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Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)


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24 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Plus my husband’s aunt she only met at my wedding and my husband’s cousin would be selling us the house same, but she was willing to throw me under the bus with the cat comment . 

Are you sure this arrangement will work and won't cause undue stress to you and your family? Do you feel you are backed into a corner and have no choice but to have her live with you? Any siblings she could live with for, say, half the year?

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47 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are you sure this arrangement will work and won't cause undue stress to you and your family? Do you feel you are backed into a corner and have no choice but to have her live with you? Any siblings she could live with for, say, half the year?

My brother has no room for her . He has a 2 bedroom place with his adult daughter and the place is a four level split and my mom can’t walk on stairs . Plus he is moving to the Philippines the second he retires . 

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I have realized I need 8 or 9 hours sleep or functioning is difficult on this medication. 
 

I am able to look at situations outside myself a lot better . I can give more sympathy . I am enjoying being in the moment though . 
 

Hubby is duty again on Sunday. Last week of this month he will be away in another province . He talked to his boss yesterday and told her there is zero reason for the toxic person to be there. Does she have a savoir complex or what? She did her stint her she needs to move on . There is no reason I as a person who is posted here needs to be uncomfortable. I had spoken to a harassment advisor and I will resume my case if she comes back . There is also another person that was trained by the toxic witch and this other person of lower rank treats my husband with disrespect. He said this will stop, I won’t tolerate it . I am so glad that he stood up for himself, and said how he feels.. he never would have spoken up in the past , ever . 

 

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My mom picks up her new medication today. It is one of the ones my husband is on. I really really really hope it works out for her, for her sake. I want her to feel better than she does. She breaks out in a total all over body rash when she has to leave her apartment. ( Hives)

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I went to the dentist in our old posting city yesterday. My mom didn’t constantly text me : where are you now, where are you now? Where are you now? Where are you now ? Every hour . So I think the Zoloft is working . Thank you god. She said well I worry about you and I said yeah but I’m fine you don’t need to ask me every hour if I’m OK. That’s called  anxiety not worried about your kid . I said that drives my own anxiety to unbelievable levels so you need to not do that. Trust that I am OK.

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Hubby’s psychiatrist added Ritalin to his cocktail of meds to give him a booster in paying attention in the afternoons when he needs it .  He is gone in four days for a week .Then we start our son’s birthday celebrations when he comes back. 
 

 

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Today hubby had the day off to clear up some stuff for his trip next week and get some of his project for his Masters done. 
 

He did a pharmacy run for prescriptions and a mini grocery run. 
 

Tomorrow he is going to a football game with his sister and then Sunday heading out for a work trip. 
 

I think my mom is doing better on medication although she says she feels exactly the same. I have noticed she doesn’t text me for every little thing. I plan on just brushing off the inane texting for no reason other than just comfort because it feeds that particular monster. 
 

We are starting to plan Thanksgiving because it is only 2 weeks away. 

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My mom has calmed down A LOT . I think the medication is working no matter her claims of “ feeling the same” I don’t have endless anxious texts all day long about the dumbest crap. No daily “ catastrophizing. THANK GOD for her sake as well as mine. She was making my anxiety way worse. Plus all her texting like everything was a major catastrophe and me placating her was just feeding into her anxiety and making it worse.

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Yesterday my mom admitted to feeling quite a bit better already and actually sleeping all night now . I told her that’s great. I’m glad you know getting help and feeling better is allowed. Papa would want you to be happy. He wouldn’t want you suffering in anxiety and silence. No one not even you are impervious to anxiety. I know my mom is from the generation that poo poos mental health and mental healthcare. She isn’t exactly like that. She is fine with other people having it or needing but not her , she doesn’t have problems. Well, she finally caved . I told her I can feel the difference in her energy even from here . Her energy is no longer frantic and I am happy for her . She is taking two classes and meeting up with friends and my step sister and her brother because he comes to the senior centre to have lunch with her after her class. All of this has greatly reduced my anxiety as well. 
 

I talked with hubby last night and he is steaming on at a good clip with this board. He should be finished two days early . He got good feed back from the person assessing him. They won’t be back early though because the guy is from there and not due to come back until Saturday . 
 

Yesterday in 2018 my daycare opened ! 

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My son and I forgot the garbage and green bin go out today for collection. It isn’t our chore so we forgot. After the bus drop off we were able to get the bins out before the truck comes for garbage pick up. 
 

My son and I went to the grocery store early evening yesterday and coming back onto base we saw a rather disheveled person stumbling out of the woods . Homelessness and poverty have skyrocketed since inflation and Covid. It was a problem in areas before and now it is an everywhere problem unfortunately. These poor people . 😓 There is nothing to be gained here though. The base is pretty much off limits unless you have a reason to be here . 

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I have to make an appointment for a medication check up with my doctor. He wanted me to make an appointment to see how the new medication was panning out . Great , I think. I don’t notice anxiety anymore and I sleep great. I sleep from about 9:30 to 6 AM when my alarm goes off and on weekends I sleep from about 10 PM to 8 AM the next day. I don’t wake up 99% of the time either. I don’t get upset  about things I can’t control. I don’t get upset or anxious at all. I kind of wish I had switched over in 2020 when he wanted me to. I would have got through Covid restrictions much better . 2 years of solid Covid restrictions was crazy hard. 

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