Npgirl09 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I’ve been with my bf for a year now (me: 25, him: 31) and I recently took notice to this cough that he does. It’s kind of like a combo of snorting and then it sounds as though he’s about to spit out phlegm in his throat. (Note-he is not a smoker, has never been a smoker.) Thinking back to the year we’ve been together, I think he’s always done this but it stood out to me at the beginning of this year. There has not been a single day that has gone by that he doesn’t do it since I took notice, and he does it throughout the day. Now the times he has spent the night, he has woken up in the middle of the night multiple times to do it in the bathroom. My apartment is super tiny so I wake up and have to hear it which makes me mad because it throws my whole sleep cycle off. I can imagine it really sucks for him too. There are periods of time he doesn’t do it for a few hours or if we are at a restaurant, in public, or meeting with a group of people we aren’t too familiar with. I think he is cautious and makes sure to not do it. The second we are alone though he will begin to do it again. There are times I have said “That cough doesn’t sound good, are you getting sick?” Or “have you ever gotten that cough checked out?” Or “you’ve been coughing all day, are you ok?” His response is normally just “I don’t know” or “I don’t know what’s going on” or “This is not a cough, I’m clearing my throat” or as of lately just flat out ignores me and changes the subject immediately. He had been to the Dr. a few months ago and got a chest check up when he was sick and didn’t have any issues, so I don’t think he actually has any type of inflammatory issue. I feel so bad because it looks like it’s something he can’t help but doing, and after researching online it could be a tic. My dad did this type of cough most of my childhood and the sound of it has always bugged me so I guess I know where this stems from. Of course I know that I do/say things that annoy him all the time, so of course I’m not perfect. I understand this could be immature of me and I should fully accept it if I care about him, but I’m having a hard time fully getting over it. There are days It doesn’t bother me at all, but then there are days that do. Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Can anyone give me any tips on how I can make myself not care so much about this? I believe that telling him it bothers me would be extremely rude as it would be the same as him telling me he hates it when I sneeze; it’s something we can’t help but do. Please help. Link to comment
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