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So how should I tell him lol


Cdlove
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So I went over to my boyfriend’s house a few days ago and this is still on my mind... I’m 18, never had sex, never had a boyfriend (but I have talked to guys but never got far enough to date or kiss them) until obviously, I met my boyfriend. We started out kissing(before dating) then as we saw each other more we progressed slowly into french kissing (after we started dating) and now that we are dating he has started to rub my vagina. I don’t dislike it. I mean, I’ve never had a guy do it to me so it’s something new and kinda scary. There were a few times were he almost rubbed a good spot and the sometimes where it would hurt lol. So moral of the storyyy, how can I tell him that it hurts when he rubs without hurting his pride LMAO? He would rub gently and then try to go hard but it hurt coz he was rubbing the wrong area .. so how do I help my dear partner out ?

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You use your words. I'm assuming he's a big boy who can handle it. You're both still learning. He wants you to enjoy it. Guide his hand and let him know not so hard. Him seeing it makes you feel good will be plenty enough positive feedback.

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It can be hard to speak up when things are new, but now that you two are established and moving forward sexually, it is really important that you do. Penetration will probably be painful and unsatisfying if you don't feel comfortable voicing when something hurts or doesn't feel good. Make sure the two of you get good at foreplay (whatever that means for the two of you, but essentially actions before sex that make you ready physically and mentally) before trying to have penetrative sex.

 

If he likes you, he will be happy for the feedback. Take it as a huge red flag to get out if he gets upset or angry!

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If you plan to have sex with him, get some birth control first.

 

Talk to him, tell him what he's doing is hurting you. Guide his hand to a better place that doesnt hurt you. If he gives you grief about what he's doing and keeps on hurting you, this is definitely a huge red flag.

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I don’t plan to have sex. I would prefer to get married first lol. But thank you! I will do my best to communicate. I will also keep an eye out for red flags since I am new to relationships. Also, when he’s touching me, should I touch him? I don’t even know what to do lol. Cuz I noticed that when he’s touching me, he can’t focus on kissing either so I don’t want to be kissing him one sided.

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You only do what you feel comfortable in doing. There are no rules. Don't think about "his pride", it's your body and it is not there for his satisfaction only. Anything sexual is made for both to enjoy. If he's hurting you, a simple "ouch" is usually enough for him to stop and you can tell him what you really like after that. If you want to kiss him when he's touching you, do it, if it feels one sided and you don't like it, stop doing it, but I doubt that he wouldn't. Sometimes though it's hard for some to focus on two things at the same time.

 

If you're planning on having sex when you're married, you should let him know, it's your boundary, set it.

 

Feel confident in your body and protect it, it's yours, not his. Only you can decide what you're going to do with it.

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Don't do anything you don't want to do. If you are ready for sex, use condoms and keep in mind all STDs are transmitted orally as well as genitally. Be smart and get to a clinic for some sex education. If he's clumsy speak up or just guide or move his hand away. Never have painful experiences or sex to feed a boy's ego or to impress boys or keep boys around. Only do what's right for you and what's comfortable.

Snow that we are dating he has started to rub my vagina.
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So I went over to my boyfriend’s house a few days ago and this is still on my mind... I’m 18, never had sex, never had a boyfriend (but I have talked to guys but never got far enough to date or kiss them) until obviously, I met my boyfriend. We started out kissing(before dating) then as we saw each other more we progressed slowly into french kissing (after we started dating) and now that we are dating he has started to rub my vagina. I don’t dislike it. I mean, I’ve never had a guy do it to me so it’s something new and kinda scary. There were a few times were he almost rubbed a good spot and the sometimes where it would hurt lol. So moral of the storyyy, how can I tell him that it hurts when he rubs without hurting his pride LMAO? He would rub gently and then try to go hard but it hurt coz he was rubbing the wrong area .. so how do I help my dear partner out ?

 

I don't think it will hurt his pride. If it does, he's probably not a good match. I suspect most males want to satisfy their partner.

 

Bring it up in a casual way. If he reacts in a bad way, don't take it personal. He's just one guy. He may be your first, but he may not be a good match.

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