I told her all the pressure is removed if we just stop having sex, we remain friends and I pursue other women and when she's ready if I happen to be single and she is we can continue but she said she "doesn't like that". I told her how long am I to wait? It's so difficult to be in this degregated relationship and I have no end in sight. I feel like I am in competition with this guy and what sucks even more is that he is still seeing other girls, living his life up while he is still able to control her and make whoever she tries to move on with's life a nightmare trying to date her. It's like he holds all the cards. I hate her situation but at the same time the misery has kind of just bled into my self esteem to know that I can't even get her attention off an awful guy like he was to her. She said used to yell at her, berate her, kick her out, constantly cheat on her, etc. The whole situation is just totally confusing and I don't know whether or give up or hold out. Any advice? Link to comment
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