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I feel my girlfriend is too restrictive


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So basically we are both young and each other’s first everything pretty much. I feel she’s restricting me too much at this point t and we are constantly arguing every day. Now this is back story to inform the reader to maybe find out where this all went wrong. Everything major I’ve done “ wrong “


1) found a new girl two months after my gf broke up with me and went on a date with her then the next day my gf and I went on a date.

2) I hung out with a very good (girl) friend of mine and we went thrifting all day and ate dinner after. Nothing brazy and she knows I don’t loke her

3) I had A friend of mine “M” come to my house with two other guys for a little and didn’t tell my GF.


Now I understand why someone could be mad about certain things. But here’s a lists she gets mad about and things that bother me


1) if I hangout with a group of friends and if there’s on single girl she will get annoyed.


2) she got mad I wanted to go to a friends b day party with my bros and didn’t invite her. M


3) She gets mad at me for smoking and act like I can just stop one day when I’m pretty addicted.


4) She can be very childish even when Im trying to have a serious convo.


5) I’m not allowed to go with my friends to my GF’s friends party Bc she can’t make it.


6) I’m not allowed to join a frat even tho she knows it’s my life dream.


7) I have to constantly give her my attention and call her every night. Yes I text her but when I’m with my friends I don’t rlly go on my phone and it makes her mad.


8) I’m not allowed to go to a party with my friends only, she has to be there.


9) if I get High I need to tell her... but when I tel her she gets mad at me so there’s literally no point in telling her.


10) I’m not allowed to give girls rides to a common destination even tho we part ways right when we get out the car.


11) she thinks my friend will influence me to do bad things to hurt her.


12) if me and my friends and my gf are all together she expect me to give her my attention the whole time over my friends and gets mad/sad if I don’t


13) she got mad me and 5 friends slept over at someone’s house (a girls) because we were too intoxicated to drive home


14) she got mad I forgot to tell her I was home at 4am after I decided to wait to sober up before going home. I was tired af didn’t even put my phone on the charger


15) she pretty much doesn’t like my friends and wants my attention 24/7


Now today is her birthday and I sent her an essay on how much I love her. All she could reply is “you didn’t even call me ?” It’s 12am btw. So I call her and talk a bit but I’m busy and said ill call her back in 10. It takes longer and was actually another 40 min till I was done and she goes on a fat rant and cried and makes me feel like sh*t Because I didn’t call her. So we get in another argument ! How fun ! Just bc I was busy she’s mad at me ! I didn’t want this to go on the arguing so I told her I’m tried if this all. All the arguing and we need to fix it. We keep going on and on and the whole time I’m being serious while she’s being sarcastic and childish. I tell her how I feel and she tells me it’s been a cycle and she doesn’t see it getting any better. I told her (in a nice way obviously) I feel she’s controlling and has no trust in me as well as very stubborn and can never admit she’s wrong.


She flipped out (obviously)

Childish x100

Sarcasm x100


Now I’ll admit it I say a lot of white lies mostly about if I’m getting high or smoking but most of the time I just don’t say anything. I don’t flat out lie and say I didn’t do it. She tells me I can tell her but when I do she gets mad



We “broke up” but obviously this isn’t over

And I just wanted to see other people’s opinions about this.

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It may be best to end it and enjoy being single. You seem to get on each other's nerves too much. Join a frat, be a stoner, get it all out of your system.

She gets mad at me for smoking and act like I can just stop one day when I’m pretty addicted.

I’m not allowed to join a frat even tho she knows it’s my life dream.

she got mad me and 5 friends slept over at someone’s house (a girls) because we were too intoxicated to drive home

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This isn’t a relationship. This is a dictatorship. Break up with her, block her number, and go live your college life!! You will never get these days back. After college, real life starts. House, bills, kids, work, and those responsibilities will last the rest of your life. You’ll never be this free to enjoy life again. And you’re really going to regret wasting this time being policed by some psycho girlfriend.

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You have found out why you may be attracted to her--at first. Her attentions are way intense, all focused on you. sounds nice, right?


But, the catch is, you cannot have any other interest in return.


if you are in college, this is way to restrictive!


Actually, in your whole life it is the same way. married or not.


You are young, single, and in college. enjoy that--away from her.


Make new friends, date other people. Not all of the women are so controlling. Avoid the ones who are.

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She is a typical young woman who is insecure in her relationship because her boyfriend (likely) if very often not making her his priority. I read in your opening post that you are often out one on one with your female friends (that, IMO, should change when you are in a committed relationship). You are often out with your friends wherein she's not invited., You get drinking too much to drive and she's at home wondering what you're doing without her.


There is a lot of taking for granted and when that happens, resentment occurs. When someone is not being made to feel valued, then insecurity and anxiety and attempts to control comes into play.


I think you are both far too young to be in anything serious or exclusive, (at least you are, I think she would be a lot less insecure/controlling with someone that was more mature and into exclusive relationships wherein it is known that nurturing of that relationship needs to take place). As such, you stay single now that you've broken up and go off an drink and hang out one on one with your female friends, drink and smoke and hookup (because it's clear that is the head space you are currently in) and let her find someone more compatible to her readiness to be coupled up.


Good luck at college and your frat house. Don't forget to study and get good grades. You are there to get a degree after all.


I've 'schooled' you enough now... peace out!

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You're on your way to a controlling restrictive relationship where you pay attention to her and then go back in the closet like a tool she uses when she wants to. Break up with her and stay broken up. Did your gf initiate that date after finding out you went out with another girl? Seriously just break up with her and never go back to her no matter what. it's just not worth it, you're going to waste your life on her. Also try to quit smoking cause that's just as bad as this girlfriend.

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You're both not meant to be together...not even remotely. I see where her concerns are but that she's with you in the first place and not recognizing that you're not compatible is equally as unsavoury. Both of you should cool it and let this relationship run its course/die out. She's very unhappy around you and is expecting a different type of relationship. You both also seem to have different personalities and are on different levels of commitment with very different language/communication styles. Date around more and meet other women and see what relationships are about and what it takes.


Right now you're a bit cocky (sorry, I'm being honest) and PO'd at her. You think you're supposed to have free rein hanging out with anyone you want and telling her (selectively) when you're high or when you smoke even though you know it bothers her. Here's a reality check: In relationships there are boundaries and it's up to a couple what is ok and what is not ok. She's entitled to feeling uncomfortable about your friends or whatever girls are around you. It's a litmus test also for how much you both trust each other and how well your personalities get along.


Another reality check: The stability of home or a relationship often depends on a partner's good decisions and decisions that each partner can trust and depend on. You're just not that type of guy for her. You might not tell bad lies but you omit info. Omissions of truths are just as bad as lies and you shouldn't be lying to get away with being with who you are. Neither of you are behaving respectfully to each other and I get it. You don't feel good either. Take that time out for real and don't rush back into anything with her. You both don't sound good for each other and are bringing out the worst in each other.

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Well, some things, like smoking, getting high, and hanging out or going on what looks like dates without ever introducing these singe women too her are bad, and she has a right to mention it, she is actually trying to help you.


But she may have an issue. Google narcissist, commonly called control freak. You have some reading to do.


Also, some healthy space apart might be good if you don;t live with her, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

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If you are of the age to pledge a fraternity, you are way too young for a relationship this serious. And she is way too immature.


There are some things--like lying, etc.--that aren't good on your behalf, but part of that is your age. And her insisting on talking to you at certain times is also age.


It is probably time for a break. If you are soon to go to college, you will meet many, many other young women and you should be free to date whomever you please! Now is not the time for a serious relationship!

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