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Hi, 5 months ago I got into a new relationship. I had been single for about 5 months beforehand and honestly, was making the most of it (kissed every guy out out just to experience it).

Anyway, I got close to a boy who I really liked (my current boyfriend who I am in love with) but literally the day after he asked me to be his girlfriend I went on a night out and kissed a couple of guys. I honestly think it’s purely because i was so used to doing this, I was incredibly drunk.

I have now been in this relationship for nearly 6 months and I absolutely adore the boy but I feel horrendously guilty for kissing another guy just one day after he asked me out!! I haven’t told my boyfriend and I really don’t know what to do. I honestly wouldn’t dream of doing anything like this now !

Help 😞

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At least you have a conscience! I commend you for it because a lot of people are very clear with their consciences despite the bad things they do such as deceive, betray, lie and steal.


You have two choices. Confess to your boyfriend about kissing and being drunk while risk losing him. He might walk. Or, carry your guilt and behave yourself from now on.

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What is your motivation for telling him?

You say you feel horribly guilty. Is it to relieve the feelings of guilt?

I am not advocating being dishonest, but there are times that it's best to leave it be. This is one of them.

You would relieve your guilt at his expense.


You seem remorseful. It was only at the very onset of the relationship and it isn't exactly earth shattering.

Learn your lesson and be a better girlfriend for having done so.


If you feel you need to tell him, be prepared to break up with him too.

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Find another way to relieve your guilt, and consider whether you still have boundary control issues or not. If you do, find a way to work on them. If you don't actually have boundary issues now, chalk it up to awkward things you did at the start. While not as problematic, I'm sure he did some awkward things at the start. Everybody does.


How long had you been seeing him before this happened? What did "asked me to be his girlfriend" mean to you at the time?

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It's not that big of a deal. It would be a big deal if you did it now. Just let it go. If you bring it up now, it would seem your trying to cause un-nessary trouble and if that's the case, then you need to look at why you would want that.


Welcome back JJ, haven't seen you in awhile. :)

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I'm sorry this is eating at you, I can understand why. It's good that you feel guilty, and obviously you'd never do it again. But I feel like if you don't tell him, it might always be something that's between the two of you, at least for you? If you're in love and really serious about the relationship, you may regret letting it go farther without telling him. Because if you tell him 2 or 3 years from now, then he could be hurt not only by what you did but also by your not telling him for so long.


Just a thought. At the end of the day, it's up to you, and I'm sure you'll make the right choice either way. You sound like a caring and conscientious girlfriend and he's lucky to have you!

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It depends on you. If it's eating you up this badly, I'd consider having that conversation and being frank. He may need a moment to process and you should be prepared. In the bigger scheme of things this shouldn't end a relationship. I wouldn't tolerate him holding this against you either or using it against you at a later time. Be honest but don't be anyone's punching bag either. Good luck.

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