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My father smokes crack in front of me

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Okay so this is going to be a speed post: My father has been on drugs all of my life. He didn’t take care of me, my mother and aunt teamed up to get the job done. I heard bad things about him from other family members but I was his only child and I never saw any wrong he was perfect and I felt like a daddies girl. Anyway He came into my life full time when I was about 22 years old, it’s been a few years now. But so far I do not like him as a person, he’s a womanizer and uses women for money. He’s sleeping with a married woman, and he goes to visit her at her and her husbands house but they both lie and say that he’s her uncle he finds that hilarious. He smokes crack in front of me, steals , he’s self centered , he’s not who he pretends to be, he also gets angry with me and kick me out whenever he feels like it about petty things (I’m in the process of getting my life on track after divorce), he accused me of lying when I had a miscarriage and never apologized when he saw my scheduled D&C papers. He never seems to care about me, we don’t have a bond, he talks bad about me to people, he has chosen women over me , he talks down on sickly people who are his age, he’s rude to my mother and tells her how bad she looks now that she’s sick and of age, he practices witchcraft , and he lies omg The list just gets soooo long. Today we got into an argument and I told him that he’s not a good father and that he never was because my aunt basically took up his slack and I see why she never had anything nice to say because you behave very evil, and he replied and said “that’s why she’s dead now”. My father is 65 years old and I am his only child, I honestly have tried my hardest to have him in my life but I’m at my breaking point. Am I making the right decision by never speaking to him again? Also I do not hold a grudge against him, and I don’t hate him. I just don’t like him as a person and I think he’s a terrible father, and a terrible person.

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There is no rule saying you have to like or even tolerate family.


You are an adult and it seems living under his roof?

So he can of course smoke crack in front of you.

But no you don’t have to like it.

You do however have to tolerate it if you are living in his home. Why are you?

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You do not have to have a relationship with him. Delete and block him from all your messaging apps and social media.

He came into my life full time when I was about 22 years old, it’s been a few years now. But so far I do not like him as a person, he’s a womanizer and uses women for money.
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I understand wanting and needing to get to know your father despite what your mom and aunt told you about him. Relationships are complicated - and you needed to see it for yourself.


Now that you’ve seen it - and you’ve experienced it and understand it first-hand - what are you getting from this relationship?


Some people, unfortunately, are just trash. That’s really hard to understand sometimes when you’ve grown up in a good home.


Be grateful for what you have and leave it behind. This man is not a father - he was a sperm donor. A father would have been there for you all along and would be working to build you up - not add drama to your life.

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You're an adult, so you get to choose the degree of interaction you want with the man. If cutting him off will make you feel more lousy rather than less lousy, shoot for enough distance to feel better, then meet with him in public on occasion, and place limits on discussing the things that upset you.

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