How Should I Approach This?

[ValenSB]

Novel incoming since I got hit in my feelings but I'll try to make it as short as possible.

 

Worked seasonal at this place and met a girl there. She approached me, we got along very well, went on a few dates, and ended up dating for about a month. I ended up really liking her a lot (and still do), but some things didn't play out so well at the end. School was starting again for both of us and I stopped working at our job for the meantime. I mostly only saw her at work since she lives an hour away from town. Towards the end of the month dating and before being laid off, I jumped the gun and nervously asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend. She said she didn't want to and liked how things were going currently, and I checked myself for moving a little too fast and agreed. A few days later I texted her to see if she wanted to hang out but got no response. Another week later she sent a short text saying she just wanted to be friends and I said no worries. I was hoping asking her too early didn't scare her that much and I didn't really see a reason for ending it since before that everything felt fine.

 

I sent her one last normal text and she still didn't respond, so I thought I was just cut off. Another week later I was still salty and called her, but she didn't answer. I left her a short voicemail saying hopefully we could still be friends since we had a lot in common, talked for hours, shared personal stuff, and so on. She called me back later that night saying she just got out of work and explained to me some things. Basically, she said that it wasn't my fault, I did nothing wrong, life schedule got busy, some serious family problems, etc. She then texted me after saying she wanted to talk again and she had something she wanted give me. I said yes, but we tried finding a day and time and couldn't find one, so it ended up falling off and we pretty much stopped talking. I moved on and saw other people in the meantime.

 

Fast forward a couple months later, I get re-hired permanently at the same place and ran into her at work today. We talked for a bit on our break for a short time but I had to hurry back to my shift. We didn't mention anything about where we left off but I kinda want to talk about it and see whats up. So my question is, how should I approach this? Should I bring it up again or act like it never happened and just start off fresh? And I still like her a lot after seeing her again, so should I (and how can I) ease back in and possibly ask her to hang out and catch up?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately you're in the friendzone. Enjoy work and be friendly but stop approaching her, stop texting her. She's not that interested.

she sent a short text saying she just wanted to be friends

I sent her one last normal text and she still didn't respond

I was still salty and called her, but she didn't answer.

[Tinydance]

I agree, I think she's not interested. You dated for a month and after that she decided that she wasn't really feeling it, it wasn't working out for her. Trust me, after a month of dating she should have had an idea as to whether she could see this as a relationship or not. She said she didn't want to be your girlfriend and then she stopped contacting you all together and stopped replying to you. She said she doesn't want to date you and wants to be only friends. So I think you've already got your answer and you need to respect what she told you. I know it's hard because you really liked her but I think she doesn't feel the same and there's no future there.

[boltnrun]

Don't keep pushing or she could end up rejecting you more firmly, making work REALLY awkward.

 

You already asked. So, let it go. Date others you don't work with.

[Billie28]

You dated for 30 days and in those 30 days “some things didn't play out so well at the end”

 

So basically you dated for an insignificant amount of time but sufficient enough for her to not want to pursue it.

And you won’t take no for an answer?

Sorry but you really have no choice in the matter.

 

She is not interested. And that’s ok!

But stop investing time in people not interested in you which in turn could inadvertently leave you unavailable to those who are!

[PJM]

You know some times a girl can put you in the friend zone for different reasons. ( personal stuff going on) Yes I agrees if I was very much intrested in you then I would respond immediately even if I was extremely busy at work . But since she did talk again , may be she wants to keep it open. I would not stalk her or push her but , there is nothing wrong in asking her to hang out and starting things fresh. Yes you seem to like her a lot more than her , may be she is not in a space to give the attention you need but I don't see any wrong putting things out there and start fresh as a friend and see where things go from there .

[smackie9]

If she was interested she would have been all over wanting to be your GF. She gently let you down. IMO there is no such thing as too soon to ask for exclusivity. When it's right it's right....this time it was not, and no amount of time will change that.

 

What to do? Play it kool, be mysterious, and aloof. To be desirable is to be less available. So don't bug her to hang out or anything...let her come to you. If there is any attraction there on her end, she will come around. Oh and be sure to talk to other girls, it brings up your value....yaya it's PU but it works.