Friend introduced me to her best friend

[abitbroken]

asian american is fine too.

 

Then there are millions in the US. you are not even trying if you have not met any.

[lioil]

Then there are millions in the US. you are not even trying if you have not met any.

 

Well some people are single so not all can be matched. And i did meet some here but not worked out so looking for additional options.

 

I did meet her again over the weekend and she texted me after feeling a bit disappointed how i am not showing enough interest in her. It is only our 2nd meeting so not sure if she is looking for more physical affection or more attentiveness? She did mention how she told me she is a simple person but felt awkward when i casually asked her what some of her favorite brands are.

 

She heads back on 23rd where she will be there for 3 months or so for a performance tour. She said she will be back after the 3 months trying for more permanent position through the opera house here. I think she is trying to get some sort of "commitment" before then so we can keep in touch during the 3 months or so and then have a better relationship when she comes back here. Maybe it's the pressure but is it realistic to make that kind of commitment before she leaves? I think my answer now would be see eachother more and decide till then?

[saluk]

It doesn't sound like either of you really clicked well. How is she a better prospect than some of the people you have dated locally?

[abitbroken]

Well some people are single so not all can be matched. And i did meet some here but not worked out so looking for additional options.

 

I did meet her again over the weekend and she texted me after feeling a bit disappointed how i am not showing enough interest in her. It is only our 2nd meeting so not sure if she is looking for more physical affection or more attentiveness? She did mention how she told me she is a simple person but felt awkward when i casually asked her what some of her favorite brands are.

 

She heads back on 23rd where she will be there for 3 months or so for a performance tour. She said she will be back after the 3 months trying for more permanent position through the opera house here. I think she is trying to get some sort of "commitment" before then so we can keep in touch during the 3 months or so and then have a better relationship when she comes back here. Maybe it's the pressure but is it realistic to make that kind of commitment before she leaves? I think my answer now would be see eachother more and decide till then?

 

How many single women did you go on dates with? Get out there. Online dating, join or start a Chinese conversation and dinner group -- for people who speak Chinese and want to keep their skills fresh and talk to others (i know on meetup dot come there were several within a 50 mile radius of me) made of transplanted Chinese people - some here on business some not, and a couple students who are not Chinese and are studying the language. you meet and have conversations over dinner and who cares if you only attract elderly people and random couples because they all have a daughter, sister, friend who is single. How are you socializing? Do you do any volunteering? What are you interested in?

[lioil]

It doesn't sound like either of you really clicked well. How is she a better prospect than some of the people you have dated locally?

 

I do feel negative towards her. I think the Visa uncertainty is whats giving me the pause. Also, i dont know how to ask her how she never been to US but wants to stay here. I am sure many who wanted to achieve "the american dream" never been to America first either. Also some of it is some pressure of establishing something concrete before she leaves.

[saluk]

If there is one thing that is really sexy early in a relationship, it's pressure! (sarcasm)

[abitbroken]

 

You say "YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE UNITED STATES. HOW CAN YOU BE SURE YOU WANT TO STAY HERE". its as easy as that.

 

But really think about it -- if you live in China where you are subjected to "social credit", minimal religious freedom, pollution (some areas in China have the highest air pollution in the world.) and being a country that only recently relaxed a birth quota, wouldn't you jump at the chance to live in the United States, too?

[lioil]

You say "YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE UNITED STATES. HOW CAN YOU BE SURE YOU WANT TO STAY HERE". its as easy as that.

 

But really think about it -- if you live in China where you are subjected to "social credit", minimal religious freedom, pollution (some areas in China have the highest air pollution in the world.) and being a country that only recently relaxed a birth quota, wouldn't you jump at the chance to live in the United States, too?

 

 

yeah i agree with couple points but religious freedom is something gov controls but the majority of chinese arent really religious. The birth quota has its pros and cons. I believe in living within your means and only have kids when you can afford. People have kids with no means to support creates a huge social burden for all of us. But that's here nor there.

One thing china has going for it (through discussion with chinese friends) is its a good place to make money. US as great as it is is a very mature country and very developed. China is still growing and there are many new business opportunities to be had. But yeah pollution is a HUGE thing there and i bet if we have it here the government will change its tune about environmental protection and pollution.

[abitbroken]

yeah i agree with couple points but religious freedom is something gov controls but the majority of chinese arent really religious. The birth quota has its pros and cons. I believe in living within your means and only have kids when you can afford. People have kids with no means to support creates a huge social burden for all of us. But that's here nor there.

One thing china has going for it (through discussion with chinese friends) is its a good place to make money. US as great as it is is a very mature country and very developed. China is still growing and there are many new business opportunities to be had. But yeah pollution is a HUGE thing there and i bet if we have it here the government will change its tune about environmental protection and pollution.

 

There is NO benefit to China's birth quota! When young women can have a career or education, it lowers the birth rate because they are having kids later in a natural way just a little and when couples marry a bit later, the same. China's one child did not naturally reduce the birth rate --- it artificially did and has caused a major gender imbalance, particularly in teenagers. I think i read there were 41 million more men than women overall. Where did the women go? Adopted by Americans, aborted, abandoned. So to me its puzzling, why you are looking for women from China who are being heavily competed for in China - Men are even looking for foreign brides in Korea, Viet Nam, etc because there is a disparity.

 

Why not give us a good reason why there are not eligible women in the United States? There are 50 states and you shot down the idea of meeting an American woman because of one or two that didn't work out as a match.