Lucha Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 New thread. A few weeks ago I posted about the woman I dated for half a year, who had relapsed into alcohol abuse and became a completely different person. She went from sweet, compassionate girlfriend to almost pure evil, constantly engaging in sarcastic and ironic demeaning comments, pushing me away and pulling me back in, late night phone call rants about what an awful person I am for stating and maintaining my boundaries (told her I was by no means ging to continue this relationship if she did not seek help for her substance abuse, but I did wanted to support her as a friend and maybe help in facilitating her contacts with her previous psychologist/doctor). Also rants about how I probably already had a new girlfriend or should get one, about my lifestyle, about my personality. About my inability to ‘argue’ and how diplomatic I always remain. I was called a selfcentric person who was and will be never there for her, would never be able to maintain any longterm relationship and if I so much as mention any of this to her doctor or counselor, she would ‘literally murder me’. After that no contact for ten days now. Initially I was doing okay, felt kind of numbed and seemed to not experience any emotions regarding the breakup. I did not cry or felt angry or dissapointed or anything for that matter. I did feel fear. Right now I still feel numb, I have been having trouble concentrating and sleeping and have been experiencing vivid dreams that seem to get worse every night. Last night I had the most terrifying nightmare of my ex who transformed into a monster that was chasing me and trying to kill me. I woke up feeling extremely anxious and even a little paranoid and for the second time in my life ever had to take Alprazolam to calm down. As I work in the medical field myself I know these could be symptoms of ptss. Or maybe just symptoms of a bad breakup? There was never any actual physical trauma, only the threat of ‘if you talk to my doctor I will murder you’, said in a complete rage through a phonecall and of course the weeks of demeaning phonecalls (emotional abuse?) previous to this. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced this after a breakup! (I of course try to maintain no contact. But we live in the same city and I find myself anxious to even go out - what if we bump in to eachother?) Worth mentioning we are still facebook-connected - but I dread blocking her out of fear for ‘waking the beast’... we are now completely silent with eachother and I fear removing her as a friend or blocking her will cause a new rage.. I can almost literally feel her enormous anger towards me at this moment.. I know her as a very, very resentful person (which was a red flag early on in this relationship, I know). Any tips on how to navigate this? Ps: I have been seing a therapist since 3 years every month, so will of course talk to her about this as well.. but I’m interested in other people’s experiences with this and also a little overwhelmed by this dreams I keep having... Thanks! Link to comment
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