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It’s been a hard two weeks but have made it this far!! Every time I think about reaching out I remember past break ups in my life and never getting what I wanted from those messages. I know that no contact is for the best! Why reach out to your ex if you’re still not at your absolute best yet!? If you have nothing new to offer nothing will change!

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Why reach out to your ex at all?

 

All that online crap about changing yourself to win your ex back is a huge load. It's okay to be in the bargaining stage (we all go through it) but I just wanted to tell you that you are 100% okay the way you are now.

 

Rejection hurts but obsession hurts more. Work on loving yourself not "bettering" yourself, if you catch my drift, and no contact will get a lot easier.

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Agree with SGH. It is indeed normal to have thoughts of reconciliation so soon, but you need to focus on bettering your self for YOU. Don't read this "how to get your ex back", they just enable you to obsess even more over your ex.

 

If it helps, try to think that IF it is "meant to be" she will be there in 6 months from now too. There is no rush. No 30 days rule required. Be a better you as if she will never return. Don't be the person she would like you to be, be the person you would like to be and then you'll realize that you might not even like her anymore.

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Can a guy reattract a girl after she loses physical & emotional attraction due to long distance and me being distracted with work and not listening to her when she was telling me to change?

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It's normal to want your ex back after a break up, when you're the "dumpee". I get it, I'm going through it, but keep in mind it's just due to the fact that we weren't ready to let go and we need time to process what happened. Once you do, you'll realize that it wasn't working for you either.

 

In your case, if she was literally asking you to change and you weren't listening to her, it's probably because you didn't want to change. And honestly, you don't have to, unless your behavior is actually bothering you. This is what you need to work on, not to get this specific ex back, but to change things that are bothering YOU. Once you feel ok with yourself, then you will attract and keep a partner that will suit you.

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This will sound cliche but the first couple weeks are the hardest then it gets easier.

 

I started reading books again which helped occupy my mind. I also joined a drama class. So find something you enjoy and submerge yourself with it. Aim for something new that involves learning as that will keep your brain busy.

 

Also... The reward is when you can look back after not contacting and be proud of yourself. No greater satisfication knowing you didn't care in.

 

You are doing so well. Stay strong x

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I found out she was overlapping! She already had this other guy lined up! Smh her! She couldn’t deal with her emotions so she had to find other guy so she’d feel valuable wow!!

 

How did you find out?

 

So now you can stop focusing on trying to find a way to attract her back and instead focus on moving forward.

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Well I already pretty much had an idea what was going on but last night I saw a something online that confirmed he was the guy! The guy who intellectually challenged her and was fit she said she wanted but in fact he was already there! Smh

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The math in the place you're in is always—always—the same: ex is always greater than the sum of why.

 

Read that a few times, and maybe just whisper it to yourself whenever you find yourself spinning around like this.

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