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How to let go of a toxic girl that hurt my feelings over and over again


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Hello everyone,

 

If you'll read my previous posts, you'll see that I (28) have been around on this forum for 4 years. In this 4 years, my now ex-ex GF (24) broke up with me 2 times.

 

The first time in august 2018 after a relationship of 3 years. After this break up, I was devastated, couldn't eat, couldn't laugh. I went to see a psychologist to try and become better. With time, I got better, I tried to forget her because she hurt my feelings too much. But I somewhere, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I managed to live my own life without her, but I always had the feeling I was missing something (her I guess?).

 

I never thought we would get back together, but in March 2019 it suddenly happened. We decided to communicate more and things were going well..

She insisted on going on a holiday to Italy, although I wanted to wait a little bit, because we just got back together.. In the end, we decided to go on a holiday and we got back last week.

On the holiday everything seemed alright and good. She kissed me a lot, so there was no lack of affection. When we got back, she bought tickets for a concert in November, so she was planning things in the future.

All our friends and family were happy because we got back together.

 

Now when we were broken up (august 2018 - march 2019), she had sex with 3 different guys multiple times. I said I wouldn't judge her for this, but that I would appreciate it that she didn't talked to those guys again. Like she could say hello and stuff, but don't chat or text message because that would hurt my feelings. She understood this. In some sort of way, her sleeping with other guys after she dumped me, felt as cheating. Because if she didn't dumped me, and worked on our problems, she never would have slept with those guys.

 

3 weeks ago, one of her guys (let say X) she had sex with texted her again and was literally asking for sex. She didn't respond to the text message of X (which was good I thought)

 

Fast forward to this weekend, there was a party in our neighborhood and I knew that X would be present. I asked my ex-GF to not talk to X out of respect for me.

At the party, she did talked to him several times and when I confronted her with this, she was angry and told me she couldn't be herself and that I didn't trust her and she ended things with me.

 

She now has ended things with me twice and i'm exhausted and heartbroken all over again. The day she broke up with me, she went partying until 8 in the morning while I was crying at home.

 

My family warned my she would hurt me again, but I didn't listen to them and give her a second chance. She could give me the best feeling in the world and we had great sex.

Right now I want to forget her, but i'm afraid no one will ever make me feel the way she made me feel. And i'm afraid i'll always be nostalgic to the times we were happy and will never be satisfied with someone else..

 

I know she is toxic for me, she always comes back to me after a period of time and tries to be friends or tries to have sex with me. I'm NC for 3 days and won't break it. But I want to know WHY, why did she dumped me like I meant nothing to her..

 

Does someone has the same feeling here or has been the same situation in the past? I need your advice, because I can't handle this anymore. I can't eat, I can't sleap, I can't stop thinking of her :(

Edited by Pikachu
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Why are you keeping tabs on her personal communication and how do you have access to this? Are you hacking into her phone or accounts? You need to delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Stop stalking her and stop trying to micromanage her. Try to avoid her but if you run into her, be neutral. You are wasting your time on this. Get on dating apps and get your own gf.

3 weeks ago, one of her guys (let say X) she had sex with texted her again and was literally asking for sex. She didn't respond to the text message of X

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Why are you keeping tabs on her personal communication and how do you have access to this? Are you hacking into her phone or accounts? You need to delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. Stop stalking her and stop trying to micromanage her. Try to avoid her but if you run into her, be neutral. You are wasting your time on this. Get on dating apps and get your own gf.

 

Hi,

 

we only split up 4 days ago. So the message from person X was sent when we were still together..

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Hopefully no one else will make you feel the way she did. She's making you feel lousy!

 

Always is a long time. I can guarantee you will not "always" want her. Unless, of course, you CHOOSE not to move forward with your life and decide instead to cling to memories of her.

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People tell me she's that kind of person who is egocentric, and doesn't keep in mind other people's emotions. Lots of friends also tell me that she will always try to find a way to come back in my life when she needs me..

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People tell me she's that kind of person who is egocentric, and doesn't keep in mind other people's emotions. Lots of friends also tell me that she will always try to find a way to come back in my life when she needs me..

 

If that helps you to move on, then go ahead and think badly of her. Of course, all of that should give you even more reason not to want to attach yourself to her for "always".

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I totally understand the hurt that you feel when she talks to the other guy. However, you cannot tell a person whom they can speak with! That is controlling. She doesn't want to be controlled.

When he sent her the text, she didn't respond. This is a good thing. Chances are they ran in to each other at the party and neither wanted things to be awkward, so they spoke. Not a big deal. Do you know what they were talking about? Were they planning a tryst?

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Would you break up when your partner asked you this? I just consider this being respectful for your partner. I think she was just waiting to let me go again

 

That is exactly what I am talking about. If you claim you are being respectful, then be respectful and let it go. If you have suspicions, and you are dwelling on them, you are not being respectful.

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If your friends are telling you all this, be glad she's gone and you can start dating other women.

People tell me she's that kind of person who is egocentric, and doesn't keep in mind other people's emotions. Lots of friends also tell me that she will always try to find a way to come back in my life when she needs me..
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a few things... 1. you wanted her to respect you, but please tell me how controlling who she talks to (regardless of history) respects her? 2. You are afraid that you will never have better sex? 3. Did you learn from this?

 

I get what you were doing, but you knew this girl is a free spirit and you tried just a little bit too hard to hold on to her. But hey, you both got what you wanted. She got a trip and you got sex. So its a win for the both of you.

I can tell you that don't worry, you will find someone who will give you great sex.

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