WithLove Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 I need to talk about this issue with the internet, because I don't want to talk to someone that knows me and my long-term boyfriend. The man I love and have been dating for several years is the best person I could ever hope to be with. I can’t wait to marry him. The only thing is... he has low to no libido due to low testosterone. He has been seeing a urologist for this for over a year and been on meds for it. His body produces too much estrogen and not enough testosterone. The meds assist with this issue, but it hasn’t seemed to have done much in terms of our sex life. For example, we’ve had intercourse exactly once since the new year, and it was only for a minute or two before he physically wasn’t able to continue. We do other sexual things, but it just... it gets the job done, but satisfaction is fleeting and doesn’t last long, at least for me. I know from us talking about this a little that he’s been in several relationships in the past and that this wasn’t a big issue when he was younger. He will be 35 this year. I love everything about this man, except for this. It’s not his fault, and he’s doing everything he can to try to fix this problem. But I do still feel a little resentment sometimes. I went through this issue with my first boyfriend and it was one of the main reasons I broke up with him. Now that I’m almost 30, I didn’t really think that I’d fall for someone else that has this problem, and I didn’t think my sex life would be virtually non-existent at this age. I don’t know what to do. This guy is everything I want in a man, except for this. I can’t reiterate that enough. I love him enough that this problem is still worth “dealing with”. But I’m so scared that eventually I’ll be resentful enough to where it affects our relationship or marriage. And I remember all the prior advice I've given about not settling, and been given to me, and I don’t feel like I am settling. I just feel like... like I found the best man for me in every aspect but one, but it’s such an important aspect. He has an appointment with his urologist today and although we haven’t spoken specifically on what he’s going to talk to him about, I know he talked about wanting to tell the doctor that the meds aren’t working well and that something else needs to be done. So I do think he’s aware of me not getting my needs met. Anyway, I just needed to get this out there in the open. I’ve been thinking about it for a little while now and I wanted to get some insight. EDIT: He went to the urologist and he wanted to talk to him about doing a particular thing to raise his libido, and the doctor "wouldn't recommend it for him at this time". I asked why, but haven't gotten an answer yet. Link to comment
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