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Did she reject me?


crazyguy123
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So last year, I asked this girl out. She rejected me and wanted to be friends. I told her I wasn't interested in friendship and if she ever changed her mind, she can contact me. I actually see this girl quite often and we would talk once in a while.

 

Then I got into a relationship and she knows about it too. After my relationship ended, I gave some time for myself and just focused on me.

 

I saw this girl again and we spoke. I noticed she has lost a significant amount of weight and is extremely skinny. She told me she has been having some health issues. Then, she kinda brought it up we should do something over the summer and I agreed.

 

A few days later, I messaged her and asked her out. She asked me about my previous relationship and I replied "It ended a while back and it was for the best."

 

So when I asked her out, she told me she couldn't do it right now and she wanted to do another time. She even emphasized don't get the wrong idea. She just can't do it now. She told me lets try again another time. She said that multiple times.

 

One of my mutual friends said she's being honest because she does have some health issues. She told me that earlier before I even asked her out.

 

Is this a rejection? If not, what do I do from here?

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If it's not a yes, treat it as a no. And please don't make a woman repeat herself multiple times on that.

 

She knows your interested. If for whatever reason she wants to give it a shot in the future, she'll let you know. I wouldn't bank on it, though.

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I agree. If it's not a yes, take it as a no.

 

If she is too sick or too busy to not be able to see you "now" when she is the one that said "we should do something over the summer" then she's a flake and you shouldn't keep trying to win over a flake.

 

Did she disclose to you why she "just can't do it now?"

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her weight loss could be due to health problems -- did you think of that?

 

The first time, she told you she only wanted to be friends. Therefore, if she ever wanted to be more than friends, it was up to her not you to change the terms - to ask you on an actual date or say 'hey, i know i said i only wanted to be friends before...but... would you go out with me? " - i mean really asking out - not just "we should catch up sometime." If someone tells me that, I say "we should. I will be at the street fair. If you see me there, flag me down." Nothing that sounds one on one.

 

I really think that she picked up on the fact that you are still interested and that is why she is acting the way she is.

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She said she just Has just been distant with everybody. Which is true because our mutual friend agreed. Furthermore, she's trying to get her health in order.

 

Always emphasizing not to take it the wrong way though.

 

She is saying that because she wants to give you a soft, not hard rejection. She has made it clear she has no romantic interest in you. So accept that and stop pursuing her

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I think she was truthful and honest with you. She clearly stated not for you to get the wrong idea, she can't go out with you and in the future, try another time. What is there not to understand? Respect her wishes. She told you multiple times. Get her message!

 

You found out she has some health issues. Show compassion and back off. She even told you earlier about having health issues. Give her space and time.

 

I don't think it's rejection. She would've told you not to bother her anymore yet she did not. What do you do from here? Nothing. Live your life and when she feels better, she will be receptive to your date suggestion in the future. Until then, put your thoughts about her on pause and get on with your own life.

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I have to think her resistance to date you is because she has other things going on that precludes a relationship...or a brand new relationship...which is her health and personal issues. You have had commentary from mutual friends and acquaintances that there are some personal issues going on with this woman. Let it go. She is not in a place to date. She does not want to take on a man who has to take on her issues. She doesn't have the capacity to care for someone else, someone new, when she needs to care for herself and also care for her existing family and friends and her professional life...the dynamics of juggling illness and not being a leech and accepting help and being the rock and not being needy...do you get the push-pull?

 

Let it go. The timing is not right. Maybe she would love to pursue a relationship with you, but her plate is full, and she certainly doesn't want to put the burden of her life on you, the brand new guy. She doesn't have the capacity and she doesn't want to hurt anyone or lead them on.

 

Be her friend when you see her. Later...down the road...maybe something can happen...maybe.

 

It's not the best foundation to start a relationship on, anyway. Allow time to pass and heal.

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