Metaler1200 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 So to basically explain this very confusing situation I'm in right now, about two months ago I met a girl on tinder and within the first week of just speaking to each other through text we hit it off fairly well, spoke mostly every day, would talk all the way up to about one or two in the morning, if she went to sleep I'd wake up to a message in the morning where she'd tell me that she was sorry that she fell asleep. About a week later we met up went to a movie, hit it off very well on that date. Kept speaking to each other, would keep going out on dates and everything between us was going very well. We eventually confessed to each other that we both liked each other, we then start kissing and eventually ended up having sex at her place. She also told me how she wanted a relationship at this point in her life and wanted one that was going to last forever and wanted to be married at some point in her life. And for the remainder of the two months I'd see her every week, we'd speak every single day, I'd wake up to a good morning text from her every day, We ended up having sex again. We'd kiss, cuddle, hold hands, she'd stay the night at my place and sleep in my bed and be cuddled up to me all night long. She didn't want to rush into a relationship because she was scared of me bailing on her because she told me that guys tend to get bored of her after two to three months and then they'd bail, she had also been cheated on by every single boyfriend she ever had, including walking in on it happening at one point, so she was also scared of being hurt. I told her that if she didn't want to rush things that was fine but that I was also scared too because every girlfriend I've ever had ends up leaving me for another guy. I told her that we need to heal together and learn how to trust together and that I'd never bail on her if she remained loyal to me and that I wanted us to be an exclusive thing where we'd only see each other and no one else and she agreed to this and everything remain normal. We kept seeing each other and going out on dates and talking every day, I told her I was planning on asking her out at some point and she said she didn't know what she'd say but that she really liked me because when guys approach her on the idea of being in a relationship she bails, she also told me that she gets a depressed episode every now and then and when it happens she pushes everyone away and begins to second guess her life, she also told me that she pushes people she likes away as well, Despite this I never noticed anything wrong and everything between us remained normal despite the fact we still weren't official. Then within the last two and a half weeks things went strange..I invited her to a party and I got way too drunk and ended up embarrassing her in front of people and told her way too much about my feelings and it actually made her leave but yet she kept talking to me the next day and she told me it was okay and I was just being drunk and stupid and she left because she didn't want me to mess things up, so then for about a few days it was still normal, and we had plans to go out and then she randomly ditched me telling me she had plans with her best friend even though I had asked and arranged it with her first, When I asked her she sent me a meme with the quotation "When you have to reject your crush because you are nowhere mentally stable enough for a relationship" upon further asking her she said that she was going through an episode and that she's no where near what I need and that I deserve better, I told her that I'm here for her if she wants to talk and that I care for her and all she said to me was that I shouldn't, yet even with this going on she kept reaching out to me but when I'd respond she would say nothing, so I admit I got a little mad at one point and told her if she wasn't going to say anything to not bother messaging me at all, She then told me that she doesn't know what to say and when I got her to talk she said she freaked out because she likes me, but she doesn't want to like me and doesn't want to like anyone and how she feels like I'm rushing her into something she doesn't know if it's a good idea or not, I told her it's okay and that we'll take things at a pace that makes her more comfortable and she can dictate how fast things go and that all she needs to do is talk to me instead of pushing me away, she said she was sorry and then for about an entire week she kept reaching out every day but she'd take almost an entire day to message me while be active on her social media accounts and I'd see her talking to her friends in comment sections on memes she'd post, we'd also went out to dinner during this and she told me she didn't want to think about dating until it was basically happening and I said it was okay and we'll take things her pace as long we can still remain an exclusive thing and she'd agreed, and then when I dropped her off at home she hugged and kissed me goodnight and we still kept talking every day for a few days, just with her taking forever to get back to me. Then I tried arranging plans with her again, only for her to bail on them, At this point I just straight up asked her what was going on and she told me that she feels like we took things too fast and how I like her more than she wants me to and how she realized I'm not a bad person and that she thinks I'm really sweet and kind and how she doesn't deserve any of it and how she wants to distance herself before she "s up" and hurts me for real because that's what she always does, I told her that It's not fair that she tells me that she wants a relationship and when I make a move forward she pushes me away, She told me it's because she really does like me and how she likes talking to me and spending time with me but that she's realized she's not ready for a relationship right now and how she just wants us to be friends while she sorts herself out and would rather see me happy without her than string me along, She told me that she does like me, but doesn't want to like me, doesn't want to like anyone, doesn't want to be romantically involved with anyone but really wants me in her life as her friend but that if I decided to walk away she'd understand and she wouldn't be mad but she still really wanted me around and that she's sorry for how she went about this and how she should of handled things better but then when I would ask if she did have romantic feelings for me she'd tell me that she did but not anymore and when I asked why, she said she didn't know and that she doesn't understand what's going on with her, and when I asked if this an episode she said she thinks it is, and that she thinks she's bipolar and this is one of the worst one's shes ever had and how she keeps hurting everyone around her and doesn't know how to stop. I eventually gave in and told her we can be friends while she sorts herself out, she then agreed to this and we remained speaking for a while, she was at a concert and was even messaging me at 3 in the morning, telling me how she wants to go to shows with me, I then tried arranging another date with her, she told me what day she'd be free and then on that day, I didn't hear from her at all and then I went about two days without speaking to her, broke and just sent her some funny memes to her facebook messenger, she replied to them instantly giving me laughing emojis but then when I asked "Are you still feeling kinda down?" she never opened the message at all and she's currently active on her social media accounts, posted some depressing memes on facebook and I saw all her friends commenting very positive stuff about her, I've seen no evidence of another guy. So I'm kind of at a loss here and that's why I'm posting it here, I've tried talking to my friends about it but they're all convinced she's sleeping around on me because she has a very promiscuous past but she's also told me multiple times that she's ashamed of it and wants someone to actually like her and doesn't want to be used for sex anymore, and I don't want to hear that from my friends because all my relationships ended with a girl randomly going cold on me and then dumping me for another guy and then I find out I was cheated on afterwards and I don't want to think about that possibility right now because it makes me immensely paranoid and stressed out. Is this her being depressed? Is she just commitment phobic? Or am I being played here? I like this girl a lot and would love to have a relationship with her and I don't want to give up on her right now but this is so confusing and stressful and it's been going on for two and a half weeks now, I want things between us to back to normal and it's great that we've spoke every day except for two days during this but I'm honestly just confused and wanting to see what the opinion of this forum would be. Link to comment
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