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I've been here years ago.

 

Here we go. My girlfriend moved in with her kids. Everything was going so good. We had an amazing vacation together. We talk non stop every day. I mean it was perfect I was so happy and she said it also many times

 

After having an great weekend away with the kids it turn for the worse very quick. It came down to a wedding a year away and I could give an answer if i could go right away with my work schedule. With in an hr she add alternative ideas who she could go with. It was an destination wedding a year away. We could have booked in the new year for Just a few hundred dollars more. But she could waited.

 

Of course I was up set and said if it was my friends wedding and you had to wait to see or couldn't go. I said I wouldn't go without you. It put me in a bad mood for a few days. I work away so for me voicing my opinion on it she said I was controlling never in my life have I ever been called that

 

Next thing it was her birthday a few days later. Because of the disagreement I wasn't invited out. She said it was only girls night out. Come to find out there was boyfriends and husbands there. I was left at home on her birthday. So I was upset again and then she called me controlling.

 

 

The day I left to go to work and getting on my second flight she texted me and said she was moving out. She called me immature and controlling. No matter what I said I couldn't convince her to stay.

 

No the worst part is I truly loved her and still do. She left and with the kids. I'm having such a hard time with because I'm not that person she claims I am. Just like that she was gone. No I know she had a rough go with realationship but I shouldn't be put in the same category as them.

 

I really do love her and wish she would just talk to me

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I would speculate she met someone else or has been "talking to" her kids' father.

 

You'll say "I know her, no way is she interested in someone else", but it almost always is the case. That's why it seems "for no real reason" to you. She didn't tell you for obvious reasons.

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She is going through a messy divorce. 100% sure not with the dad of the kids just 4 days before we decided to book a vacation with the kids and my family and nephews. It was a big deal and surprise for them

 

It just really sucks we talked all the time many times through out the day and now nothing. We planed so much together. I'm stuck at camp working and it's the worst feeling ever right now. To the point of having panic attacks

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You may miss the company and action but this was a bad scenario fraught with problems particularly letting her and her kids move in. Use this time to reflect and calm yourself from all the action/adventure and drama. Decide if you want a viable relationship with a stable woman or this type of drama. You were just collateral damage and a pawn in her "messy divorce". You can do much better than that. Be glad you're free.

She is going through a messy divorce.
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I just dont understand how she could go at a blink of an eye honestly this was our first disagreement. I'm a bit older now and I can say she was the one. Plus I became attached to the kids. I do want her back it seems like a nightmare thats going on. The simple things as hearing good night and morning everyday . I'm so overwhelmed by this and I dont know if I can handle it.

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She's upto something. Breakup out the blue? Saying you are controlling etc is all putting the blame on you which is usually a sign of guilt. Only she knows whats shes been upto. Only other thing i can think is of shes being horrible to make you dump her so she can be free and not look like the bad person. I'd consider this/her done.

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Nothing is out of the blue my friend. Its like been boiling in her mind for sometime and she used this wedding as an excuse to bring it up to the surface. Case in Point: She calls you controlling. You might not agree with it and wonder how can that be, but instead of dismissing it. Why don't you listen? But I digress.

I don't think its over, but there are a lot of issues going on other than this wedding and controlling. So why don't you suggest couples counseling? If you are serious, this is a serious step in resolving issues. If she doesn't agree to go, then you have your answer and you can say you tried. But even if she doesn't want to go, a few sessions with a counselor specializing in relationships will do you a world of good anyway.

good luck

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I just dont understand how she could go at a blink of an eye honestly this was our first disagreement. I'm a bit older now and I can say she was the one. Plus I became attached to the kids. I do want her back it seems like a nightmare thats going on. The simple things as hearing good night and morning everyday . I'm so overwhelmed by this and I dont know if I can handle it.

 

Um, no she is not "the one."

 

You are her rebound guy. Sorry, you are hurting, but be glad she has moved on. She has latched onto either a new guy or the one she is "divorcing."

 

Good luck.

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I agree with No1. How could it be perfect if she is calling you controlling and moving out because of it?

 

Based on the above post my guess is she had some concerns that she tried to talk about that you dismissed because you didn’t feel like they were accurate. Thing is, we all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves and sometimes the only way we see them is when they are reflected back on us by other people.

 

While she does seem a little immature and selfish, it’s also possible that you are more controlling than you realize.

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Honestly I've never been called controlling ever. I'm friends with a few ex girlfriend's and I asked them the question if I was. The answer was no.

 

I wish I could talk to her but she had totally shut me out. I'm not a perfect person but my heart and I put her first all the time . And this was our first disagreement. I just dont get it.

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She has been separated for a year and trust me I'm very respectful of kids. I made sure it was 100% before I allowed them to move in. I truly believed this was it and she said the same. I just dont get it. Maybe I never will

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She moved out over the first argument? How long were you together? The best couples have only a handful of arguments a year, but to break up with the first argument? - she's crazy. You dodged a bullet.

 

Edit: okay, I read farther down....... she was separated for only a year? That's not long enough - she's probably on the rebound, still hurt from the separation and not ready to love another again. It can take 1 to 1.5 years for every five years they were married for a person to get over it. It's a form of temporary crazy.

