Jimraynorp Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Hey guys. I have been posting stuff here a couple of times... about the same relationship actually. Anyway I am highly analytical but mindblowingly bad at reviewing my own situation. So without futher due, here is my story, and any advice is deeply appreciated. Long story short, my ex and I were together for allmost 2 years. It was the best time of my life. She ended up dumping me twice within a couple of months telling me she didn't love me anymore and needed to figure out her stuff. She had been extremely stressed about her studies, and I had also been feeling down. We were still living together for allmost 3 months, and during those months, we got pretty close again. She moved out, but we still saw alot to each other doing couple stuff like cuddling, kissing and enjoying each others company. For a time it seemed like it was what she really wanted. We did however agree that we would take no more than one step at a time. But from here on nothing aditionally happened. I wanted her to make up her mind, which she couldn't, because she still had her exams. I felt like I was the one making sure that we had this "relationship" by making the contact, as she became more distant, when we weren't together - I had to personally call her to figure out if she had passed her exams(which she did with all except 1), where I had expected her to make contact, because I had been there for her the whole time. Eventually I got tired of it and hurt, as it didn't seem that she cared for me the same way - she even told me if word got out about us seeing each other, she would deny it all, as we have the same friends (talking about a slap in the face). She was going away on a vacation, and I told her, that by the time, she got home, I wanted an answer from her. In the meantime I got this really important summer vacation job far away, so I wanted things to be clear, when I left, which was a little difficult. I wrote to her that I wanted things to work out between us, but I didn't have any clue, what she wanted. I wrote that I could easily come by a weekend, so we could work things out once and for all, but I also felt like I had done enough, so she would have to come by, if she really wanted it to happen - if she didn't, I would take it as a clear sign that things between us were over for good. I then called her the day I left(the same day she got home), and she told me, that she wouln't come, because she had to figure out her life. She wanted to stay in contact, especially because we have a mutual interest with mutual friends, but I told her, I could never do that, because I would never be able to move on. So we are now in NC. My guts tell me that I made the right decision. I am nowhere near perfect myself, but even writing this it makes me a little angry, cause she upviously didn't feel the same and still didn't tell me. Deep down I think, she knew from the start, that she would never come back, and allthough I was the one making things happen, I still feel used, because she let it happen. But my feelings make me question myself, if I made the right decision, and if I should have acted differently at some point. If she at one point tells me, she wants to be together again, I honestly think I would say yes(some serious talking first though, but still embarrassed to say it) - love truly makes you blind... What do you guys think? As allways I appreciate any thoughts. Link to comment
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