IkaaIkaa Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Hi y'all. I could really use some insight from you :) Six months ago I met an amazing guy and we really hit it of. We have so much fun together, and he is the sweetest. But when things got serious (aka, he asked me if I would like to meet his parents), he got really anxious. His ex broke him really bad and, as he says it: he doesn't want to get hurt like that again. He gave his all to her and 'that wasn't good enough'. So he doesn't know how to do it right this time. I can relate to that feeling and I have no problems with going slow. But lately he's been asking to meet my family out of the blue, and if he can come to my friends birthday party. But when I say 'yes', he backs off last minute, because he 'is scared of not making a good impression'. We stopped kissing and having sex, and when I asked him what the heck is going on, het told me that he doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't feel able to fall in love with me now. But at the same time, he misses me after a day apart, and he thinks that everything is better when I'm there. He want's to take me everywhere and meet everyone in his life. He wants to know everything about me and cuddle all the time. 'I don't want to lose you, this hasn't happened to me before', he said. We were very honest with eachother for the first time last weekend. He told me he is too afraid to be vulnerable and totally open up to me. And he had a hard time with us not being intimate anymore. I told him that's exactly what I want to do with him, but he scares me with the hot and cold behaviour. He stared at his shoes trying to tell me something, but he couldn't get the words out of his mouth. I told him that I can't see him anymore. He asked me if we could meet in a couple of weeks, to catch up and see what's there between us. But I told him, no. I know it sounds mean and it's not what I actually want, but I'm emotionally drained. When we said goodbye, he held my head and started kissing me. We slept together and cuddled and talked all night. He asked me if I wanted to come to his parents the next day and talked about going on a holiday. The next morning he seemed a little distant again. But he called me everyday since and asked me to come to a party this week. I told him he should take someon else. I'm afraid I can't deal with this hot and cold behaviour any longer. But I truly feel love for him and I don't know what to do except distancing myself from him. I understand if all the advice you can give me is: walk away. But I really would like to know if anybody has gone trough this before, and if there's a way to work such a thing out. (Maybe stop for now, and meet in a couple of months?) Link to comment
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