Dating advice

[katrina1980]

He said sweet things like just seeing my smile would make his day etc. and really want to see me like everyday. i suggested him that we can start from friendship and see how it goes which means both of us will be off the market which is probably not good for both of us to try to force it . But he agreed to go forward with it. I might bring this up when we meet next time. he is so so sweet and i would miss him if i wont see him again :-(

 

Next time? Oh I didn't realize he had scheduled another date.

 

You posted he said "take care" which typically means "it's been fun but have a nice life."

 

So when is this "next time" scheduled for?

[katrina1980]

but he is such a sweet guy and those guys who i feel the chemistry with have been players.

 

zzzz, at the risk of sounding presumptuous, it sounds like your self-esteem isn't the greatest, which is why you're drawn to "players" or men who play games and/or don't treat you quite right.

 

These men light a fire in you, they challenge you, they intrigue you, they keep your brain on high alert which some people find exciting and exhilarating. And they (you) call this "chemistry" which in reality is anything but.

 

The flip side of that is when you do finally meet a man, like this guy, who is sweet, kind, and plays no games, you feel "meh" -- try as you might you just can't seem to feel an attraction for him!

 

I can almost guarantee that if this same man started treating your poorly, started playing games and keeping you guessing, like those "player" types you're drawn to, your feelings would change for him real fast.

 

I don't think that will ever happen, I think he's gone, your announcing you don't feel chemistry drove him off and rightfully so, I only posted what I did to make a point.

 

You've got some issues to resolve z, which you'd be wise to address assuming you truly want (and are emotionally capable of) a stable, healthy relationship with a kind, honest man versus a man who constantly keeps you guessing and on edge and who will never commit.

[zzzz74032343]

I can almost guarantee that if this same man started treating your poorly, started playing games and keeping you guessing, like those "player" types you're drawn to, your feelings would change for him real fast.

 

I don't think that will ever happen, I think he's gone, your announcing you don't feel chemistry drove him off and rightfully so, I only posted what I did to make a point.

 

You've got some issues to resolve z, which you'd be wise to address assuming you truly want (and are emotionally capable of) a stable, healthy relationship with a kind, honest man versus a man who constantly keeps you guessing and on edge and who will never commit.

 

No He said that we should see how things go. He has been wanting to meet me everyday and i feel it is too much as we just met and i still need time to think and also need some space. I think if i find him physically attractive , i would probably want to meet everyday but that might be the main reason as i still have to try to make myself see him attractive because he is not usuallly my type that i would go for . Apart from that he ticks all the boxes.

[zzzz74032343]

Next time? Oh I didn't realize he had scheduled another date.

 

You posted he said "take care" which typically means "it's been fun but have a nice life."

 

So when is this "next time" scheduled for?

 

Well he has been wanting to meet everyday but i just dont feel like that ,i feel it's hard work having to meet everyday so i told him maybe we should meet next week .....

I know he is now quite unhappy from the message he sent me as he is probably thinking i am meeting other guys but i am actually not, i'm just doing my daily routine stuffs ........

[zzzz74032343]

zzzz, at the risk of sounding presumptuous, it sounds like your self-esteem isn't the greatest, which is why you're drawn to "players" or men who play games and/or don't treat you quite right.

 

These men light a fire in you, they challenge you, they intrigue you, they keep your brain on high alert which some people find exciting and exhilarating. And they (you) call this "chemistry" which in reality is anything but.

 

The flip side of that is when you do finally meet a man, like this guy, who is sweet, kind, and plays no games, you feel "meh" -- try as you might you just can't seem to feel an attraction for him!

 

I can almost guarantee that if this same man started treating your poorly, started playing games and keeping you guessing, like those "player" types you're drawn to, your feelings would change for him real fast.

 

He is not the type i would normally go for but we met because he ticks all the boxes and he posted the old pictures of his. Those guys that i said i was attracted to because they are hot guys, attractive physically and good looking ( my type ) . I guess with their physical attributes , they are also spoiled with options and they behave like players which is a shame.

This guy is very nice , he is not classified as a hot guy like those explained above.....

[Realitynut]

Yes, but can you say your relationship is going well?

Oh Boltun you've heard about this guy for YEARS. I quit talking about him cuz I was embarrassed.

It was not because I didn't find him attractive that our relationship went down the tubes...and had been for 5 years! But the min. I had sex with and became 'sexually attached/attracted' he for lack of better understanding did a complete turn around. We'd have great sex...then the next day Colder than ice.

 

Been this way for years. The hard part of letting him go was, he had been my best friend for 10 months, as he was pursuing. And still my best friend for the last 6 years....when he was talking to me! lol. It's been 3 weeks now that I have ignored him. He's on dating sites.. I'm moving on. But sis and her hubby are happy. She still admits at times she doesn't find him attractive! lol

 

So that was not the issue for us. Feeling attraction based on looks. I mean...sure he liked me based on MY LOOKS...cuz I'm damn HOT!!!! lol