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She moved out over the first argument? How long were you together? The best couples have only a handful of arguments a year, but to break up with the first argument? - she's crazy. You dodged a bullet.

 

Edit: okay, I read farther down....... she was separated for only a year? That's not long enough - she's probably on the rebound, still hurt from the separation and not ready to love another again. It can take 1 to 1.5 years for every five years they were married for a person to get over it. It's a form of temporary crazy.

 

Yes only a year but I new this and all I did was supported her and just days before planned a big family vacation with my family and nephews. It really sucks I trusted her. It took me many many years to be able to do this again. Why because I thought it was right.

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It's taken me close to 10 years to be able to trust like I did and commit to having someone move in with me. Now I knows why I can't trust

 

Why would you move her in when you haven't even been with her past one year. You were still in the honeymoon stage. I'm thinking you were a rebound if she's only been separated for a year.

 

Personally I think you should keep yourself well away from women that will introduce you to their children so early on in a relationship. There is usually, more times than not, something not quite right with woman (or men) that will do that. If nothing else, they are self-absorbed and are only thinking about themselves or; they are users who will jump on an opportunity. Did you have her contribute to the household expenses or did she live there scott free?

 

Sorry you're hurting. Hopefully you will be able to learn something so that you go forward with that much more dating savvy that will protect you from jumping in too soon.

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Why would you move her in when you haven't even been with her past one year. You were still in the honeymoon stage. I'm thinking you were a rebound if she's only been separated for a year.

 

Personally I think you should keep yourself well away from women that will introduce you to their children so early on in a relationship. There is usually, more times than not, something not quite right with woman (or men) that will do that. If nothing else, they are self-absorbed and are only thinking about themselves or; they are users who will jump on an opportunity. Did you have her contribute to the household expenses or did she live there scott free?

 

Sorry you're hurting. Hopefully you will be able to learn something so that you go forward with that much more dating savvy that will protect you from jumping in too soon.

 

She left with owing me a good amount of money also:( and also took things out of the house while u was at work. The part with the kids. I've never had a chance to have them. I take kids very seriously. Like the part of them being introduced to me. I miss them very much also

 

This whole thing just really hurts I dont know if there is someone else. Or if I was just being used. Its probably best i dont know. I dont understand how she could just look the other was so fast.

 

I dont even want to go home. The house will be empty and I'm not good at this stuff

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If she owes you money you better have something in writing or you can kiss it goodbye. If she's stolen other items then call the cops but how are you going to prove it?

 

She sounds dodgy,I'd write this off as a loss if you got no evidence and a lesson harshly learnt.

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Anything given during the course of a relationship is considered a gift unless otherwise stated in writing. Whether it's money you gave her or things for her kids,etc. You sound bitter and paranoid. First you claim she suddenly ran out "without any warning"...that's doubtful. Now you claim she stole money and stuff from your house?

 

Then you claim you love her and want her back. Then you claim you're so depressed you can't go back to an empty house. What all this spells out is that in less than one year this woman did not totally mess up your life and all these ex gf's you're still chatting with also left for some reason as well. This particular woman may be a mess but now she's gone so rejoice.

 

While you would like to paint her as this thieving nasty mess and yourself as this victim, it's time to ask yourself how long your life has been a mess with or without her. And now you're backtracking through your black book and crying on your exgfs' shoulders for validation.

She left with owing me a good amount of money also:( and also took things out of the house while u was at work.
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She did run out without warning sure we had a bit of a disagreement just before heading to work. And before that everything was good. She started packing as soon as I left for work that morning.

 

Yes I covered a lot of things because she was in financial trouble for a bit. It was I will pay you back as soon as I can. So I took care of things. No questions asked.

 

I asked the question when she was moving if she was leaving the stuff in the house that was already there. Her reply was I'm bowring a few things lol never asked. It was easy for her because she had a moving company in. Just take what she wanted. Who knows what is left. It's funny she had no money but could afford all of this in just a few days.

 

 

Yes it sucks she is gone but also she did this to me. I trusted her

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When you want someone so badly you move them and their kids in quickly and give them money...it's time to look closely at your motivations.

 

Was it HER you wanted...or just someone to fill voids in your life?

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Anything given during the course of a relationship is considered a gift unless otherwise stated in writing. Whether it's money you gave her or things for her kids,etc. You sound bitter and paranoid. First you claim she suddenly ran out "without any warning"...that's doubtful. Now you claim she stole money and stuff from your house?

 

Then you claim you love her and want her back. Then you claim you're so depressed you can't go back to an empty house. What all this spells out is that in less than one year this woman did not totally mess up your life and all these ex gf's you're still chatting with also left for some reason as well. This particular woman may be a mess but now she's gone so rejoice.

 

While you would like to paint her as this thieving nasty mess and yourself as this victim, it's time to ask yourself how long your life has been a mess with or without her. And now you're backtracking through your black book and crying on your exgfs' shoulders for validation.

 

When you want someone so badly you move them and their kids in quickly and give them money...it's time to look closely at your motivations.

 

Was it HER you wanted...or just someone to fill voids in your life?

 

It was her I wanted i wasn't looking when i found her. I had no problem living the way I was. I was happy. Meeting her just added to it. I just thought it was right. It wasn't out of desperation.

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