intrinsic76 Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 Hi guys, Im new here. I need to share something and hopefully get some feedback. Im currently out of state with my boyfriend who is recovering from major surgery. Im staying with him at the hospital until Monday then will be heading back home while he continues to recover. My boyfriend is a very social man. He owns a few business and is very involved in our community. I am a mom and outside of work, I am primarily at home with my kids. I put a lot of trust in him and never ask him who he's with, what he's doing, etc. We often don't even talk at night. I appreciate the space we give each other. I have the weekends off and spend them with him. We have been dating for a year and a half and we have a very strong relationship. Or so I thought. He had asked me to get on his phone for him and send a message. While I was doing that, another message came in that said, "I can't wait to see you again" or something to that effect. It was from the woman he broke up with right before me. The woman who broke his heart. The woman who only four months ago we ran in to and seemed upset for the rest of the day. I asked him about the text. He said they had met a couple times and he was going to tell me about it. I told him I was not comfortable with them meeting and that having a "friendship" was that important to him, I would feel better if I could meet her. As much as I don't want to spend time with her, I thought whether or not we could all hang out would be a good indication of whether their intentions were truly friendly. He told me he suggested we all get together after surgery. He also told me that he respects my feelings and is not that eager to spend time with her. I had a feeling he would not be so eager to hang out if I were there and I think I was right. I tried to put it aside and move on. Well, as he was zonked out in his bed and I sat in the chair next to him, my worries got the best of me. I felt the need for reassurance. I looked at his phone. Please spare me the lecture. I know it was wrong. His text did not suggest we all get together. He just said he'd be in touch when he gets back. I went back further and found he had been reaching out to her frequently. Nothing too flirtatious, but clearly wanting her attention. I also found that two months after we decided we were exclusive, he was still having her over to his house. I really felt we had a strong, honest relationship. I have loved him for it. I am so afraid now that I will have a hard time trusting him and that our relationship will suffer. I want to trust him. I love him dearly. But I also fee betrayed. I know I can't mention it while he is recovering from his surgery. I fully intend on continuing to take care of him and not show that Im upset. I think it's actually good that I can't react. It's always a good thing to think it over. I also want to add that I know he loves me deeply. I think he is just is having a hard time letting her go. She did him wrong in the end. He would be a fool to ruin what we have for her and I think he knows that. Thoughts? Link to comment
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